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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. May I ask, for how long has this behavior been occurring for? You state that you know you need therapy, will you be attending psychotherapy sessions soon? May I ask, what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?
Well I cannot say why therapy did not work for your boyfriend, but if you think you need therapy and believe it has a good chance in helping you to gain better control of your behavior/emotions than I would recommend you start to attend either Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) sessions or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) sessions. Maybe therapy did not work for your boyfriend because either he did not put the effort and had a negative view of therapy from the beginning or he had a resistant type of depression that only responded to medications. Either way you cannot let his past experiences with therapy deter your need for such therapy. Also you are not left with much options...if he does not approve of therapy and you decide not to attend therapy than your behavior is only going to continue and that will lead to a break-up. So if you attend therapy and it helps to improve your behavior than you and your boyfriend can move forward in the relationship. Overall it appears that therapy is your best chance to control your behavior rather than doing nothing.
Then you need to enter into therapy, but with a different therapist that you feel is a better fit. Also you may want to consider discussing this case with a psychiatrist for medication management as that may help too in addition to therapy.
That is understandable, it was only a suggestion. Then if you want to do only therapy I would still recommend the CBT and DBT therapy modalities for you as they are the most effective to help you control your behavior and emotions.