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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1377
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I'm a 35 years old male. I've a loving girlfriend of years

Customer Question

Hi there,
I'm a 35 years old male. I've a loving girlfriend for number of years now but started to see prostitutes for a long while (3 years or so). It's extremely bothering me but I feel that I just cannot control this thing in me. It breaks out suddenly at times (once a week usually) and takes all the control over.
I've seen prof sex therapist many many occasions but didn't help. Couldn't stop it. I've always had issues with staring women on streets and being a lover or having one but, never seen prostitutes in my 20's. This desire for prostitutes (sex with different women) came when I had hard time at university (being mature student) those years back and after graduation it just remained. I'm ashamed of myself...
Please advise me as where to take this issue.
Every wise word helps!
Thank you in advance,
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry that you are having this uncontrollable issue with seeing prostitutes, I can understand how distressing this must be for you. May I ask, for how long were you seeing the Sex Therapist, for what I can imagine is an "addiction?" Was the therapy individual or group therapy? Also are you currently taking any medications at all?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've seen therapist for around 15 times on the weekly basis for individual discussion (a year ago). 1hr at a time. I think it has became an addiction. Just comes out of a blue moon and i cannot control it. Very disturbing. No madication taken whatsoever. Im quiet against them all to be true with you.
Thank you for the answers!
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

So if you are against medication than therapy is your only real option at this point. Truthfully 15 times is no where near enough to really get any type of benefit from Sex Therapy, usually I recommend at least 6-9 months before you can measure its effectiveness...I know it is frustrating, but therapy alone is very gradual and slow which is why it takes so long to be effective. You may want to try individual therapy again, but also add support groups such as Sex Addiction Anonymous would be good so that you can build a support system and accountability system with others that have the same issues as you. There is no magic fix to this unfortunately as it will take a lot of time and effort on your part to overcome this addiction. In addition, for the Sex Therapy I would also explore the core causes of this addiction like possibly a self-esteem issues where you like to be validated or wanted by an attractive person as this may help increase the effectiveness of your therapy

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