I visited my son, daughter-in-law (out-of-state) and their young children on Labor Day weekend.
When I arrived, d-in-law was very angry and kicked son out of house. So I stayed in a motel with my son. He told me that he had been very wrong. He had had a 'relationship' briefly with a woman mostly by phone. (No physical affair.) He was sincerely ***** ***** the next 3 days, D-in-law would leave the house for several hours and we looked after the kids. She wouldn't speak to me. And yelled at my son a lot. I certainly understood that she was hurt.
On the last evening before I left, she swore and yelled at me to "get out of her house". I was so shocked and so sad
. Cried the next day at the airport. I felt that she was trying to cut me off from the family and didn't
want any contact again.
She had texted me that she would call.
When I came home, I simply tried to distance myself from the situation
but felt very hurt.
For her birthday, I sent her a card and a wish for finding peace.
I usually initiate most contact with son and d-in-law but I didn't.
After 3 months, I sent a 'neutral' e-m - hope you're feeling better,
Christmas coming, etc.
I then learned from son that she was very angry about the card and e-m.
And that I haven't 'supported' her during her darkest days. (BTW, she is very close to her parents. Frequent contact, phone, visits etc.) They reportedly have been giving a lot of support and I haven't. My son is disappointed in me.
I then tried to call, text several times to her but no reply. Indicated that I wanted to mend things. She finally e-mailed that she wanted no contact and that I was cold and cruel. (!)
What a mess! I need advice about how to manage sadness and get some sort of relationship back with her. This is of course hurting my relationship with my son as well.