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Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that your mother may be going through a depressive state currently
Has she ever been diagnosed with depression before?
how did you know? I'm still trying to explained what happened :)
I am an only child, dad passed away and I immigrated with mom 15 years ago to the States.
Well it was a lucky guess based on how you posed the question
Mom never met her mom so she made up by being the mom that sacrifices her life for her daughter
I recently got married
I lived with my mom ever before
now mom feels lonely and feels that her job is done
it worries me because she has health conditions, before she was able to overcome them and be strong to be with me, now I am afraid that by feeling that she doesn't have a purpose that she will not be as much of a fighter
what can I do to help her still feel important
she speaks broken English, doesn't have a job and spends her day on facebook and youtube, and skype with relatives back home
May I ask does she live near you currently?
That is good, that makes things a bit easier. What you are describing is called "Empty Nest Syndrome," and is an adjustment period of when the children or child leaves the home and the person feels that they no longer are a parent anymore and this causes them to have depressive symptoms and also feel lonley
she was never diagnosed with depression and she never admitted to have depression I don't think she really ever had depression before, she is funny and strong and gives strength to others but I feel like she's been admitting to feeling depressed more often recently
Try to include your mother in activities 1-2 times a week like dinner, going to the movies, etc...Also when you decide to start having children, she most likely will offer to take care of her grandchildren, so that will help her too.
I think she is having a diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood, due to being alone.
Another thing you can do is to have her connect with other members from her community so that she can socialize with others of her age and possible ethnic background as well.
I wish I can help her find a purpose in life, other than me
And then there is also therapy with someone once a week, so that she can talk to someone on a regular basis about her feelings and form a therapeutic relationship
Well most people do find their new purpose once the children leave the home, so most likely your mother will be fine and snap out this depressed mood, it just takes some time to adjust
i hope so, she says that the toughest part is when she wakes up in the morning alone at home and finds no one to talk to
So while your concern for your mother is very caring, most likely she will be fine. If you invite for certain things on a regular basis this will help her feel that she is wanted and has a purpose
I understand that and it is tough. The local community center has great senior living classes to help socialize and do activities, so your mother may like this as well. I know you mentioned that she has broken English, but if it is possible for her to socialize with others, i think it would be very beneficial for her
hmm senior living classes? I didn't know about that
Yes, most local communities have them
They do arts, crafts, knitting, bingo, socialize, dancing, yoga, etc..
how do I find them? do I just look for a senior community nearby and ask them what activities they have?
Yes look for a Senior Center, is what they are often called, and they have a lot of programs and classes that are meant to be enjoyable.
They should be on the internet so you can pick and choose I believe
that is helpful
And of course, there are many therapists that specialize in this area as well, so it does not hurt for your mother to talk to someone to help process her feelings and loneliness too
I can recommend a therapist in your area for her if you like?
if she agrees to :)
Sure, what is your zip code?
Okay give me a couple minutes to compile a list for you. And while I am looking, what language does your mother speak besides English in case I find a bilingual therapist?
Okay I will try to see if there is one around that area that can speak Arabic as well
ok thank you
Okay, so I could not find any therapists in your area that speak Arabic, but these therapists are qualified and specialize working with elders and with depressive symptoms, so I think they can really help your mother if she chooses to see one.
I will check them all out then
so therapist, senior activities, regular activities with me, anything else?
Well she can also start taking Natural Supplements called St. Johns Wort and Omega-3 (Fish Oil) as these are beneficial for mood symptoms
But I think this plan will definitely help your mother to feel more wanted and needed too
Which will help her overcome these depressive symptoms
she takes fish oil but maybe not enough dosage? how much should she take?
I really appreciate it I feel that I have a plan now
Well you really want something with around 300-350 EPA and 200-250 DHA in the Fish Oil and twice a day is good too
thanks Dr. Z I appreciate it a lot
Anytime, I always happy to help and I hope your mother starts to feel better soon. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much
yes will do thanks again