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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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As my boyfriend cannot set the boundaries with s female

Customer Question

As my boyfriend cannot set the boundaries with his female friends and even had an affair with two of them - I have decided to start chatting to my male friends whom I was neglected because i thought it would be inappropriate.
He says he stops the texting, but I still have hard time to believe him and have a serious anger issues which damage our relationship. He deleted all the conversation before I could read them all (I have read only few).
Now I have moments where I become verbally abusive, when I recall his infidelity and especially when he refuses to answer my questions.
So today I was texting other men and it didnt feel like me, but maybe this is how I should behave - dont care so much and dont let him have all my attention?
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 12 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It sounds like you are only angry and "abusive" in response to how your partner treats you. Overall this sounds like you are just having a reaction to the situation that overwhelms you and that is why you have such strong anger during these moments. In regards ***** ***** texting of other men, it sounds like you want to reconnect with some of your male friends, but also you like that you are "getting back" at your boyfriend too given what he has put you through. I have to question why you want to be in this relationship given that he has cheated on you two times, so you do not trust him for good reason and also you do not appear happy with him because of the anger and frustration he brings about in you. Maybe talking to other men also made you feel good because it gave you a perspective that there are other men that would find you desirable and would treat you a lot better than how your current partner treats you. Either way, I would recommend re-evaluating this relationship and considering moving forward away from your current boyfriend

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 12 months ago.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

*Please do not forget to leave a positive rating at the top of the page so that I can get credit for helping you. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.