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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I was seeing a therapist for a limited time until the therapist

Customer Question

I was seeing a therapist for a limited time until the therapist that was meant to treat me could see me. Now in the time that I had in the first one I had a great treatment, that was a strong connection ,I felt this person was everything I was looking for my recovery. He made realized lots and lots of things and therapy was getting more productive every time that I would see him. Now I spend 5weeks with this person and I felt so happy, I had joy in my heart because I found exact ally what I was looking for. Now I have no feelings or anything for this therapist it is just this strong connection and I do like him as a professional nothing else.....now the time that I had limited with him finish..... It's been a week since and everything just turn around.....I don,t feel the same way about the second one. I have been extremely down very depressed I don,t want to keep going on therapy I spent 3 days in bed, I did not wanted to talk to no one in other words all the beautifully work that I dis with the first was washed away completely. I feel very angry, upset and honestly give up on everything.....I know there are millions of therapists out there but my question is this. Isn,t true in other to have a great treatment to connect with your therapis? Because I don,t have that connection with the second one and I don,t want to see her.....what is your best advice?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about this frustrating situation.

Customer :

Yes very difficult

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I know what you mean but only you know how it feels, really tough to be in your shoes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Specially because you were already very vulnerable when you looked for professional support, and this very good match did the job very well.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Rapport is the term we use to describe this core empathetic and deep connection between a therapist and a client,a nd for sure, without it, no significant therapeutic work could develop

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long and how often have you been working with your official (2nd) therapist, and what has she told you about it?

Customer :

Not to long ago

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

While I wait for your reply, I could say that it is obvious you have felt very connected and identified with your first temporary therapist, that it was working for you, and that having to end sessions with him to start therapy with your official therapist was a real challenge, but it has become very overwhelming.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You spent 5 weeks with the first therapist and felt this comfortable. I do not know how much time have you worked with the female one, but time is a key factor too. What you think the male therapist had that made it work so well, and what is missing with the female one?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you tell me what was the main reason leading you to look for therapy and what is the main goal of your treatment plan?

Customer :

it has nothing to do with him being a male.....I was with her for 1 time. She had some personals problems so she hat to take off

Customer :

now the connection was three because he understood me so well

Customer :

i don,t know

Customer :

i guess people are different

Customer :

and I have have prayed to god to find somoene that could help me with my problem

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then her personal problems interfering with the session was a real problem, but it was too the fact that you did not meet but once, which as I said, is a core factor too.

Customer :

andproblem and I found out

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me more about your problem?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

And how was the first therapist supporting you with it?

Customer :

imimam an eating disorder

Customer :

been dealing with this for 20yrs

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, eating disorders are truly serious and touch addictions, I am sorry to hear that.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Tht'

Customer :

and since started with him the purging. Decreased a lot

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That's a long period of time, I cannot imagine how frustrating and hard it could have been for you to live with this disorder for this long

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, it's very frustrating indeed. The first thign you need to do now is to discuss with your therapist if there is any chance for you to have the male therapist as your main therapist.

Customer :

yes just god knows what I have bee thru

Customer :

but I do want to get better

Customer :

im fighting with it

Customer :

and this therapist could see how much I wanted to get better

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What you have described here since this happened does show you are very depressed, then it is very serious, obviously the change triggered this depressive episode and you need intensive support.

Customer :

he made me realized that in order for me to be free from my eating disorder I have to love myself

Customer :

changes were happening in all the sessions with him

Customer :

i don,t know anymore

Customer :

im down

Customer :

extremelydown extremely sad

Customer :

feltsad felt rejected

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Now, the best you can do is to discuss about it with your therapist, to ind out if there is a chance for this change to be implemented. If it is, perfect, but if not, you would need to give it the time to build this connection and see how well or not she could help you. One session could not be enough to know about it at all, and if after working for a while you come to therms with the fact that it is not working, regardless of necessary adjustments that could be implemented, then you would discuss being transferred to another therapist.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Did he reject you in any way?

Customer :

No that way.....I was never meant to see him but because the first one had some persona problems he replaced her

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If he did not reject you, then it would be clear that what you are experiencing is not because of this change, but core issues from your life being triggered by this change, since there was not rejection from this person, but you feel this way and got this depressed. This is not uncommon at all to happen in therapy, it is known as transference, clients identify with therapists, or project on them feelings they have/had for other people in their own lives, or what they expect to experience in real life.

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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
1851 Satisfied Customers
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach