Okay, so some anxiety is normal because of the anticipation
But once you get there and are sitting down it will start to go away
hi dr Z.. ok,, it just feels like it started early
Well you are probably concerned, this is a big event and there are a lot of people going to be at this game, so you are worried a little
And that worry can cause anxiety
But remember to think objectively that everyone there is just there to have fun and watch a game and if they touch you its only because its crowded
Also you have an escape to go back to your brothers place too, so you have option for you
yeah that is probably true,, theyre all already really drinking now too... right,, ok, & everyone is getting touched & no one likes it either
Did you bring an Ativan too?
yeah i remembered to bring a couple
maybe i should take a half?
Well did you take any Ativan yesterday at all?
no i didnt
Okay so you can definitely take half now if you like to help take the edge off
You can do this Lauren, I know you will get through today and have a lot of fun...I believe in you :)
ok good i will take it now,, i just start to tense up with the noise & drinking going on already... :) thank u
I understand it is okay. Remember that this is temporary and once you get seated and in a fixed position the anxiety will go away for you.
Just remember to rely on your own inner strength and the CBT techniques too
ok,, yeah,.. thats true, & its not that i dont feel safe with my brother, he does help
& yeah i forgt sometimes about the techniques
Yes and you can rely and stay close to your brother too as that will help with your anxiety as well.
Also try to concentrate more on the game while it is going on and not your surroundings too
ok,, i will try that,,, & he knows im anxious too so i know he will stay close & not lose me
That is good
You will be fine and I know you will have a good time too :)
ok,, if u believe it then i do too :)
The anxiety will pass, but your imagination kind of creates anxiety through anticipation so that is what you are feelingnow
thats true actually,, i am picturing walking thru the crowd
And you are concerned about feeling trapped and people touching you?
yeah, i get sick feelings when i picture it
so im trying to stop doing that
I know you do, but try to stay close to your brother and remember that these people do not want to touch you either, it is just crowded. Also wear something long sleeved and thick like a sweater or jacket, so you cannot feel the sensation of other people's touch as much
i think i will wear a sweatshirt of my brothers over my clothes, that a good idea
Yeah it will numb the touch and help you
ok,, i think i can do this , u believe i can, so i can :)
Good, and you should trust yourself too...remember how good you felt last night, that will happen again because that is inside of you :)
ok :) & youre right i can just run back here if i need to
Yes you have an escape if you need it, but I think once you get seated it will be a lot better for you because not that many people touch when you are in your seats and you will be seated next to your brother too, so that will help
And since you are at a game, eat a hot dog or nachos for me :)
yeah i dont really know his friends but im not worried about that, ill just make sure im next to him atleast., lol & ok i will try to eat a hot dog for u while im there, :)
Good, you know you need the food
And its getting winter time, so you cant be too skinny or you will freeze...see I am just looking out for you :)
yes i know, i had part of a subway sub today, so that was good.., im already freezing & it says its 57 out, lol.. & i know u are :) i really am trying not to lose any more.. oh i did go to the gym today & did the treadmill, not just tan :)
That is great to hear, that treadmill workout probably helped with your anxiety a little too. Since you went to the gym that virus must be almost gone from your system
yeah i feel much much better,, but then again i talkd to u last night too :)
Aww that is very sweet, I am glad that I was able to help you feel better
u did,, & u did again today :) so now i think i can go join my brother & get thru this ok
Good, I think you will have a lot of fun today and I am positive that you will do great managing your anxiety with techniques you have worked on so well and diligently
And of course as you know we will leave this chat open too so you can talk to me afterwards and tell me how it went
yes i would def like to do that :) ok i will talk to u later & let u know, & hopefully it will b after the game & not in the middle.. i think i will b ok tho
oh i didnt even ask if u had plans?
No, I do not have plans, I will be available for you whenever you want to chat again tonight
I hope you have a great time today and I hope your team wins too :)
thanks so much dr Z :) i will talk to u soon,.
Talk to you soon Lauren, remember to rely on your inner strength and CBT and you will be just fine
ok, i can do this :) bye for now..
