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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My eleven year old daughter was just caught searching of

Customer Question

My eleven year old daughter was just caught searching for pictures of "hot dads" on her iPod. I had removed safari but she had downloaded an app without my consent to search pictures. I thought I had set restrictions and she has only had her iPod back for a little over a week. A year ago she had her iPod taken away because I caught her reading pornographic stories online. She has weekly therapy for the last year and a half. Has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and, more recently, her therapist suspects she's showing traits of borderline personality disorder. My question is what should the recourse be considering the nature of her disorder and my fear of making her feel shame. Do I punish this behavior? She has a school dance this weekend I was thinking about now allowing her to attend. I have no idea what the proper response is. As of now, I've taken the iPod and told her we'd discuss it in the morning. I'm lost right now and any help would be appreciated.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 10 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It is much too early for any child to manifest symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as part of the criteria for that disorder is that the individual be at least 18 years of age. So if her therapist states that she displays symptoms of BPD, I would strongly recommend that you get a second opinion with another psychologist or psychiatrist. Also looking at pornographic images online is not part of the criteria for BPD at all and instead is actually considered a relatively normal part of childhood sexual development. As for this behavior I would recommend that you do provide some punishment like taking away her Ipad and preventing her from going to the dance, but I would also recommend some constructive punishment as well meaning that she should be doing something that helps the household or the community and this can mean doing more chores, a project (painting a room as an example) or volunteering. Constructive punishment like this has been shown to be more beneficial to children than just taking away something from them.

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 10 months ago.

Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns as I would be happy to continue assisting you regarding this issue.

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