I need some help. My boyfriend seems to be insecure and irrational about his thinking and its weird. I love him, but at this point its getting VERY annoying and Im a senior trying to graduate I don't have the time to just sacrifice on him like that, not 2-3 hours for a conversation that shouldnt even be happening.
I do know that:
1. He's been the same way with his other girlfriends
2. His mother died when he was 4
3. His dad and step mom gave him tough love
He's critical of others, tries to "suggest" to everyone what they should and shouldn't do. He gets angry quickly and for no reasons that I ever see that are rational. He expects me to drag whats wrong with him out of him instead of him speaking to me and telling me whats wrong. He doesnt give me benefit of the doubt like he should
1. went to a concert that my mom paid for for me , him and my best friend to go to and he was upset at the way I had fun. Said he felt like a regular dude while I was just another groupie girl. I did
NOTHING out of the ordinary. It was my birthday, it was my favorite artist, I tried interacting with him and he wasn't really receptive. I was dancing and singing and enjoying myself and afterwards he told me how he felt uncomfortable with how I was acting.
2. He told me how he didn't like me saying the word "love" to this male who commented on my status, it was a statement about a class Im taking and I said " Im taking the class at Spelman love". Now love is a general word that I use towards everyone whether I know them or not, but I simply said ok, I wont do it anymore. Then he proceeds to say Well I don't understand why you thought it was appropriate in the first place and I explained and then it turned into a whole 2 hour unnecessary conversation. I cant deal with that Im a senior in college and he is not, he has no job no car so he's always to worried about me waiting for me and all kinds of stuff. He doesnt seem to understand that we are two different people who handle life two completely different ways.
3. I was driving and he was speaking to me, after a couple of minutes he started speaking real low, I knew he was but I didnt think nothing of it. When we got close to where we were headed he asked me where I was going first and I told him, he then said so you werent listening to me, I then asked him well what did you say and he proceeded to get angry and say f**k it it doesnt matter. Later He expressed to me that specifically he was upset because I "skipped" over saying I didnt hear you before saying what did you say, so he assumed I was ignoring him. I don't understand how he just assumed I ignored him and didnt think "oh maybe she didnt hear me"
4. I invited him to my schools homecoming, we were having a good time and all of the sudden he was acting weird for about 45 minutes.. so we ended up leaving early, after asking him 3 time whats wrong he then tells me that he doesn't like how I act weird with my ex and I was trying to get his attention and he wasn't paying me no attention. Im all the way confused at this point because what he's talking about never happened. I asked him what my ex had on he said a jean jacket. My best friends cousin had that on so I then realized he mistaked my interaction with my friends cousin to be an interaction with my ex in which i did interact with my ex but clearly he didn't even notice because we just waved at each other. He thought I was weird when I was like staring at my friends cousin waiting for him to come say hi lol I always do that to anyone who would normally acknowledge me, i stare at them until they say hi or see me
5. I was texting someone on my phone and my phone was on a stool, and I kept going between my phone and where my boyfriend was sitting just answering texts, not sneaking or anything just going back n forth. He then TWEETS that he doesn't like when girls do sneaky shit on their phones
He's always talking about what he would and wouldnt do and I try to explain to him that we are two different people that do things two different ways, like if i grew up eating mangos and he doesnt like them he cant expect me to never make mango smoothies because he wont, Ill make him a strawberry one and I'll eat a mango one like... He cant expect me to change how I act because everything he had an issue with I've done in a previous relationship and had NO ISSUES at ALL.
We get into arguments way too often, he always has an issue with me and it always in my opinion involve nonsense.He claims that I don't try to talk to him or interact with him and I do and hes pessimistic, always preluding to him being upset, like he'll say "this better not be this way or ima be blown" and Im like why can't you just enjoy yourself. As you see sometimes when I try to take him somewhere he basically makes a problem out of none. Like its soooo draining and I have a little less patience because Im a college student.