You definitely can do this!! Goodbye for now :)
hi dr Z,, im back , well at my brothers anyway,,. upstairs in a bedroom with the door closed, there is all kinds of chaos going on downstairs & outside
Haha, I imagine there would be chaos after an overtime game!
So how did it go for you?
i did pretty well the whole time,, my brother went in front & i didnt let go of his arm & a couple of his friends were on my sides when they could b, so that really helped
That is great to hear, and I happy it went well :)
This was a huge step for you
yeah it was :) except now my brother disappeared & there r people i dont know in & out downstairs
Haha, is that why you are upstairs chatting with me
lol, well no not exactly,, if i was able to b home this is what i would b doing too :)
That is very cute :) I was going to say you can continue having fun with your brother and we can chat later when you got home, you know I would wait up for you.
Have you tried texting/calling your brother?
yeah i did try calling but i know he is in the middle of some drama himself with his girlfriend & another girl & i dont know what, lol, so he is prob somewhere dealing with all of that
Yeah a guy, his girlfriend, and another girl is not going to end well for your brother, lol.
lol,, thats what i figured so i was trying not to add more problems for him right now by just locking the door up here,,, except i forgot to lock it, im going to go do that actually
Haha, you are very funny Lauren. But I understand why you want to be upstairs away from people you do not know very well
yeah i think the game was progress enough for one night,, dealing with drunk people, mostly guys, is something for later, maybe ,lol
I understand, and the game went in overtime too, and you managed to continue to do well :)
I am so proud of you Lauren :)
Huge smile on my face right now
:) thank u dr Z.., aww that makes me feel very , very good right now,,& now i have a huge smile
oh & thank u SO much for the message during the game :) that helped very much too
when i read it i was able to keep calm
Good, I am glad that you got the message during the game. I was not sure because I know it can be very loud in those stadiums and I did not mention that I was going to send you a message too
That is great that you are smiling righr now :)
it was loud & people were all over the place & not really sitting down but i always check mges periodically
so when i saw that from u i automatically smiled which made me calm too probably :)
That is very sweet to hear and it was my intention of helping you out and making you smile too
Too bad your team lost though, but it was a good game
yeah,, i dont think the chaos going on would b different either way tho, all i hear right now is yelling, & music & sirens , lol
i was sad to see them lose tho after it being so close
im pretty sure they beat texas at texas last yr
Wow that is a heart breaking loss, and I was rooting for your team too :)
aww :) that is very sweet of u
Well I had no real stake in the game, but since I know you I will root for WVU :)
:) & that is one of the many reasons u are so sweet too
Thanks Lauren, you are very sweet too and I enjoy talking with you immensely
well i feel the same exact way :)
oh my brother is finally texting me
i told him i was locked in a bedroom upstairs, lol
That is good, may be his drama is over, lol
You told him you locked yourself upstairs, you better give him a password XXXXX you know its him when he knocks on the door, lol
lol, true,, so far so good tho,,
he wants me to come down so his drama is prob not over but atleast taking a break for the moment
Well I think you should go down and protect your brother for the drama, or take the girls side to torment him...your choice :P
lol,, im staying out of that one, hes on his own there, esp if he did whatever he did, lol but i guess i should go down :(,, i honestly dont want to, id rather talk to u
Its okay, I will still be here when you get back...I promise :)
ok,, im prob just going to spend the night here so it wont be late late
No problem, whatever is best for you, I will still be here for you when you get back
ok :) see u in alittle while then dr Z
Have fun with the drama downstairs ;P
lol ! i will try
Talk to you soon Lauren
hi dr Z im back :) thats about as much as i handle tonight
Haha, how did it go with the drama?
well, not very good, lol,, lets just say the girl left very angry,, but his girl friend is apparently ok with things, lol
the funny thing is this isnt exactly a new thing for him,, i guess he doesnt mind drama , personally i hate it
Well that is good for him and his girlfriend. Yeah I am not a big drama fan, but some guys like it because then that means there is something to fix then, lol
lol, i see, well then he must really love to fix things
Haha, well that could be the reason...who knows. But you left it, so it is not your issue
Did you decide to sleep over at his place?
