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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1372
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My husband passed away 9 years ago. since s death, s 2

Customer Question

My husband passed away 9 years ago. since his death, his 2 sisters moved back home to help take care of the mom. the whole time my husband and I were married, we would take care of them while the 2 sisters were fancy free.The dad passed away and my husband got daily calls to come over. then my husband passed suddenly. last Friday the Mother passed away. today was the service and I wasn't even told about it. I am devastated. I can't believe I wasn't even mentioned in the death notice as surviving daughter-in-law of late son, etc.
how do I cope with this lake of compassion on their part and non closure of my mother-in-law?
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 9 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your mother in law and that you were not told about the service. You have to understand that this is still very fresh for you so it will take time to move forward from it, but right now I would focus on grieving for your mother in law in your own way despite what your sisters in law did. Just because they did not invite you to the service or tell you about your mother in law's passing does not erase the meaning she had to you nor the relationship you both had. Say goodbye to her in a way that you feel is fitting to her and you as that will be your closure from this terrible tragedy. While your sisters in law were being immature and purposefully hurtful towards you, I would recommend that you instead focus on yourself and your own healing and closure from this. Write a letter, pray, visit the memorial site, visit a popular spot you and the mother spent time at, etc...basically you want to say goodbye on your terms and in your way as your sisters in law cannot prevent you from doing this. They cannot take away the relationship you had with her and they cannot prevent you from saying goodbye in a way you want, so do that not just for yourself but for your mother in law as well.