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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1372
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I have never doen this before. My husband told me two months

Customer Question

Hi - i have never doen this before. My husband told me two months ago that he doesnt love me anymore. We have had an awful 7 years with one thing and another, work, deaths in the family etc. Things were beginning to look better too and we were back to regular sexual intimacy etc. I found out that he had met someone 8 weeks ago and they are in a sort of relationship. He recently booked a holiday for him and I to get a break togehter and we had a lovely time together but when we came home he said he doesnt love me and doesnt see a future for us. I am heartbroken. We went a session for marriage counselling and it went well then when we went back for our first proper session (1st one was an assessment) we just didnt seem to click with the counselor. He doesnt see the point in going back as he cant see his feelings changing. I love my husband and want to knwo what I can do to regain his love.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It is not a matter of what you can do to regain his love as this is a choice only he can make. Just like you are the only one in control of your actions and feelings, he is the only one in control of his and that is something you are going to have to respect. You can be the perfect partner and do everything right in the marriage, but if he chooses not to love you and to break away from you that is on him and only him. You need to focus on what you can control and that is your own thoughts and actions, so maybe you should continue with the counselor as one session is not nearly enough to make progress on your marriage and see what materializes from there. Remember you only have to be yourself and do what you feel is best for you and the marriage; it is going to be up to him alone to decide to follow suit or not because you alone cannot repair this marriage, it will take both of you. If he is not willing to work on the marriage though than you are going to have to accept that and move forward from there, which may mean a separation or a divorce.