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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I am struggling with compulsive lying over stupid things

Customer Question

I am struggling with compulsive lying over stupid things that is causing my boyfriend of 4 years to not trust me and not want to be with me.
I want to stop compulsively lying.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I also take the lies farther when confronted about them. I always end up telling the truth but sometimes it takes awhile and I really drag it out.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello, I am very sorry that you have been struggling with this issue of compulsive lying, I can understand how distressing this must be for you. May I ask, have you considered undergoing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you understand the cause of this behavior and to help you stop it?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well, I know the general time when I began to lie and I can pinpoint that in my past, so no, but I do want to know how to stop
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Actually, I've been looking for a place to go, but currently I've only done some online counseling
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
but its not a specific (CBT) or anything like that I don't think?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Well as you know this website is not designed for treatment as it is a Q&A website, so to truly stop the behavior you may need to consider seeking therapy to help find different coping mechanisms that can be used to help stop the lying and help you find a better way to cope with stress or insecurities. Most people will compulsively lie because they feel it is an escape, so finding a different mode of coping can eliminate the lying. CBT therapy is considered the best form of therapy for this and most psychologists/therapists use this type of therapy, so I strongly encourage it for you. It will take time though, as therapy is a gradual approach and will not eliminate this lying behavior over night...it most likely will take at least a few months. Here is a good website if you want to try to find a CBT therapist in your area:

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/?tr=Hdr_SubBrand

Another technique you can try in addition to CBT would be a thought blocking technique...this is where you put a rubber band on your wrist 24/7 and everytime you get the compulsion to lie, you want to snap the rubberband. This will create a mild pain that will help you refocus your thoughts away from lying and in addition the brain will start to associate mild pain with lying and will passively try to prevent you from lying on a subconscious level as well.

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