My wife (filipino) and I (inidian) have been married 15 years (officially married 15 yrs ago by justice of peace), and later married with family present 11 years ago). Two sons 8, and 6 (autistic). Wife just decided to move out because she feels she deserves better. She says she doesn't feel loved, doesn't feel like an equal. Her biggest gripes: questioning her expenses, overriding her opinions, generally not showing her love and affection;
not want her to leave when she first suggested it two months ago, I told her why--kids, and lesser chance of reconciliation if there is physical separation. She stayed then, and we attempted therapy with two solo sessions and one group session. in the past two months ive slept in a separate room, and no intimacy. We've tried to be nice and civil, but from time to time we get into discussions about our relationship and why we are here now. Ive tried to show her gestures of love (flowers, a mix cd, gift card to spa), but she says while they're nice, they make her angry and sad
that i didnt do them all along. she says her mind is now hardened...
She also says when she decided to move out, she didnt think i would try or care to save the marriage. She says she has been thinking about separation on/off for a couple of years. Now she says shes even more confused, and it's "making her think" about it all. But she says she couldnt continue living together because the living arrangement is not allowing her mind to rest and come to terms with all the emotions she is feeling.
My question... what should i hope for in terms of possibilities of reconciliation? I plan on working on myself in order to address all those issues. I want her back, and I believe WE are worth saving.