yeah,, not worth trying to go across town tonite
its died down tho atleast
I agree, and it is very late too. So being safe at your brother's place is a good idea
That is good to hear that it died down...I wonder how loud it would be if you all won
actually i think it is just as crazy , except maybe then more couches get burned, lol
they tried to make that a felony & get u automatically kicked out of schooll but its not helped that much , lol
Haha, that is pretty funn
You got to love property damage after a game
last yr they burned one too close to a truck parked in the street, the tires melted, it caught on fire & caught the next 2 cars on fire , lol
Oh my!!! Wow yeah drunkenness and fire is not a good idea
loll,, no its not, & so now u see the type of guys i deal with at these things
but actually with my brother here it was very good
no one was doing or saying anything stupid to me
That is great to hear, sounds like you had a wonderful experience at the game...and think about how you were feeling last night too...see all that strength is inside of you :)
yes :) but i cant take complete credit for last night, at all,,. i was talking to u , u know :)
Like I said I am only 5 percent. You are so much more stronger than you give yourself credit for
I am very proud of you today :)
Made me smile soo much when I heard you had a good time
aww,,thank u so much :) ,, im smiling too now again,.
Good, that is what you should do a lot
i do when i am here,.. talking to u :) this is the most ive smiled by far since the incident
Really? Because of me...that is very sweet. I am so happy that I can have this impact on you and make you happy
u do! & thats part of the reason your 5% is way too low, lol,, but we will agree to disagree on that one :)
Yes I like the agree to disagree then. So did you have any anxiety while at the game tonight?
i had some at diff times,, like when i felt like i was being pushed like with people behind trying to pass
i think the ativan helped some
Did you take anymore after that half a pill?
no thats all i took,, i usually always consult with u first on that , but no at the game i didnt although i had it with me
That is very good too because that means you went through the game on your own power pretty much
yeah, thats true,.. but also more than a half of one & i pretty much need to sleep , lol
but im glad i could make u proud of me tonite :)
Haha yeah they are strong, but half of one reaches its peak level within 30 minutes and runs out after 2-3 hours, so a lot of that was all you :)
OF COURSE I AM PROUD!!!
You did amazing tonight!!
My only regret is that I wish I was there to see it
awww,, now im really , really smiling... :) & i would have loved for u to b here to see it
Good keep on smiling then :) So you had a little bit of anxiety here and there, but you managed to control it. All in all it was a good night for you at the game. Did you have concerns about how you did or any suggestions for yourself?
my only concern was i did feel sort of trapped once we were in there, cuz moving wouldve meant passing by a row of people,,
so i kinda just had to stay like that
one of my brothers friends did go & bring me a hot dog tho,, like i told u i would do :)
Thank you for that :) I am sorry that you felt trapped while sitting there, but it must not have been overwhelming for you
i found that if i just concentrated on the game like u said it calmd me down,, plus having my brother next to me helped,, & then getting your message helped alot too
Well it sounds like you have a great support system and you are using your techniques in a great way. So now that you went to a big football game how do you feel
i do feel really good,, like this really was a big step,,. so maybe i dont have to b so worried about school starting
well not as worried
i didnt run into anyone i knew either
but most of them if they were there wouldve been in the student section,, which we werent near thank god
Well it is a big crowded place I did not think you would run into anybody you knew. I think this is definitely a positive step regarding school too.
i guess one good thing about being behind now is i dont have to worry about any of them being in a class of mine
That is very true, but you should not think about that or those people. If you see them, you seem them...all they will see is a bright and confident new Lauren :)
:) true,, & thank u for reminding me of that
& maybe the legal stuff will b done too
? by then
I hope so, but probably not...this is a slow process like I said.
And you are in a bigger town too, so that means slower
yeah,, i was just hoping
I know you were and I hope I am so wrong about this too, I am just letting you know from experience. But regardless this should not interfere with your progress and treatment...his court case is his problem, not yours
thats true,, i dont know why it causes me so much anxiety
Well it is natural why it causes you anxiety...it causes me some anxiety too because I know you and I care about you. But I just want you to know that no matter what we are going to continue with the treatment and you are going to continue to get better
:) ok,, i like that,, we are just going forward no matter what, & u are so sweet to care that much, that makes me feel very good just knowing that
Of course I care, I have been with you since the beginning of this and helping you too and I want to see you get better and better and I also really want him to rot in prison
i know that if it went to an actual trial , (which i wouldnt want of course) & he was convictd it could b 10- 25 yrs,, but obviously with this plea i just have a feeling it will b nothing like that
i need to stop watching the news too cuz a girl was just raped at the ramada inn which is just up the road from me
You never know, it could be 7-10 years and he has to register as a sex offender.
