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Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry to hear about these issues you are currently undergoing and I understand that you want to end you life in a respectable manner for this.
I would recommend going to the four states that allow for assisted suicide (Washington, Maine, Oregon, and Montana) and seek counseling there. Many of these places will allow for psychiatric treatment to help you come to terms with ending your life and planning ahead for it.
But other than that there are no states that can support this measure and if you do talk about it to a licensed therapist then yes you are correct they will hospitalize you
Most patients for assisted suicide actually suffer from depression. But if you want an online resource, that can be a way to go as well, let me pull them up for you
Many patients in these states do not just suffer from depression, but they suffer from physical ailments as well like your peripheral neuropathy and the patients are not concerned so much with the progressive physical pain, but the psychological impact. So that is why they are allowed to seek out physician assisted suicide or euthanasia in those states, but the process is long to help prepare the patient and see if that is truly the best course of action
Yes I am still here, I was just typing a lot
Well the online resources are not by professionals, these are by certain members of the community that feel these resources are appropriate and for information, but they will not give you an objective opinion
Well the issue is that it is against ethics and in some cases the law to promote suicide in this country, unless you are doing it face to face in those 4 states under certain restricted circumstances, but I am looking in the Netherlands currently that has the broadest physician assisted suicide laws in the world currently
So what exactly are you looking for, to talk to a professional about suicide and the process of it?
Well this is a good international website on suicide that shows the pros and cons of suicide, it does not take a position, and it does not give you access to a professional at this time. But it can give you information
There is one place that I know of where you can try to speak to a professional about this, but it is in German, although I believe they have some English speakers there.
This will take you through a process of suicide, but as I hear it is very lengthy
Have you tried online therapy?
That can be a way to do it with someone from an international place who most likely does not have the power to hospitalize you
Let me give you some website referalls
Well typically individuals with NPD do not seek to commit suicide though
So that may be anonymous for you
I understand you may be able to be more forceful with your therapists because of the NPD.
That is true NPD typically commit self-harm more than a suicide attempt, this called Narcissistic Injury
It usually occurs when someone with NPD's fragile self-esteem takes a hit and they feel too vulnerable
Anytime, and obviously I do hope that you change your mind about this, but I hope these therapists can help you
You are most welcome. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.