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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5213
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Two months ago i lost my first pregnancy. I havnt really been

Resolved Question:

Two months ago i lost my first pregnancy. I havnt really been myself since then. I am not.sad all the time but i get these tgings i call "sad attacks" where it just seems like every feeling comes all at once and i just cry and cry and alot of.the time i end fighting with my.boyfriend over small things that normally wouldnt matter. Last night he finaly had enough and we are now broken up… i feel like i need alot of attention and i meed him to cinstantly tell me im beautiful or that he loves me aand when he doesnt i get really upset. My relationship with my family is being effected as well… im very distant i dont.like talking with them and participating in outings like i ussually would. I dont know what to.do to get my feelings under control and to stop being so upset all the time. I really love my family and my boyfriend and i just want things to be how they used to be … please help
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 10 months ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry to hear about these circumstances with losing your pregnancy, your relationship, and these symptoms you currently have.

Dr. Z :

Right now you are going through an adjustment period of grief where these "sad attacks" occur at random times because your mental strength tries to cope with them and holds them at bay, but ever so often they become overwhelming and you cannot hold it in anymore, which is why these crying spells occur.

Dr. Z :

I definitely would suggest seeing a qualified therapist that specializes in this area of adjustment and grief, to help you through it. By the way this is a natural feeling you are having from losing your your child during pregnancy as anyone would be upset about this.

Dr. Z :

But I think the feelings are so overwhelming that therapy should be your top priority to help you cope with this loss and to help you take control of your feelings again. Therapy can help bring you acceptance from this loss and can help you become happy again and look towards the future for you

Dr. Z :

The crying spells, frustration, isolating yourself, and needing attention and reassurance are all depressive symptoms associated with grief.

Dr. Z :

Here is also a good informational handout describing grief and bereavement in more detail for you

Dr. Z :

I would also like to recommend these books as well to help too

Dr. Z :

I see that you are online do you have any questions or concerns?

Dr. Z :

Oh and this book is very good as well, it is not about grief specifically, but it is a good book with many evidence based techniques to help improve your mood

Customer:

I just still feel like i dont have answers on what exactlly to do, i know i have a problem but i wanted more of an answer on what i should do to get over thos besides more therapy. How ato go about my.life without losing my relationships and feeling alone.

Dr. Z :

Well there is no magic trick or one answer to achieving this. This is a gradual process and it will take time to go fix your problem and go about your life "normally," but I can show you some techniques that may help you. The best and most evidence based therapy for this is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen.

Dr. Z :

So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.

Dr. Z :

In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen those symptoms of grief that you currently have. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.

Dr. Z :

Also individuals with grief have a poor coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your symptoms better.

Dr. Z :

And because you seek reassurance and attention, that can lead to a poor self-representation of one's self, so this technique will help you replace any self-critical thoughts that you may have with more positive self-beliefs.

Dr. Z :

Now if you want a quicker way to adjust to these current issues, I can recommend some medications as well that can lessen the symptoms in as little as three weeks, while therapy is typically more gradual and takes months to be effective for you

Dr. Z :

But I will mention that these natural supplements can help improve your mood as well and they are very safe to take: St. Johns Wort, Omega-3, KAVA, Passion Flower, Glutamate, and Valerian Root

Dr. Z :

Still this will be a gradual process for you and there are no quick fixes to it

Customer:

Thank you very much, i will try anything if i can just be myself again you were very helpful

Dr. Z :

Well since you want to try anything, you can ask your physician to prescribe a medication called Lexapro at 10-20mg that is very effective in lessening your symptoms, fast-acting, and has minimal side effects too. It can help make therapy and these techniques more responsive for you

Dr. Z :

I am happy that I was able to help you today, I wish you all the best and I truly hope that these symptoms lessen soon for you. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much

Customer:

Sure will thabk you

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome :)

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5213
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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