I am sorry that you are seeing these things in the news.
& they were saying that guy of course could b facing 10-25 yrs & it made me feel alittle sick again, im not sure why i guess it just reminded me
I think it reminded you of your ex-boyfriend and the incident too, but look at you now though. You are way more empowered than you were back then, so you have gotten stronger...a lot stronger
Yes thats true, definitelly a different person now :)
so thank u again, for everything u do & are doing,, even if u say 5%, lol
bryan was trying to text tonite , also i meant to tell u,, but i basically didnt answer or was really slow to answer
Haha, you are not going to let that go are you
no im not! lol
That is good, take the initiative to make space from him
after yesterday & the whole hot tub thing i am pretty tired of him
when i think about it that shouldnnt have even been an argument
I know, I am sorry he is pushy like that. I want to say that it is just his hormones, but he is an adult and responsible for his own actions.
yeah , its just like its gotten worse over time instead of better
Well with him, I do not know what he is thinking, but it is obvious he likes you more than a friend
which is the last thing i needed from him right now
I know, I wish it was different with him too
once a guy thinks of u like that, in a way more than a friend,, can he just go back to thinking of u like a friend again?or is it just going to b like this
Wow that is a tough question...it is hard for the guy, but maybe if he had a different woman to catch his interest...so get him a date, lol!
lol,, awesome idea,, i would have to think about who,, although i did try to get him to like his friend from harrisburg like that & it just wasnt happening that night
I know you did try, but he was still very much into you. Maybe when you cool off from him and he senses that he will be more interested in other girls.
ok,, so i will try that,, i mean i still want him as a friend but at the same time not if hes going to b acting like taht
I agree, and I think he will cool down from you in time, he just has to get the hints that you are not ready for that and you just like him as a friend...he is in the friend zone, and guys dont leave the friendzone, lol
lol, that is funny, the friend zone , & the good news is i think how i reacted yesterday should b one big hint to start things out with
How did you react? You never really told me except that he tried to get in the hot tub with you
i felt like i was alittle bit mean,, but i said i no please do not get in here, i dont feel well & this was supposed to b to help my neck & help me feel better,,, i cant remember if there was more now or not,, cuz he did stand there & try to argue about it alittle
Wow, he wanted to argue to get in the hot tub with you, at least he did not go commando I guess that was a blessing, jk.
I hope he got some hint about how you reacted that the space is a good thing for both of you
lol, no he was just trying to get in with boxers on tho,, i think he may have ,i didnt hear from him for awhile today, not untill later & usually it is first thing in the morning
Boxer?!? I have no idea what he was thinking. I think he got some hint too, hopefully that will stick with him because telling him that you need space sure didnt
yes thats what im hoping too,, & yeah i have no idea what he was thinking
I am sorry, he will learn eventually, just keep being persistent
i am going to try,, my problem is i start to feel like im being mean & then i get soft again
I think you are being firm and it may come off as mean, but only in a response to when he is getting too close
thats true, i panic alittle i think when he gets too close maybe,, & then things dont always come out how id like them to
Well that panic is natural, but try to learn how to control it and maintain your composure. It will be a little practice
ok,, i will try to remember that for the next time,, well hopefully there isnt a next time like that
Yeah, I think giving you privacy would be the first thing I would think of if you were in a hot tub.
