I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that you are having this issue currently, I can understand how that would be distressing for you.
I would like to ask some questions so that I can get some more information, so that I can better assist you
Are you in a new relationship at all?
Under any new stress?
And when you masturbate do you finish quickly too or is there no difference than before?
yes i am in a relationship and no stress at all
So most likely this is a psychological cause, but it is usually wise to rule out physiological causes when this becomes an issue, like you have described. Some physiological causes are typically hormones, thyroid levels, issues with the prostate, issues with the nerves associated in the penile area. Going to your medical doctor or a urologist can help rule out these possible organic causes, but like I said this is most likely psychological in nature.
The usual cause for what is clinically described as premature ejaculation is anxiety. This is related to performance level and your attraction and arousal with your partner. This occurs very often in the beginning of the relationships for most men, so this is common
okay i don't know what to do are there any tips you can give me?
will this pass over time?
Some techniques you can use to prevent this is to try to focus more on foreplay in the beginning to give yourself time to not think about this issue, the use of a light numbing agent on the penile region can help, and this can be prescribed by your doctor if you like. Viagra and SSRI antidepressants can also prevent this issue too if you want to go with that route.
This typically does pass in time as you get used to the relationship and your partner more
this condition started 2 like months ago. i don't really want to be taking any medication though
my relationship began about 5 months ago
Other techniques is the stop and go method where you masturbate to the point right before orgasm, stop, and then do it again. This will strengthen the muscles in that area to prevent premature ejaculation from occurring
You do not have to take medication, I just want to give you all your options
okay i tried the stop and go method but right when shes about to climax im about also and stop then she dosent like that
Another technique that has worked for some people is called a "cock ring" which is something you put around your penis to keep the blood in longer and prevent you from achieving an orgasm too quickly
before, it took me up and hour or two before i felt any climax. will these methods make me feel the same way as before
how long can this take to pass
Well I think you are very sexually aroused by your partner and enjoy sexual intercourse with her a lot, so that also makes your orgasm more quickly with her. And as you get more used to her and the sexual intercourse, usually this issue will pass on its own. Typically the longest it takes someone is 6 months for it to pass, but that is the absolute longest in most cases
sorry when i do masturbate it feels about the same as before
But the more you think about it the more anxiety you will have about this issue, which is why I recommend longer foreplay to help you
If masturbation feels like it did before then that shows that this is most likely anxiety and an enhanced sexual arousal for your partner, which is a good thing in many respects
so i just have to clear my head?
This will most likely pass for you. If you still have this issue after 6 months then you may want to see a possible Sex Therapist that specializes in this. Or since you do not want to take medication, I would like to recommend a natural supplement called St. Johns Wort that may be able to help you
Yes clear your had would be good, this is anxiety and you are thinking about it more and more, so that is causing you more anxiety...and it just goes in a vicious circle
what those st johns wort do
St. Johns Wort works like the SSRI medication I mentioned, only to a lesser degree, so it may help you with this premature ejaculation issue
what can i do to clear my head? i do think its enhanced sexual arousal i didn't feel as aroused as before
where can i find this supplement
Well I do have some anxiety techniques that I can show you if you like. To help clear your head. The St. Johns Wort can be bought at any local drug store, it is very commonly used.
okay i would like that but I'm currently pressed on time? is there any way i can contact you?
Well it will only take me a couple minutes to put them up if you like.
These techniques follow a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) format. CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen.
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen anxiety symptoms. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
Also individuals with anxiety have a reduced coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your symptoms better.
This is a link for something called Progressive Muscle Relaxation that can help you create a long term calm by using muscle tension and release techniques; it can help manage your anxiety and is very similar to a style of meditation.
These two books are also really effective in helping manage anxiety as well.
Those are all the techniques that can help with anxiety, but like I said this will most likely pass and that supplement should help too
If you would like to talk about this in the future, I can save this chat for later if you like?