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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 659
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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How to cope with a controlling narcissistic partner who s

Customer Question

how to cope with a controlling narcissistic partner who s finally revealed his true colours
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Dear Lily, my name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in New York State. Thank you for reaching out and using Just Answer. I emphathize with how difficult it can be to try to make a relationship work with a person who is Narcissistic. Have you tried to get professional help such as counseling to help you to develop support and strategies to help you in this relationship? Are there specific situations that I can give you some suggestions for how to deal with? I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Linda

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
my partner agreed to seek councilling but after a rocky patch but has successfully told her its all me and he wont see her again after 4 sessions
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
its the relentless bullying and battles i really am stuck in a situation
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Lily, can I ask is there any substance abuse involved? My heart goes out to you. It may be in fact that YOU are the one who is going to have to get help. Let's explore the options together. Linda

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
alcoholbut not regular use but when he does drink he turns pure evil last week he struck me whilst I was holding my baby as he d urinated three times on the floor in the bathroom twice id cleared up and third time I asked him so as id been a little off with him during the week he said I deserved it . feel very trapped by it all
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have a strong independent personality and also quite stubborn which doesn't help but at the same time if I make a decision and want to standby it it gets dismissed or I have to give him reasons and explain myself to him like a child .
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Lily, although you are strong and independent, and I believe that you must be in order to be dealing with this situation, your partners treatment of you is unacceptable. For you and your child. I think you know that, with narcissism, your partner is not going to see any reason he needs to change his behavior, but you can. You can change how you react to him and how you let him affect you. You can also explore the possibility of not having him in your life. But to do these things you need support and education. There is a facebook page that is called Narcissist support. It is educational and supportive. You can also look into a 12 step program like Al-Anon which supports the person who loves a person with a drinking problem (and he does if he drinks and behaves that way). They help with a wide range of tools to help keep you sane and focusing on your own growth and development while being involved with him. and of course there is CBT therapy that would give yo the opportunity to explore what you want and need for your sake and the sake of your child. This situation is not hopeless, there is help and support for you. It sounds like you may be ready to get the help you deserve. I have to go off line now, but i am here for you later if you need to discuss further. Sincerely, Linda

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thankyou ever so much I ll look into it
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
how should I react?
Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Dear Lily, all the best to you. If you could take a moment to rate my service to you I would truly appreciate it. Thanks so much, Linda

Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Lily, in answer to your last question how should I react,,,,,,,,I honestly believe with a narcissist who has an elevated sense of his own importance, you will have little impact on how he would respond to your suggestions or advice. He will always believe his thoughts, beliefs, behaviors are superior to yours and everyone else's. Therefore, you should take the path of going along to get along for now until you can get the education and support you need to take your relationship to a different level, especially given his aggression toward you already. Please reach out and get help for yourself to help you deal with a difficult situation. Linda

Expert:  Linda D. replied 1 year ago.

Hi Lily, I am just checking in to see if there is anything else I can do to help you. I hope things are going better for you. I wish you all the best, Linda

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