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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I am 43 and my husband is not sure if he wants children and

Customer Question

I am 43 and my husband is not sure if he wants children and is still jealous of my relationship with my mother . We have been married for 10 years.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello, I am very sorry that you are having this issue with your husband. Can you tell me what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have gone through depression because we have been married 10 years and he still is jealous of my mom and is not fully on board with having a child and has caused me stress as it has been a hard area to resolve .
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

I understand that this is a major issue and has caused you and your husband some distress from what you are describing. Remember this is a Q&A website, so what is your specific mental health question that you want an answer to as you have not specifically stated what your question is?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How can I deal with the sense of depression or stress this area has caused for 10 years
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question. I would definitely recommend looking into possible couples therapy as this may help you and your husband to form a compromise on these two issues of children and in regards ***** ***** mother because it is not enough for you to work on these two issues as he must also work on them to for resolution to occur. In your case of depression/stress over this, like I said I believe this will always cause you distress if your husband continues to hesitate on having children since it is important for you. And also if your husband continues to be hostile or jealous of your mother this will only cause you more stress and depressive symptoms; even if you went through therapy and mastered therapeutic techniques, it will only be effective for so long because the stressors of your husband's behavior will continue to be present. This is why it is so important for him to be part of the effort to change and form a meaningful compromise that you both can be content about. Try to use words like "we" and "us" to show that you two are a team and that you two need to work on these issues together for you both to move forward from them. Try not to point blame to him or accept blame yourself, but focus on you being a couples a unified construct and state that the union is in disarray and needs help to overcome these major issues. If you both work on these issues together than your depression and stress will lessen as you are getting some resolution of these major issues. But if you try to do this by yourself and just cope with your depression and stress than your husband will continue to behave in this way and eventually it will overwhelm you, no matter how much you try to cope because the human mind and emotional state can only take so much.

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