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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10585
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My boyfriend has an anger issue. He explodes about every 6

Customer Question

My boyfriend has an anger issue. He explodes about every 6 months. Says ugly mean things to me, punches himself in the head, punches the walls. does not try to control me in any way. he is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. clean for over 10 years. he has lots of regrets and shame about his past and his current limited relationship with his kids because of his past. How can I help him?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am very sorry that your partner is having these anger issues, I can understand how distressing this can be for the both of him. Remember now you are only his partner, not a mental health professional meant to treat him, so you should not look to yourself to help him overcome this anger issue as the choice to lessen his anger is up to him and he may possibly meed to seek the assistance of a true mental health professional. Is your current partner taking any psychotropic medications or willing to do so for the long-term? You mentioned that he was in therapy before you met him, do you think he would be willing to go back individual therapy to help resolve this occasional anger issue?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He was on heavy physc meds for a number of years including seraquil tripliptol but about 4 years ago he weaned himself off of them and takes no meds now.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Those are strong medications. What were his diagnoses?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
yes he is willing to go to therapy. so am i.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your responses. So I am not sure why your boyfriend was taking such strong medications, but they do suggest that he could have a Bipolar Disorder which could account for the anger issues coming about every few months as he shifts to a Manic state. If this is his diagnosis than he has to go back on the medications as Bipolar Disorder is the result of a neurochemical imbalance and that requires medication to help correct that imbalance. So you may need to talk to him about visiting a psychiatrist for proper medications. If he did not like the side effects of his last medication regimen, it may be possible to try a different medication regimen with less side effects.
If you and your boyfriend want to try to go to therapy (I think you would be going to help support him) it would be wise to try to undergo Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as these are the two best type of therapy modalities to help lessen his anger too. Also these forms of therapy help to focus on the present and not the past, so your boyfriend may be able to move forward if he undergoes one of these levels of therapy. If you push him to try these different treatment options and telling him that you want to be there with him every step of the way, he would be able to control his anger and possible feel more stable and at peace.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
*****Remember I only get compensated for my hard work through positive ratings, so I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE RATING using the smiley faces/stars. Thank you so much and it was my pleasure helping you with your issue.*****
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I noticed that you viewed my answer and I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?
*****Remember I only get compensated for my hard work through positive ratings, so I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a POSITIVE RATING using the smiley faces/stars. Thank you so much and it was my pleasure helping you with your issue.*****

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