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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1372
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My ex and I are not together however we have a 21month old

Customer Question

Hello,
My ex and I are not together however we have a 21month old son together. She is in another relationship and just had another child. I Have my son over 70% of the time and I am very involved with my son. Just recently my son has been calling my exs boy friend dad, and when I have asked her about it she said that is what he has always been called, however she has never enticed him to call her bf dad. I don't believe her she likes to use our son as a pawn and leverage to me. Please help
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 11 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I understand this is a distressing situation for you and that you want help, but what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Is this going to confuse him and is she trying to hinder the relationship I have. Also does that need to be taught
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 11 months ago.

Given that you have your son 70 percent of the time, most likely this has been taught to him by either her or someone else who has access to your son. Now it is possible that your son may just think that all fathers are supposed to be called "daddy" or all males can be called "daddy," but that is usually not the case and even if it was his mother should redirect him and say that this person is not your "daddy" and instead you are his "daddy." Children at this age make mistakes all the time, but it is up to the parent to correct and redirect the child especially with important people in his life like his parents. So this is definitely going to confuse your son until someone redirects him and tells him what is proper and what is not.

Now if your ex is purposefully doing this than yes it is to hinder the relationship with your son and to confuse him even more, but at this point we cannot say if she is doing this purposefully or not. Either way this will be confusing to the child and she must start to redirect him to solidify you as the only father figure he has, just as much as she is the only mother figure

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
not satisfied
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 11 months ago.

May I ask what you are not satisfied with exactly since it appears that I answered your questions?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
this question is closed. not satisfied
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 11 months ago.

Well if you do not want to explain to me why you are not satisfied that is your choice. Good luck with you and your son

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