Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation.
You're very welcome, this is truly overwhelming and very frustrating.
It's shocking to find yourself that the person you trusted this much has been this dishonest to the point of hurting you so much.
Your feelings were based on the role he played, leading you to trust him, attaching yourself to his words and feelings, to the expectations you created about him, and then facing reality this way is traumatic, very painful.
You have developed a very severe depression from this traumatic event, you were so vulnerable when you opened your heart and trusted this person, and finding out he was not being real, honest, is devastating, and that's why you are grieving this much.
Then this shows you how skillful he has been in his manipulation, being this dishonest, misleading you ad your heart all this time...
Absolutely,he tool advantage of your vulnerability from the very beginning , all this time and did not care to cause all this such pain now.
First you need to come to terms with the fact that the person you fell in love with does not really exist, that it's been an illusion.
There is no way to know for sure, only he knows why he has done this, but what you know is that he was all this time presenting this fake reality fueling your attachment and affection
You had no way to know, since he played this role so well, that you just believed him, his words and the consistent actions that followed, what shows he is an expert manipulator who knew very well what he was doing.
The best way to take good care of yourself since feeling this traumatized is through psychotherapy.
You have been mentally and emotionally traumatized by this overwhelmingly abusive person and his actions, and since it has happen this way, it has led you to feel this hurt.
Psychotherapy could be like surgery and rehabilitation process for you r body, applied to your heart and soul. Like when you get a broken bone,and need to stop walking, get treatment, surgery and then resting for it to heal and then for you to regain mobility and strength.
It would not numb you like a psychiatric pill, but allow you to truly vent, get real relief by venting your feelings, processing your experinece and learning how to cope with the impact from this painful situation
The healing process is painful, it is not like using instant anesthesia to numb the pain, it is real healing and that's why it takes time, but would allow you to get wiser and stronger from it.
It is tough, but necessary and absolutely worthy, you need and deserve to have your peace, happiness and hope back, around people who truly respect and deserve your trust and love.
Your support system, family and close friends need to play an active role here, it is very important
I am sorry to know about your losses. They explain even more why you have been more vulnerable and have suffered this much for this person's abusive actions
Please, you need to gently and consistently work on building and promoting a healthy support system, since it is essential for anybody,even more when tough life issues have happened
this is about you setting your healthy, happiness and well-being as number one priority in your life
Please do so,commit to this process,it is about you, your health happiness and fulfillment
it is not easy at all but you can do this and will find yourself transformed for better
Please commit to your healing process with psychotherapeutic support
I am and will be here to support you as possible too. You can do this and will do it with the right support
Sure I do, I work face to face and online too.
I am willing to support you with confidential psychotherapy online if you feel comfortable with my support.
Then we can try this for sure.
You do not have a subscription here correct?
Good, since subscriptions here s incompatible with this service.
This is the way it coudl work.
You would need to post a new question -request under the Relationship category -direct t to me -Rafael. I will receive it, and reply with an offer for a counseling session with necessary information
I will deduct the fee you would offer to pay for this new question from th e counseling session fee, for you to pay only the feel for the counseling session and nothing more
Sure it does. Instead of paying $90 for a one hour counseling session you would pay $70.
Do not expose yourself to him at all, that could only deepen the pain and your vulnerability to be manipulated and wounded even more, and that's the last thing you want to afford
He is like cocaine, thus you cannot rehabilitate fro him while you expose to him
Being this dishonest and then doing what he dis is absolutely insensitive and abusive for sure.
For sure he is, but not only selfish but the lack of caring and sensitivity, dismissing you feelings and the pain he was going to create are just shocking, incompatible with anything healthy or acceptable.
Please forgive yourself, since here you have been only a victim, while he has been an insensitive perpetrator that knew from the very beginning everything he was doing.
Now you need to become the best friend and partner of yourself,
This overwhelming life experience is showing you the need you have to work on the most important relationship in your life, which is the one you have with yourself.
By learning to truly understand, respect, love and support yourself in unconditional ways, you would be taking good care of yourself and life, and will not allow anybody to use, abuse , manipulate or neglect you.
The it is a unique chance for you to make further and very important improvements in your own journey.
This is about you learning to be unconditionally gentle, patient, compassionate and supportive with yourself, specially when facing tough challenges and painful experiences.
This very painful life experience, could become the most powerful and positive chance for self-healing and growth if you know how to approach it working on yourself with real commitment and caring.
Wonderful! Take your power back, for you to shape your reality the way you need and deserve, and you will not regret it for sure.
I will be here to support you as possible. Live online counseling could use audio and video conferences to make a real face-to-face session which could be as beneficial as a traditional session, with extra advantages around time, availability, expertise, communication and more.
Please feel free to let me know if you want to try it and we d work on it.
You're very welcome
Than you for being this open and honest here, for your trust. I feel glad and honored to know it was this helpful.
Perfect. Any inconvenience in the process, just let me know and we'd work on it, and hopefully we'd be able to schedule a first session when best for you.
Thanks. Take gentle care and bye for now.
(Remember to rate session. Thanks).