But that is just me maybe
well u are different than any guy i have ever known, in a very good way, so that might just be u :)
Well I try to be different, lol! I just think given what you went through, privacy is key for you
well u are also smarter than any guy i have ever known,, & somehow know me very very well too
& yes privacy is def key right now
I know you because I listen to you and I care :)
If I did not listen or care, how could I help you like I do
:) u couldnt,, & just another reason u are at the top of the list of most awesome guys ive met
Aww that is very sweet Lauren...you are definitely on the top of my list for coolest girls I have ever met too :)
But that is mostly because you like American Dad and Family Guy, and video games too, lol
just kidding with you ;P
lol,,. & here to think i never knew how valuable those qualities were
Well that is not why you are the coolest, there are many other reasons why, but those are good qualities because it means that you like to laugh and have fun :)
Let me ask, have you seen the Family Guy Star Wars movies?
aww, well again, u are very sweet... & no, i have not ? that sounds very funny tho,, lol
Oh really? Yes they are funny, they had one of them on TV tonight and I watched it and loved it
Stewie plays Darth Vader
lol,, thats great,, i dont think i even knew about it, maybe
Here you go
oh wow , awesome! thank u... the ratings r really good too
Yeah they are pretty hilarious, I think you would like it. I watched the first movie on tv today and totally thought of you
aww, thats so cool u thought of me :) i am def going to watch that, prob tomorrorw actually
Another random movie suggestion by me, lol
lol... i love any random anything from u,, just so u know :)
now i have a random question.. do u think playstation 4 would b worth getting? if u were me? lol
Oh wow that is a good question. First off never get a first generation of the game stations as they always have problems because they are rushed to production, so wait until summer next year when they workout all the bugs and hardware issues. Also I am bias because I am more of an X-box person, but I have heard great things about the PlayStation 4, but since you like Wii a lot, you may enjoy the Xbox Kinect more
i like wii alot but sometimes i like the more real games too... but yeah that makes sense about waiting , & then it wont feel so much like an impulse,, which i have to watch , lol
Yes impulse buying is not always good. But regardless, both machines are really good and exclusive games for one station is no longer the norm, so I think you will be fine regardless if you buy the new playstation or xbox
ok, thats good advice :) i will wait til summer & maybe i wont even have time for it anyway with school
That is true, you may not have time for it with homework, papers, and tests. But playing video games can be good for downtime
yeah,, im just thinking that for me school will b all i can handle, but maybe if i just only take a few classes to start
like we talked about
Yeah there is no need to rush through school and I will be here to help you too
:) thank u , that is a relief in & of itself
Well I went through a lot of school, so I can help with assignments and papers here and there for you too. If you need someone to proofread too, I am here :)
oh wow,, that is so great , & u are so nice , & generous,, i would b lying if i said i wasnt alittle bit worried about it, about keeping up, & i dont know, just passing lol
You were worried about your treatment too and you are doing great there. I think you can do anything Lauren. It will be difficult, but I still think you can do it :)
:) well thank u for believing i can,, that means alot, & also means i need to believe it too, since i trust u
You should definitely believe in yourself :)
And like I said you can rely on me too
ok :) & i need to make a drs appt soon so i can get used to medicine again
Yes you should do that, that will help you in school. Also did you ask for special accommodations from school regarding your ADHD, like more time on tests?
no i totally forgot,, which i know sounds really stupid when i hear myself saying that
Its okay, you still have plenty of time that is why I wanted to remind you. You can ask the school for a form that your doctor can fill out for you
ok,, i will do tht monday
& maybe get in to see my dr on fri
That sounds good.
So any plans for tomorrow or today, not that I think about it?
no i just want to keep going to the gym tho, now that im feeling better i feel like i have to make up for last wk
how about u?
oh i want to remember church this time
That is good, I think going to the gym will do you a world of good :) And yes I will send a message to remind you about church tomorrow
For me I will definitely go to church at night and then I have to hangout with a couple friends to makeup for missing hanging out with them tonight, so I may do that tomorrow too
& drive them to church ? lol
Haha, no it was not AnnaLisa at all. Some friends wanted to go to this new sports bar in town and play billards, but I passed
oh ok, lol, & i was just teasing u this time :) & why did u pass , if its ok to ask? were u just tired still from thur?
