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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliot, Ive talked to you in the past and have a few issues

Customer Question

Elliot, I've talked to you in the past and have a few issues im dealing with lately.
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 7 months ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see you posted your question a while ago and it has not received a reply, it is now open to be answered by any available expert. Could you please let me know if you want to wait for other expert to reply, or if you would prefer to receive assistance now, since I am willing to support you as necessary.

Customer : I was going to wait for Elliot. No offense, but I've chatted with him in the past so.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem at all, that's why I asked.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I will leave it open hoping he could reply soon. Good luck.

Customer : Thanks. Sorry for any inconvienence.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's fine. Take care.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Thank you so much for getting back to me and waiting for me. That means a lot.

Working with that excellent workbood did start to help. It is like an plan to change behavior: we sometimes don't keep up the same level of the program. It is much like someone who is trying to quit drinking and usually stays with the program but sometimes "falls off the wagon".

When this happens, when obessive thoughts and compulsive responses begin to pop up, the best thing to do is to take note of it and go back to your exercises and work it out and work through the thoughts.

How are you managing the breakup? Are you having any more of what you call "glitch" thinking?

Howe does it make you feel?

It is not so much what your think, but how it makes you feel. I know you worry a great deal about having these thoughts or about the possibility that you may have these thoughts.

Let them pass through you or bounce off you. They are thoughts and don't have to change your life.

I know that there is more that you want to say about this, so I will look forward to your response.

Warm regards.

Elliott
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Hey Elliot, thanks for responding. I do feel a lot better lately, but I can't help the What if Spikes that seem to re-occur every time I think I'm "OCD Free". Like, I know and think everyone has some sort of OCD. Mine growing up was always, washing hands after bathroom or doing something in terms of cleaning before I eat dinner. Washed for 2 minutes and sanitized, etc.

This glitch thinking, as we've called it, seems to come and go and is on and off. I'm trying to rid myself of it for good, the What If' thoughts. They haven't "controlled or taken control of my thinking", but when they have the occasional spike, it ticks me off and usually excercising rids them after say 1hr. When they pass, I look at myself and think I'm crazy and ridiculous to even have thought this.

Any advise?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear friend,

You seem to be making positive steps. A person on a journey does not fret or get angry at themselves when the thought occurs that they have not yet reached their destination. Your on a path. Sometimes the going is easy but sometimes the passage is narrow or steep, or the weather is not favorable.

We all have obsessive thoughts. Perhpas you also had obsessive thoughts accompanied by compulisve actions (the handwashing beyond ordinary reason, for example.

You are getting ticked off when you realize that you are having compulsive thoughts. This is good because NOW they are not happening unconsciously. You have reached a higher level of awareness, and from this vantage point are in a better position to use the thought-stopping techniquest to slow them down.

I am so glad to hear that you are making progress. You are not crazy at all, but quite sane, and you are healing, day by day.

I shall keep you in my prayers for continued strength in moving forward and being in control of your thoughts rather then your thoughts controlling you.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Do you remember speaking to me about things a few months ago? I had the minor case of OCD and well , the embarrassing HOCD?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Yes I do. On several occasions
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Is it bad that I have these wierd thoughts occasionally? I mean, I know and always felt them as unnatural. But I did the techniques and exercising. Then thought really hard if this could be true and just couldn't see it when I had a spike. I only seek out women, but the anxiety I get time to time is not comfortable and it's more of a "what if" it happens.

I am being completely honest. This is occasional. The only reason I'm talking about htis is I went for weeks of not having a spike. And all of a sudden I'm getting them occasionally.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear friend,

You cannot always control your thoughts. It is so much easier to control your actions. There is a strong learned stigma about these thoughts that you have internalized, and so you react in a shocked manner when they occur.

Their may be times that you are feeling more sexual in general, and having a higher libido than usual.

At these time (which could be affected by diet, exercise, environmental influences) you will want to satisfy your urges which may be just general ones, but that opotion comes up and you react against it.

Accept your thoughts. You don't have to act on them. You seem to be able to exercise your free will and make choices and be able to live with those choices.

Do you feel guilty about the thoughts? Do you fear you will act on them? Do you want to act on them and then fear you will be unleashing more than you can handle?

I understand what you are going through and I a here to help.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Hey, Ellliot, no I do not want to act on them. All my life and to this day, I continue to pursuit women. When I have these unnatural thoughts, I just don't find them comforting and I don't want to act on them. When I'm calm and not having these spikes, it's all women I think about or the girl I'm dating and I'm as happy and confident and comfortable.

The HOCD thoughts are more of "What if " this happens. I know I;m not gay. I haven't, during my 25 years + of my life, Heck, I was a little devil trying to kiss my baby sitter when I was 7. (female). I think the break up after a long term relationship and being single and not finding the right girl/being rejected has brought up these Unnatural thoughts of "what if this isn/t meant to happen".
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear friend,

I understand that you are a heterosexual person who has that form of OCD known as HOCD. You do not have a history of "childhood gender nonconformity", but just have this true anxiety disorder, a form of OCD, and should be treated that way.

That means behavior therapy, and possibly, taking SSRI medications such as fluoxetine or sertraline (Prozac or Zoloft). You should be treated for OCD.

Here is an excellent article that tells you all of your options.

http://www.brainphysics.com/treatments.php

If these occasional intrusive thoughts are interfering with your life or preventing you from functioning to your full capacity because they are overwhelming you, then treatment is in order. If not, then an OCD workbook should be sufficient to help you.

People have obsessive thoughts that they will jump out of a window, or will purposely crash their carm, or that they will catch a fatal disease, or that they are gay, and it affects their lives a lot or hardly at all, but there is no basis for it.

Get the treatment for it if it is needed.

May God bless you.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
THanks. I don't think it's that bad. When you say "consumes my life" it doesn't affect my ability to work, go out, social abilitiy or functions. The work book did help a lot (almost a month with no spike). I just get the spikes. I guess I just have to let tthem bounce off my brain because when they pass I'm normal.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I'm also not sure you remember these conversations:

http://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/7wpsz-hey-elliot-i-ve-asked-question-regarding-previous.html

I don't want to seek medications. It doesn;t affect my job, social interactions, etc. I'm just trying to figure out why these thoughts appear.

I'm over my ex. Is it a lot to do with my friends are all in steady relationships/engagements at my age. I have failed in mine and attempts most recently? Trying to find a route.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear friend,

I reviewed our previous conversatoins and now I am up to speed.

You have asked a very complex question which cannot be properly addressed with a great deal of psychoanalysis to understand the nuances of your childhood and later experiences.

You are having thoughts that are somewhat loathesome to you and are not based on reality of who you are or what you desire. It is a way of putting yourself down or punishing you for other failures or inability to achieve certain goals.

The failure of your relationship, and of subsequent attempts to make a lasting bond is one issue that could cause you to have these thoughts that in fact serve to punish you for failure.

There are many psychological and biological factors may be involved in causing obsessive–compulsive behavior or obsessive thoughts.

It is likely that these thoughts could be reduced by increasing your self-esteem, because this may the be main stressor that causes these thoughts to appear.

Raising your self-esteem and self-confidence will also help you to move forward socially.

Please indulge me in one more workbook for you. Now that I have reviewed your material and talked to you some more, I believe that this book will be helpful for you.


Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem... by Fanning, Patrick and McKay, Matthew




I hope this can help to move forward to a more peaceful life without intrusive thoughts, and an improvement in your social life as well.

Warm regards,

Elliott

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