Hello there! I'm uncertain if You're working tonight,however I wanted to introduce myself to you. I was going to a counselor, however due to insurances she was forces to close her practice. She was incredible and I could talk to her about anything. I need to find someone like that again. I'm hoping that's you! Michelle
Hi, Michelle! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
The system says you went offline, so I'll wait for you to get back, okay?
Hi. If you type a hello, then I'll know you're here.
I'm online. I have most of my issues at work, but of course thank G-d it's Saturday!
I have some health issues and I had issues with my fiance. I am overweight and want to have a gastic bypass
not sure if I can
You said you're looking for a new therapist. Is this online? By Skype?
Not sure...all I know if I dont have one. I'm quite partial to chatting
I know chatting is hard because of lack of voice inflecition
So, you'd like to have an ongoing internet therapy?
I have to be honest., I've never had a male therapist. It doesn't bother me, I've have never had a male.
Well, hello then!
an on going internet therapy
the last therapist I had locally was so great
she was forces to close her practive because of insurance
Okay. We can chat here for a while. This forum is not meant for a very long chat; it's based on a question/answer premise. But we can be on for a while, enough
for you to see if you want to explore online therapy
or if you'd like me to share some directories with you for finding another local therapist.
Or would you like to just find a local therapist to continue your work face to face?
It's very hard to click with someone
I want to find it here
is it generally skype
Well, then, let's get started.
You have a few options here. We can work together via our site called pearl.therapi.com. for example
the link to me there is
Is it like a video chat
and there you will have a few options on how to work with me. Skype is a good option, or we can also chat, similar to here.
You know, after we finish our chat here, you can click the link and just explore, okay?
For now chat is good because my boyfriend is here. Plus you can hear my backgrough
And then, you can always reach me back here as well in this format.
So, let's get started: share with me what you'd like while we're in this chat, okay?
i didn't even know this format was on here
What do you mean?
I am new to this and didn't know chat was an option
Well, it's based on you asking a specific question, because it's not meant for an extended chat; that's why it can be such a low price. Does that make sense?
yeah....I have the free anyway with a monthly price
Right, and because in mental health people want to often ask a follow up question, they regulate it: you only get that free question once per month, so here we are!
Go ahead, share with me why you've been in counseling and we'll try to make the best use of this time, okay?
ahhh I see
Lots of reasons....low selt esteem, many bad relationships. Mom passed away three years ago...hit me VERY hard BAD issues with my daughter. My BF just got out of REHAB.
Ihate my job I hate my body. I feed my emotions
My sister and I had a relationship until my Mom died.
My 81 year old Dad hardly talks to me now since my Sis moved to Florida to take care of him
I see you're typing, so I'll wait
I was with Mom when she dies and my sis wasn't do I think this is payback
This is a lot that you're trying to sort out. I see what you mean that you eat emotionally.
sorry, there's just years of things. I can't be around drinkers...I was abused m=by Exs that were. That's why my BF went to REHAB he had to if he wanted me. I was raped at 16. I was married 4 times and I still believe my prince charming is out there.I wont allow anyone to tell my that there isnt
It's clear that there are a lot of emotions flooding you
I have terrible anxiety. I am on Cymbalta and Lamectal
Klonopin bedtim and when i need it day time
Have you been treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
I love chuck and we want to get married but I'm scared so we're waiting
no just depressioin. I go to a phychiatrist. I cry everyday at work because they bully me. I'm hard or hearing and they tell me that i'm too loud and i can't help it
I am concerned that you have been treated for depression as if it's independent of your rape
I have asthma, aleep apnea (prob weight induced)\
and I'm also concerned that there has been no linkage made between your hanging on to abusive men and the trauma you suffered. What do you think?
it was so long ago I dont even think about it anymore. I've been to therapy for that and I'm ok with that really
that i've been told. The men I tend to go for are abusive to some degree. Chuck isn't . He was verbal when drunk but now that hes sober he treats me like a princess
I am afraid a lot that the other shoe will drop though. I used tohave toplay detective where he was hiding the booze . He smelled like it and would lie all the time
so far everything has been great
hes been clean since Sept 27
I'm sorry, I'm longwinded
That's fine, it's not longwinded, really.