I know you were just teasing, I thought it was funny and cute :) Actually I passed because you were going to a game and while I knew you would get through it, I wanted to be around my computer just in case :)
aww that is really sweet,, but im sorry i didnt mean to mess up your night with my problems,,, :( its still very very sweet tho ,lol
You did not mess up my night at all Lauren!!! I wanted to stay to be here for you just in case something went wrong
I chose to stay
:) :) :) 3 smiles that time
Awww very sweet :)
:) & so now thats what i am doing again,, thanks to u & your 5%, lol, I am going to b going to bed smiling again
Well I like when you are in a good mood, it makes me smile too :) And you should be going to bed, its almost 5AM over there, lol
True,, my brother has blackout curtains in here tho, so it could be 10 am & i wouldnt know , lol
Haha that is pretty cool, I love blackout curtains. I had that when I lived in NYC
lol,, it didnt do much for the noise tho,, but thats better finally
Yeah everyone is passed out from drinking too much, lol
considering they started at noon that was prob their 3 rd time around passing out today, lol
but yes,, i should prob go to bed ,
I think that would be best so you do not sleep through the whole day, but now that you are feeling better you can message me at anytime tomorrow :)
ok, i will definitely do that dr Z :) thank u soooo very much for being here for me,, i cant tell u how much it means,, but its Alot
Anytime Lauren :) You cannot get rid of me that easy, lol
lol,, funny,... i was thinking u were prob thinking the same thing about me...,
I enjoy chatting with you a lot :)
And I like being able to help you too
I absolutely love chatting with u,, & i am just really lucky, is all i have to say about that :) so i hope u sleep really well tonite & have sweet dreams & feel nice & rested so u can have fun with your friends tomorrow/today.. :)
Thanks Lauren, good night/morning and Sweet Dreams :) I hope you have a great day tomorrow/today too!
And I am the lucky one ;)
lol ,, & u are just too sweet for words sometimes :) goodnight dr Z, & talk to u soon!
Night Lauren :)
hi dr Z :) i just wanted to check in & see how u were doing & say sorry, i didnt mean to keep u until, well daylight here almost, lol... i hope u slept well & i didnt mess up your schedule too much,, i really do lose track of time when we're talking & like i said i do absolutely Love chatting with u. Today im feeling very very good! & yes u are to do with most of that (remember we r agreeing to disagree lol). I havent watched the star wars family guy yet but i will b doing that very soon.. actually i got back from the gym not long ago & have so far just managed to take a shower & eat some candy cane hersey kisses..my new favorite kisses... oh & I forgot to ask if u got the pumpkin kisses & if u liked them? its ok if u didnt, not everyone loves all things pumpkin like i do.. Bryan has been texting & asking if this was about the hot tub & that he was sorry, but im not even sure how to respond to that cuz #1 im not sure how sorry he really is & #2 its about so many things :( anyway, i hope u are having the awesome day that u so deserve & get to do fun things with your friends today...oh & enjoy church tonite,, & hopefully i will remember to go :) Lauren
Thank u!! i just am sitting here watching the Family Guy Star Wars & omg i wouldve forgotten again! This is hilarious btw, so thank u again for the recommendation...i am just trying to figure out why they made Quagmire CP3O , i thought he was supposed to b a gay robot..llol anyway ok, i will put this on pause in a few minutes since church is in about 35 min. , talk to u soon dr Z :)
hi again dr Z :) so i did make it to church & thanks again for the reminder,, i am feeling good after being there, i think after skipping last wk i actually really missed it.,, did u get to go as well? i had this weird thing happen on the way home tho, i stopped at circle k just to get gas & this guy askd me for money for gas while i was outside the car so he could get home to cheat lake which is alittle far, thats actually where my gym is ,, anyway i gave him money & then he got sorta weird & was saying things like come on we should go party, so of course i was saying no i cant & he was like cmon it'll b fun, c'monnn & i was thinking, really ? im just trying to get gas & there has to b a weirdo here at exactly this moment while i am here? ,, gee i am so lucky,.. but he left me alone after i got in my car & didnt try to follow or anything like that.. & yeah, about the gay robot,, i will admit ive never seen prob an entire star wars movie but whenever i have seen that robot i just thought that, & youre right about the intimate relations part,, although who knows what robots do when no one is watching , lol..
yes ! i am so lucky arent i ?lol well i gave him money i think since at first i didnt know he was going to turn out to b a weirdo, & i thought he really did jst need money for gas to get home,, but u are right that was prob not the smartest thing cuz im thinking that money now went to buy more weed, lol.., plus then it gave him the opportunity to stay there & harass me.,, That is really cool u donate money like that tho, , actually i do donate but to the aspca for the animals, not alot but its something i guess, they jst take money out of my acct every month.
