Well I can obviously not speak for your partner and neither can you because you can only control your own actions and behaviors, just like she is the only one in control of her own actions. So lets focus on what you can do to help lessen these arguments and hopefully she will reciprocate. I would recommend starting to work with something called an anger decision sheet to help you better process your frustration and not let it get out of control. This type of worksheet is something you practice on your own and the try to incorporate it in your life and it will help you to express any anger and frustration you have in a more calm and assertive manner, or it will help you to let things go and move forward.
In addition, you may also want to consider working on something called a Though Record for yourself. You build things up in your mind and automatically go to the negative, this type of exercise will help you to focus more on the objective side of the situation instead of the negative. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
Lastly you can try to take breaks from arguments using relaxation techniques to help you calm down, clear your head, and refocus so that you do not let the argument lead you more down the same path and instead it will help you to better take control.
Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns as I would be happy to continue assisting you regarding this issue.