Hi my names Peter,
I'm engaged to a woman who has a family history of Schizophrenia
. Her mom has it, and it appears her grand Dad too, though his story isn't clear as he died many many years ago. My fiancee is 25 and is in very good health. We have been dating for over 5 years and really are deeply in love.
My siblings have discussed with me concerning the risk of Schizophrenia, and have given me advice to break up the relationship because of her potential risk of developing schizophrenia later on in life. The disease from what i heard can really destroy/affect the life of family's who have a sick person and there is the potential risk of transferring such an ailment to my children (something personally that i would hate to see).
My parents have also given me the same advice of breaking up as we have a clean bill of mental health in my family and it would simply be unfair to bring such a gene in the family according them, especially passing it on to my generation.
My problem now is this, from the beginning of this relationship right up to the time I proposed, I never really cared so much about what they told me because I love her and still do till now. But now that I have proposed I have been tormented by fear as to whether I'm making the right decision.
I want a happy family life, I want a woman that I can hopefully grow old with and live a loving life with. This has always been my dream.
I have been asking myself if I do go ahead and marry her and later on in life she happens to get this disease would i be able to cope? wouldnt all my dreams and aspirations have been shattered? I'm not sure I could cope seeing her break down. That would really break my heart.
I read that there is about a 15% chance of her catching it, she did
also me tell she had a difficult childhood because of her mom's condition but in her teenage years she resolved to be positive about life and never allowed her mum's experience affect her.
Am I over worrying, am I panicking too much, is marrying her a potential risk to my family life. Should ignore the advice from people who I know love me and follow my instincts and take the risk?
Finally are they steps for preventing her from getting the disease. I'm confused I need your advice because most people i discuss this with are telling me to find a polite way to end the relationship. I dont want to live a life of regret that I didnt listen to my friends if (God forbid) I marry her and something happens.
And then my friends will be like I told you so. Im not a heart breaker too, I dont want to break her heart.