How are you doing?
some stress and anxious. stared Yoga today
Yoga is good
Why are you anxious?
well... yesterday she worked and i did not hear from her, called her and she called back but I missed the called, I p,ay phone tag for a few hrs. finally txt her and nothing
so late at night she told me that she was sleeping and had a bad hedache, so imediately I called back and no answer. so I asked if she was home and nothing
so this morning when "she woke up"
she say, no shit, home, you could had come and check that the car was there
when in fact I did go and knock on the door and she did not answer, its a small place where shes at, and the door is basically in from of the bed, so I really find it really hard for her not to hear the knock
I came home, after waiting for a bit..
So, thats why, my mind races thinking
shes probably with some one that pick her up?
and again this is my negative though
we talked about this you and
This is your negative thought, remember her symptoms are to severe for her to be dating others and you trust her too, so you have to stick to that and take what she says at face value. Also the medication she has can knock her out where she is in a deep sleep
yeah.. thats what I though.. Dr Z Honestly I was worry.. not trying to justify my though
I know you were worried
thats why i went but when the door was not answering that is when my mind stares racing
I know, but remember the letter that you are writing for her, that is the woman you want to trust and if you cannot trust her than is that fair to her?
no its not.. I understand
talking about that.. she liked the card and the flowers... we huged and I told her I care for her and love her and that im looking forward the future
Also, we been.. getting "close" cuddeling, but she seems cold you know..
Well that is sweet that she liked the flowers and the card. She may be cold because of her headaches and she can only do a limited amount of physical intimate activity
tomorrow is the appointment and were going together
That is good!! What about therapy tomorrow?
I reschedule because the appointments overlap
I did not see him this week also
That makes sense, I just wanted to ask
yeah.. thats why. but as u can see, I also look at another ways by doing yoga
whatever it takes, to help me. I dont kow what u think but I think my progress is good.besides yesterday
I think your progress has been really good, you should be proud of your progress and even your girlfriend notices, so that is good. Just keep thinking objectively and not let the anxiety control you
she also told me the days she was going back home.
To see her family?
as a phicologyst do you take your dreams in count? or nothing to do with it?
I asked you because my therapist asked me
I personally think that they are nothing to account for. We go through 5-6 REM cycles in a full nights sleep, so that means we also have 5-6 different dreams too. In addition, there is no way to objectively measure what a dream means because we have no frame of reference, so basically it is just people making subjective statements on the meaning of dreams which is basically like guessing
It is pseudoscience by most accounts
got it. I had one, thats why I asked.sometimes Dr Z I feel as is im on a longterm relationship
and one of my problems that I identify if my expectations are diferent then her acctions and that is when my mind races
Do not take dreams too seriously or literally, just stick to what you do understand and have control over. I know, but you have compromise a little bit with your expectations to meet her actions and she should do the same as well
so are you saying she should meet me half ways? because I have express to her this a few times
like the txt and not answering for long hrs drives me nuts
also when I asked her to call and she does not and txt
Yes meeting halfway is good, but do not forget that in her medical state with the migraines, you may have to give a little more to help her until she heals
I mean, Im tryinh to go out to places with her, but ither she is tired, work or hedaches..
Im hoping she is seing that im trying
I know, and hopefully it will get better for the both of you because she cannot sustain herself if she continues this routine, the stress will be too much for he
thats what im afraid of..
one question I have Dr Z is why is she with me after what we being thrue and what she goes thrue, stress, work family etc
Well truthfully I think she loves you and wants to make it work
That would be my best guess
I been asking my self when MI gonna meet the brothers at least// I dont know if its a good time to asked her that. remember the culture stuff. but also her brother (1) knows about me
the other question I have is : should I asked her where does she think this is going and what can I do?
I would say wait until her headaches heal and you and then you can ask her about meeting the family. And no, we talked about this before remember you asked a similar question a few weeks ago, if you ask again she will think that you are being passive-aggressive and insecure.
I dont think I asked her tho
maybe in another way..?
sometimes I wonder about what you told me " her hedaches does not let her be the GF she wants to be"
I thought you asked her in a very similar when you both had a very deep talk a few weeks ago
I think she wants to be a better girlfriend to you, but her headaches prevent it
I asked her " if things where ok between us"
man, I been told Im a patient guy
Yeah I remember, this would be a similar question if you ask her "where do you think this is going?"
Just continue to be supportive and lets wait to see what happens with the neurologist
I will.. Im worry about the appointment tomorrow but im hoping is going to be something thats gonna take care of it with meds
tumor.. etc u know
I hope it will be something minor and something that can be easily treated too
yeah, thanks Dr ZIs there anyway I can contact the cal state to have a appointment w u? or no? just curiost you have done so mutch for me, that it really means alot to have a personal sesion and shake ur hand.
That is very kind of you, but actually my referrals are usually for forensic purposes or victims of crimes as well, that is why I work for the state. One day though when we get the video chat working on here, we can try that :)
that would be sweet!But take those words,come from the heart man.
You are very kind, I am just happy that I am able to help you :)
I will let you go and I will keep you post it.Thanks and God Bless you
Definitely let me know how it goes tomorrow. I will be praying for your girlfriend during her appointment. God Bless :)