I am seeing a psyciatrist who has been putting me on topiramate, lamotrigine and other medicine for bipolar
( I believe) even though I'm not bipolar. I was visiting my family and was in an out patient psyciatric facility and the doctor perscribed lithium and I accidentally overdosed on it and the doctors did
hemodialysys . I never want to feel that way again it makes me want to cry now and never want to put my family through that again. (I am blessed with a wonderful family!!)The first medication the lamotrigine made me feel suicidal and anger so I stopped and told her so she put me on topiramate (it makes me feel even worse and she told me it would help me loose weight and sleep and it doesn't) I feel horrible , cried at work ( I've been at my same job for 32 years since June 1983 and so do not want to loose my job,she told me to go to the psyciatric ward but I can't just take off from work even if I'm crying )I feel angry , suicidal, hit myself ( I will call her tomorrow, I'm sorry for bothering you I'm just scared) one of the best Doctors is in her office but I'm scared to change, I don't want to offend anyone, or hurt anyone's feelings or hers. Ive had depression since 1995 and have seen other doctors who gave me medication that seemed to work somewhat better but they left and one other doctor over medicated me. I have a problem sleeping
to ( Xanax helped and I'm the one who told the doctors maybe I should change to something else and I which I hadn't it worked the best . Seroquel I gained weight and I'm on eszopiclone 2 mg and it doesn't work so sometimes I take diphenhydramine to sleep ( I have anxiety
) and learning disabilities actually when I was in school they put you in remedial classes, so I don't feel very smart and don't like myself . But I do LOVE , LOVE, LOVE animals!!! My best therapy!! I have to dogs , my babies!!! I'm sooo sorry this is soooo long!!!