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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1372
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My daughter arrived from the US on business with our 18

Customer Question

Hello,
My daughter arrived from the US on business with our 18 month old grandson. While she was at her conference I babysat for the week. I was experiencing pain in my hips and back, from lifting him. I continued to care for him during the day and cook and clean up the dishes in the evening, and pick up toys etc. My husband was at work during the day. He did play with him in the evening, before bed. My daughter came him eat the end of the week to spend the weekend with us. She is extremely messy and expects me to do everything. By Friday I was in a lot of pain. I cooked, cleaned the dishes and had only asked my husband to put away some toys. He begrudgingly answered okay. Yet he did not do this fell asleep on the couch. My daughter had retired early to bed after I had bathed and put our grandson down for the night. I could. It make it up the stairs in the evening, infact had to crawl. My husband from the den called out I will buy an elevator...but did not come to my aid. I went to bed unhappy and very sad that I felt I was being taken advantage of. Next day I mentioned to my daughter that the least she could do was pick up a diaper she had left on the floor of the bedroom, when she changed her son, after all I had been doing. Just a respect thing..it does go in the garbage by the way. All he'll brook loose. I got an earful about well if I can't manage she should not try to come back to canada..as I would babysit. Stating I am messy, but you had better get used to it if I am to move back here and live while setting up a business. Her husband is a lawyer and looking for work in Toronto. Of course we want them to. I've back nothing would make us happier. I felt she was threatening me to pick up the pace and ignore her lack of help, as ransom over my head.
Now my husband is giving me the complete cold shoulder, slept in the other bedroom last night. I feel that they have been disrespectful towards me and I am a slave to just doing their bidding. My husband keeps saying my expectations are too high. Of course there is always an underlying issue which hasn't helped our marriage. Our youngest son was molested by my husbands nephew who was 4 years older but a complete bully. Never resolved within the family and my husband sank his head into the sand dealing with it. They all worked together in a family business which has made it difficult. I don't think he has ever forgiven me for not burying the issue too
What do you think?
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 9 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry that your daughter and husband are taking advantage of you in this manner, I can understand why this would be distressing to you. While I know that them giving your the "could shoulder" and lashing out at you is not something that you enjoy, I would still recommend that you continue to stand up for what is fair and that you be adamant that they do their share of the work in regards ***** ***** out with the child. There is no reason for them to treat you in this manner as it shows a lack of respect

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