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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Why does lying have to be my onlychoice,I've told so many horrible

Customer Question

Why does lying have to be my onlychoice,I've told so many horrible things,lost my daughter and darling grandson,cos of it and now my best friend.I truly want to stop it,cant find another way to,please help Me!!!😢
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am sorry that you are having this issue, as it sounds like it is very distressing to you. It appears that there is some sufficient background of your issue, so I would like to ask you a few questions to get a better idea of what you are looking for, so that I can better assist you.
1. You asked "why lying is your only choice," lying about what exactly?
2. How long has this been an issue for you?
3. Have you been diagnosed with any mental health disorders, and if so what were they? And also are you currently being treated or have you ever been treated for any mental health disorders, and if so what is the treatment you are being given or were given in the past?
4. And because this website does not provide treatment, only information, are you willing to seek out treatment from a psychologist for your issue?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm on antidepressants,have been for over 20years,I have high anxiety issues,I've lied to my family,the worse,was when I told them I was dying!!,I'm so ashamed,I put on different heads to suit what different people require of me,its git to the point where I don't know who I am any more
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't want to hurt people that I love,so don't understand why I still do it,bot***** *****ne,I've lost the people I love,I'm worthless and I miss them all
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
And because you did not answer the last question...Because this website does not provide treatment, only information, are you willing to seek out treatment from a psychologist for your issue?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes,id do anything to get help and rid me of this life long prison
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your responses, please allow me 15-30 minutes to formulate my answer for you.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
It sounds like you may have a syndrome known as pathological lying which causes you to lie for the sake of lying and to receive secondary gain of attention and support. Usually individuals who lie like this will have a very low sense of self-worth and true depressive disorder. The lying is a way to help the individual cope with their depression and to get others to care for them, show compassion, and overall attention. You feel guilty about the lies, but you cannot stop it because the depressive symptoms and feelings of loneliness and inner pain are too overwhelming for you. The good news is that there is a very effective treatment for this and it would be the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective, then your symptoms will lessen as well. So by using this specific form of therapy, it is going to help gradually build up your sense of self-worth so that you are more confident in who you are and it will help you to develop proper coping strategies instead of the lying so that you can process your depression and low self-esteem in a more healthy manner. Here are some examples of CBT techniques that you can use, but going to individual therapy will be much more beneficial for you
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
http://psychology.tools/cbt-thought-record.html
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping to lessen negative type thinking. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
http://psychology.tools/decatastrophising.html
http://psychology.tools/what-if.html
You can overcome this issue with the right treatment and getting yourself into therapy where you are open to talk about this compulsive lying and your sense of self-worth will provide you with the starting blocks of your treatment. Overcoming this will not occur over night and it will take time, but it will happen. I know you do not want to lie to others and you are not doing it to be mean or hurtful, but you are doing it to protect yourself from others knowing how vulnerable you are. So by treating the vulnerabilities you will help put a stop to the lying.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?
If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you

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