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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this frustrating situation.
Yes very difficult
I know what you mean but only you know how it feels, really tough to be in your shoes
Specially because you were already very vulnerable when you looked for professional support, and this very good match did the job very well.
Rapport is the term we use to describe this core empathetic and deep connection between a therapist and a client,a nd for sure, without it, no significant therapeutic work could develop
For how long and how often have you been working with your official (2nd) therapist, and what has she told you about it?
Not to long ago
While I wait for your reply, I could say that it is obvious you have felt very connected and identified with your first temporary therapist, that it was working for you, and that having to end sessions with him to start therapy with your official therapist was a real challenge, but it has become very overwhelming.
You spent 5 weeks with the first therapist and felt this comfortable. I do not know how much time have you worked with the female one, but time is a key factor too. What you think the male therapist had that made it work so well, and what is missing with the female one?
Could you tell me what was the main reason leading you to look for therapy and what is the main goal of your treatment plan?
it has nothing to do with him being a male.....I was with her for 1 time. She had some personals problems so she hat to take off
now the connection was three because he understood me so well
i don,t know
i guess people are different
and I have have prayed to god to find somoene that could help me with my problem
I see, then her personal problems interfering with the session was a real problem, but it was too the fact that you did not meet but once, which as I said, is a core factor too.
andproblem and I found out
Could you please tell me more about your problem?
And how was the first therapist supporting you with it?
imimam an eating disorder
been dealing with this for 20yrs
I see, eating disorders are truly serious and touch addictions, I am sorry to hear that.
and since started with him the purging. Decreased a lot
That's a long period of time, I cannot imagine how frustrating and hard it could have been for you to live with this disorder for this long
I see, it's very frustrating indeed. The first thign you need to do now is to discuss with your therapist if there is any chance for you to have the male therapist as your main therapist.
yes just god knows what I have bee thru
but I do want to get better
im fighting with it
and this therapist could see how much I wanted to get better
What you have described here since this happened does show you are very depressed, then it is very serious, obviously the change triggered this depressive episode and you need intensive support.
he made me realized that in order for me to be free from my eating disorder I have to love myself
changes were happening in all the sessions with him
i don,t know anymore
extremelydown extremely sad
feltsad felt rejected
Now, the best you can do is to discuss about it with your therapist, to ind out if there is a chance for this change to be implemented. If it is, perfect, but if not, you would need to give it the time to build this connection and see how well or not she could help you. One session could not be enough to know about it at all, and if after working for a while you come to therms with the fact that it is not working, regardless of necessary adjustments that could be implemented, then you would discuss being transferred to another therapist.
Did he reject you in any way?
No that way.....I was never meant to see him but because the first one had some persona problems he replaced her
If he did not reject you, then it would be clear that what you are experiencing is not because of this change, but core issues from your life being triggered by this change, since there was not rejection from this person, but you feel this way and got this depressed. This is not uncommon at all to happen in therapy, it is known as transference, clients identify with therapists, or project on them feelings they have/had for other people in their own lives, or what they expect to experience in real life.