My son is married to a woman who is a loose cannon. She lies constantly and has put him in jail several times. He still believes every word she says and trusts her. We are at our wits end. What could be wrong with him?
I believe I can help you with your question tonight
I am so sorry that your son is in this situation and continues to be in this situation with his wife, I can understand why this would distress you
I would like to ask about your son's previous relationships and if he has ever been in a relationship like this before? Has he always been this passive and I guess I would say trusting of his partner when in a relationship?
Yes, he lets women rule. But this woman is a narcissist.
You read my mind, that was going to be my next few questions to see if she has traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
So because she has elements of NPD, your son is co-dependent on her and this is where he is so dependent on her that she can easily manipulate him and make him believe anything. This is very common in these relationships and unfortunately your son is a victim here. Here is a good link describing co-dependency in more detail
ok thanks. Is there any way to save him from her?
Yes there definitely is, and this is definitely treatable too with a high success rate, but he will need some therapy, primarily Cognitive behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help him learn that this is not a way he a relationship should work and to increase his own inner strength to help not be co-dependent on anyone. I would also like to recommend these books that can help too
If he will not seek out therapy then you can try a family intervention to help him understand why this relationship is hurting him
ok, I do everything in the world to help him, but when she's in the picture, he chooses her over me so I can't help him.
He will need to see for himself that this is a co-dependent relationship and that it is very harmful for him and that it cannot be sustained. You may want him to try reading the books to help him understand
ok, i sent him books in the mail about her being narcissistic, and she caused him not to speak to me. Can he get treatment for this while in jail?
Yes CBT is a very common treatment in jail, but he will have to tell the therapist or psychologist that he is co-dependent on his wife because she has a possible diagnosis of NPD, so that the therapist can accurately treat the issue.
ok, thanks a lot