Thank you for your more detailed description of your circumstances. I obviously cannot make the choice for you on if you should stay with this man or not; or keep the child or not, as these are decisions only you can make without interference from anyone. What I can say is that even if this man is abusive 5-10 percent of the time, that is still too much as he should not be abusive towards at all no matter what. Given the frequency of his abuse and his desire to not get attached to you in case you two divorce, most likely he will escalate his abuse over time and it will cause you increased frustration and emotional pain, unless he gets possible treatment for his issues. It sounds like you do not really want to marry this man, but you feel you must out of obligation or because you feel you have limited options due to not being a virgin and your age. The fact is that in Western Culture most people do not care if you are a virgin or not and also your age will not preclude you from getting married in the future as most people around your age put off marriage to focus on their career as this is quite common. Overall it sounds like you are forcing yourself to find reasons to marry this man even though there are numerous warning signs telling why it would not be in your best interest...like I said I cannot make the decision for you, but based on what you described it sounds like there is a good chance things will get worse the longer this relationship continues.
As for the unborn child, your physical and emotional health is paramount here, so definitely weigh the risks of a potential abortion with your physical health first. In addition, if you choose to get an abortion you must do so for yourself not because of this man. You have to decide on if an abortion is in your best interest for your overall well being. Also you can consider keeping the child and sharing custody with this man without marrying him as your only connection will be the child...this could be hard for you, but not impossible. Of course if you do decide to keep the child, you should know that this man's problematic behavior will be a factor in the child's development and may emotionally harm the child as well given the likelihood that his aggression and abuse will worsen as times moves forward.
I cannot tell you what to do, nor what is right here as what is right is relative to the individual. But I hope I at least gave you some perspective and insight on your situation to help you make a more informed decision. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
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