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my Mom is gone too
I understand that you've had treatment long ago for the rape, but emotions seem very overwhelming to you, is that true?
3 years...its getting a bitbetter. I have good memories finally but i found her gone so it was so hard to think of anythng else
So, being emotionally overwhelmed hasn't been your whole adult life, just recently because of your mom?
No, really it's been a lot of my life. Mom and Dad got divorced whe I was 13. That was hard too. Dad was cheating on Mom for years. Dad was pretty abusive to todays standards.
ALWAYS low self-esteem
left home at 19. Always though sex was the only way to keepa guy
Yes. Now let's focus on the emotional overwhelm here for today, okay?
embarrassing talking about this to a man
Because you are describing very classic symptoms.
You know, I've had so many people share so much of their lives with me,
it's a question of whether it's too uncomfortable for you.
But my sense is
that your "depression" is not really what is at the heart here.
Your relationship with your own emotions has been very difficult and not healthy, if I can use such a phrase. Does it make sense phrasing it that way?
people have relationships with their own emotions?
Ot am I not understanding?
For example, your relationship with your emotions is very conflicted.
Sometimes you try to push them down,
sometimes you can. And they leave you in peace for a little while.
Sometimes you can't and they overwhelm you.
When someone, like Chuck, is treating you nicely, then you can relax for a little while.
I;m a very outgoing bubbly personat work...well whenpeple aren't making me feel like shit...oh can I swear here?
But otherwise, you're in a continual battle with your own feelings.
Right. When we are very dependent on other people to make us feel good,
then we are always at their "whim" because we've given them power to make us feel bad about ourselves very easily.
Yes true. I do depend on others to make me feel good. I've beentold that. That;s why I enjoy havpng a man in my life although I do love Chuck and boy is he handy
That's what I mean that my concern is that depression is not the basis of the problem.
My concern is that you are not comfortable with your own "self", with your own emotions.
And regulating your emotions is tough for you.
And you therefore rely on other people's behavior toward you
to regulate your feelings about yourself. Does that make sense/
I'm sorry, sense?
People generally like me...especially the technicians (the lower ranked folks) at work. I get a lot of awards and thanks fro them
That's beautiful. What therapy's goal could be for you, though, is for you to like yourself, not just the technicians liking you. For you to like yourself. What do you think?
yeah and when Chuck was in
REHAB, I was feeling ver independent and happy and I was liking me
I dont think it has to do with chuck though
I really hate my jobthey make me feel bad abut me and I hate NY
I feel best about myself when I accomplish things
So that would be my recommendation for therapy.
Working on learning to actually LIKE yourself!
Maybe even feel good about yourself without having it based on accomplishing anything
but just being YOU.
What do you think?
I can try
I wonder, though, if finding a therapist to work with locally wouldn't be best?
If not, I'd think working via Skype would be better than internet chat like this.
where are you
skype is ok ive done it
I'm in Denver.
The link I gave you,
has Skype as an option.
Wow...far. I love colorado!
is that separate money
Well, we need to close up here. But again, the key, from everything you've told me is not a "mood" like depression or anxiety. Those are coming from your insecurity and most importantly, from your not feeling positive about yourself. Which makes you super sensitive to things other people do. ]
any therapy would not be part of this site's subscription.
But, what do you think of my suggestion for the focus for your next round of therapy?
oy I can't afford any more money
So, then, you're not ready to find a therapist in NY either, then, right?
I have insurance
Good. Then you need to find someone in NY.
yes I do
But when you do, maybe you can print out some of what we've written?
And use it to begin your new therapy?
Thank you Mark, Have a good night
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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ok, thank you so much for your help
And you can always ask another question (though if it's within a month you'll have to pay separately) and write "for Dr. Mark", okay? If you could give a positive rating before you leave, I'd be grateful.
All the best, XXXXX XXXXX