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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry that you are struggling with these severe symptoms, I can understand how distressing this can be. I am not sure why you believe a doctor will not help you or are considered "bad," because a psychiatrist will definitely help you if you believe you are suffering from psychotic and mood symptoms. A psychiatrist can provide you with medication that will start to work near immediately for your psychosis and anxiety, and can help lessen your depressive symptoms gradually, so if you go to the Emergency Room right now you will get properly medicated and these symptoms will lessen very soon for you. I know you are concerned about going to a doctor, but a psychotic disorder and severe mood disorders can only be treated with psychotropic medications and you can even request an injection to get a faster response to the medication and alleviation of your symptoms.