Welcome to the site.
I am sorry to learn about your predicament and i empathise with you since it seems like you are really struggling to keep afloat at the moment. Your negative outlook towards life and lack of hope for a better future speaks volumes about your agony and dysphoria that you are trying to cope with. However, having said that, I would like to encourage you to try to see and appreciate some of the things which have stuck with you for good but unfortunately have been sidelined and left unappreciated because of your emotional upheaval that some roadblocks and bottlenecks have brought up in your life, which you term as failures. Here I am talking about your partner and son who have supported you through the trouble times like a rock and I am sure there must be many more significant individuals who had gone out of their way to lend support t
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