It sounds like you may have a syndrome known as pathological lying which causes you to lie for the sake of lying and to receive secondary gain of attention and support. Usually individuals who lie like this will have a very low sense of self-worth and true depressive disorder
. The lying is a way to help the individual cope with their depression and to get others to care for them, show compassion, and overall attention. You feel guilty about the lies, but you cannot stop it because the depressive symptoms and feelings of loneliness and inner pain are too overwhelming for you. The good news is that there is a very effective treatment for this and it would be the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective, then your symptoms will lessen as well. So by using this specific form of therapy, it is going to help gradually build up your sense of self-worth so that you are more confident in who you are and it will help you to develop proper coping strategies instead of the lying so that you can process your depression and low self-esteem in a more healthy manner. Here are some examples of CBT techniques that you can use, but going to individual therapy will be much more beneficial for you
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping to lessen negative type thinking. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
You can overcome this issue with the right treatment and getting yourself into therapy where you are open to talk about this compulsive lying and your sense of self-worth will provide you with the starting blocks of your treatment. Overcoming this will not occur over night and it will take time, but it will happen. I know you do not want to lie to others and you are not doing it to be mean or hurtful, but you are doing it to protect yourself from others knowing how vulnerable you are. So by treating the vulnerabilities you will help put a stop to the lying.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
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