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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry that you are experiencing these symptoms, I can understand how distressing this can be for you. It sounds like you may be displaying symptoms of both Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Social Anxiety from what you described. And while therapy would only be part any type of treatment regimen normally, it would not be the sole treatment, so may I ask have you considered seeing your physician for the use of a SSRI antidepressant as this medication is the first line treatment for OCD and Social Anxiety or being referred to a psychiatrist for a medication regimen?
What you are describing is called "Self-talk" and it is a common coping mechanism people do to help lessen anxiety as it helps the individual to process their surroundings more, process their thoughts, etc...If you are worried that talking to yourself in your head is a symptom of a greater disorder like psychosis, than I can reassure that this is not because individuals with psychosis actually believe that they are talking to an outside force when in fact it is in their mind (e.g. auditory hallucination). You can differentiate between self-talk and voices outside of your head, a person in a psychotic state cannot make that differentiation. The Xanax and Klonopin are usually on effective for anxiety, but are ineffective as a monotherapy for OCD behaviors, such as the counting. So with that being said you should discuss with your doctor about trying an antidepressant like Luvox, Lexapro, or Zoloft as a first line treatment.
That is definitely more paranoia than actually Social Anxiety if you believe others are conspiring against you, but may I ask when you tell me right now that you sometimes believe others are conspiring against you do you believe that to be a fact that I cannot convince you is not real or do you just think it is all in your head?
Paranoia is a delusion which is called a fixed false belief meaning that no matter what evidence I provided or any rationalization on your part, you would always still believe the delusion to be an irrefutable fact. It sounds like you sometimes, in the moment, believe these others are conspiring against you, but then later you realize that the thought is irrational. This does not really fit the pattern of a Paranoid Delusion as one would not think it to be irrational. So it is possible this is just a severe type of Social Anxiety where you believe that others are conspiring against you at times because you believe you are being judged and watched by them, so the SSRI antidepressant can help with that. But also your Klonopin use should lessen this type of anxiety, if it is anxiety too. The other possibility is that you may have a weak or atypical delusion that comes and goes, this is not common, and you would need an atypical antipsychotic medication to treat that delusion.
Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns as I would be happy to continue assisting you regarding this issue.
Well I can recommend a two-fold approach. You can try the natural supplements of St. Johns Wort or Valerian Root to help lessen some of your symptoms, but these only work for mild to moderate levels of anxiety and may not be effective for treating OCD symptoms. In addition, you can try some self-therapy for treatment of OCD symptoms and Anxiety using these books:
"The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder" by Hyman and Pedrick
"Managing Social Anxiety, Workbook: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach (Treatments That Work)" by Hope, Heimberg, and Turk
I do also want to mention though that if you are suffering from any type of paranoid delusion, than this only responds to the atypical antipsychotic as there are no natural supplements or therapy modality that will truly help.
Was there anything else I can assist you with?
Unfortunately the answer to your question is to go to the doctor as OCD symptoms cannot be treated on one's own as it takes a combination of medications and therapy. I can tell you that the SSRI antidepressants for treating OCD and Social Anxiety have generic versions and can be relatively cheap. But it does sound like you need to get a new prescription...if you had a heart problem you would not hesitate to go to the cardiologist, well this issue lies within your brain and the proper treatment can be with the medication and/or therapy I suggested.