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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4506
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My husband of 5.5 years has left me woman. A woman from s

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My husband of 5.5 years has left me for another woman. A woman from his past that he thinks he loves. The affair has been going on since late July. In the beginning he lied and said he just didn't love me anymore, but then the truth came out a month later that he was having an affair. At this point, it does not seem like he is open for reconciliation because he is still involved with this other woman. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and stopped going to meeting over a year ago, then we moved out of state back where he was in active addiction and he started this fling with an old "using" buddy. He says he hasn't physically relapsed, but he meets all the symptoms of an emotional and mental relapse for sure. Should I wait around for him to come back? We had a great life until he stopped working his program and had this affair. He even confirms that part. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 1 year ago.

Greetings.

Welcome to the site.

I am sorry to learn about your predicament and i empathise with you.

You see if he has been actively taking alcohol and if this affair has started as a result of his impaired judgment owing to alcohol abuse then it is quite likely that he may come back to you once he starts getting sober all over again and subsequently regains his insight and judgment which will help him to realise his fault and force him to contact you. However, if he continues to drink the way he has been off late then no one can predict when he is going to come out of this trip of his. So, it is a precarious situation to say the least owing to his alcohol addiction, so with all honesty I would say that you shall give yourself a realistic time frame of weeks or months so as to wait for his return and if that does not happen then you should try to get past this relationship which will be difficult no doubt, but it will be the best decision for you at that time, since life has to move on, it cannot remain static for anyone. If he chooses not to return for the sake of this relationship then you should honor your self esteem and try to break these shackles of relationship and start thinking

about your own future and life sans him.. In case he returns to you then do not just become complacent and satisfied about getting back your man, in fact your task will become even more important there on as to keep him off alcohol and subsequently off other women since alcohol takes away his self control and makes him promiscuous as a result of which he derails from his righteous path.I hope this gives you some sort of perspective and direction to look into and also hope. Wish you all the best and hopefully things will fall back into place but this time please try to make a permanent decision for your sake and do not let him to treat you callously. Please kindly leave a POSITIVE RATING if you are satisfied with the answer.Regards

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