I am a 46 yr old teacher, married mom of 2 teenaged boys. Dr. Z. ~ I am not sure if it's you online again. Sorry to burden you with the same story, but more details! My neighbors across the street are a married family with 3 kids ages 10-13. The man, Dave, is odd. He is my age, but I liked him as a neighbor and my family was always good to his in a neighborly way. I felt sorry for Dave as I knew he grew up in a bizarre home situation. Sad. We were the only neighbors nice to this family as they are rude and unfriendly. I overlooked their rudeness and always gave gifts to his kids at birthdays and holidays ~ they exchanged gifts with us, too. I always included the kids at my parties. We always loaned Dave yard tools he needed. Dave's brother, Bill, is a dad at the school where I teach. I met Bill 6 years ago when his child entered kindergarten. What a coincidence! Bill got my ear, and sought advice and favors from me to get his child ahead. I am a reading specialist so I deal with all grades K-5. I was happy to help. Bill appreciated me! He would blush when he saw me (crush?), but our conversations were always school related. Bill would email me now and then and praise me and thank me. When I would see him in the parking lot he'd beep and wave. IT FELT GOOD! I knew Dave and Bill had rough lives, and I was amazed at what a great dad Bill was being and how he was the opposite of Dave socially. I also thought it would bring me closer to Dave and family as I was "in" with his brother's family. I FELT IMPORTANT AND NEEDED. I also felt my husband and I would finally get some real couple friends. I don't have many friends ~ just acquaintances. Dave, bizarre as he is, got mad I was involved with his brother's family (jealousy)? For the past 4 years, Dave has gone out of his way to be a horrible and cruel neighbor. We haven't waved or spoken to him for 4 years only because he refuses to look at us. 2 years into me helping Bill, Bill backed off and his wife, Nancy, took over asking for school favors and free tutoring. Nancy and I became BEST friends. Nancy speaks broken English and is from another country, so when I emailed specifics on how to teach their children, I would cc Bill, as Bill is the one who did the HW. Nancy didn't understand a lot of what I was talking about! Three years ago, there was a fire at Dave's house ~ it was scary and alarming. I emailed Nancy and Bill and told them the family was in crisis, thinking I was doing a good deed, and Dave would want his brother's support. Bill STOPPED SPEAKING TO ME and told Nancy to tell me to stop cc'ing him on emails, and whatever goes on at Dave's house is none of my business. THE WHOLE STREET AND FIRE DEPT was at the fire ~ it was not a secret. I thought I was helping. I was crushed. Now Bill has very little to do with me. When he sees me. he turns away, The more and more I do for his kids ~ he says NOTHING. I wrote the most BEAUTIFUL recommendation to get his child in private school ~ he said NOTHING! Nancy thanked me, but Bill has seen me and knows my email add., but will not say thank you. It KILLS me. Question #1 ~ WHY DO I NEED THIS FROM BILL? I got the child entered in a nationwide scholarship. The child is a FINALIST due to my entry. We will find out next week if she wins, but again BILL HAS NOT EMAILED OR STOPPED TO SAY YOU HAVE BEEN AMAZING, THANK YOU! He USED to, but not anymore. Nancy asked me to go to the First Communion mass on Sunday, I was ignored at the church. I was so confused why I was invited to be ignored. At Communion time I walked up and smiled at them in the pew, Nancy acted aloof and turned her head on me. I was CRUSHED! I was HUMILIATED I was even there. I walked out after Communion. I later texted her and asked her if everything was okay, and she said yes, Dave and his family went to the church, too. QUESTION #2 ~ WHY DO THEY HAVE TO TREAT ME BADLY IN FRONT OF DAVE? Nancy hates Dave. I said to her "I am sorry Dave saw you treat me like that. I don't understand." Nancy said "I have had enough of your attitude. I am at work now, Have a good day." Nancy has treated me like this time and time again. Can you believe treating someone like this who has worked DAYS getting your child fame and fortune and a scholarship? It is so ungrateful. I got their child on the NEWS on TV! We don't know if the child is a winner yet, but to dismiss my feelings and say I have an attitude? I can assure you ~ I was humble and hurt, I do not approach people with attitudes. Nancy & Bill have the older child going to an exclusive middle school in the fall, but are currently in all sorts of school events. The director was impressed with them, and they've already asked her for favors. She told me how the woman and Bill have exchanged emails, how grateful they are to her, she's wonderful. What about me? HOW DO I MOVE ON? Why won't Bill recognize me? It is killing me.
I can wait for you.
I am miserable 75% in this friendship with Nancy and I am hurt that her husband stopped acknowledging me, but I care too much to walk away. I also constantly question if I should be feeling the way I am feeling. Is it Nancy's personality and she means nothing by it? Does Bill feel that Nancy thanking me covers him from having to say it, was she just busy at the Communion and not aloof? I hate that I doubt how I feel but I know I am so hurt and depressed.