& yes, i should prob see the star wars movies sometime,, there seem to b alot of references made about them which i obviously wouldnt get. & also concerning the robots u had me laughing (& laughing) with your comment about u pondering about how that would work, lol, esp since then u had me trying to figure it out too,,lolim really glad u are getting to go to church tonite, i hope youre really enjoying it , as im sure u are :) it does make me happy when i know youre getting to do something i know u enjoy.. talk to u soon dr Z :)
omg, wow! i have never met anyone else who donates to the animals,, infact bryan thinks the money doesnt even make it to the animals, which we both know is not true, thte aspca is legit... also i dont know if youve been to this site but its the animalrescuesite.com & a percentage of anything u buy there goes to feed them, like $30.00= x amt of bowls of food, etc... its prob more of a girl thing than for guys though, i like to buy some of their jewelry, they have some cool gemstones, like rose quartz & moonstone,, & all that stuff that im sure u are sooooo very interested in hearing about,, lol..& no i think its perfectly fine to think about robot sex during church,,although i can check with Fr Lange next mass if u want just to make sure,,llol,,im sure there are alot worse things people have thought about though, lol,.. & thats too funny about the anti virus scan, very clever, & very true,lol, u really do make me laugh..i have so much fun talking to u too :) So are u feeling tired yet cuz of last night? or are u doing ok? oh & i forgot to mention i did try to eat some leftover italian from oliverios but mostly i have been eating these candy cane kisses right now :)
Actually no im feeling very awake too,,,i think it is going now the other direction after sleeping an entire wk last wk,,im so glad that is over! im back to my night owl self :) once i start the adhd med tho if it does like it did last time it will prob calm me down, hopefully not too much tho,, the last time it was too high of a dose i think to start & i was alittle like a zombie at first,, a good friend of mind was like isnt there a happy medium? cuz it was so noticable..,& yes the candy cane kisses are an awesome dinner!...& so healthy cuz u have the chocolate group of the food pyramid, the mint group,, & did i say the chocolate group yet?lol i would prob rate them equal to or even alittle higher than the pumpkin, theres little tiny bits of candy cane in the chocolate., i have a stack of wrappers piling up so i guess i should start throwing them away to get rid of the evidence, my roommate already thinks my eating habits are crazy enough!
So are u watching anything funny with Bruce tonite? or being bad & working,, reading work related stuff, etc? , lol
ok,, well if youre working but also watching American Dad its ok, i will cut u some slack & wont call u being bad then,, lol, cartoon shows always counter balance the negative.., lol, & yes u are right about school being a fun thing for me with this attitude,, & thats exactly where the adhd med comes in & suddenly i can concentrate & do work too like normal people :) & with my mood i really think the lexapro has been helping too , although the chocolate is alot more of a fun antidepressant,,,, as is dr Z ,lol,.. So, a Pizookie huh? that sounds VERY awesome actually,, i would pick the chocolate chip cookie too,,,& can u put chocolate ice cream on top of it instead? ok now i really want to try one! why is your town so far away anyway?? Yesss,, french toast is great too,,so i understand about your taste buds taking over & ignoring the shut off valve, lol.. the other thing that is good are the specialty pancakes at IHOP , like blue berry with lots & lots of whip cream,, i wish whip cream & chocolate both made up the food pyramid...i would b like the healthiest eater ever then, lolAbout this wk,, i still need to make up the calendars, which went to the wayside while i was sick..,i do know tho that i want to keep exercsing at the gym & maybe finally find a class i like there,.. i need to go see my dr & oh yeah talk to the school first about accomodations., i def need extra time,, i couldnt tell u how many times ive been in a test & read a whole paragraph question & then realized i had no idea what i just read cuz i was distracted or thinking about other things,, then i panic & it makes it all even worse...i think im going to cont to avoid bryan as much as possible & even skip bike rides this wk probably.. How about u , anything u have planned out yet? well besides working 23 hr days, lol
Ok here is a random veggie fact about me : i like broccoli,, i bet u never saw that one coming! thats about where my relationship with veggies ends tho,, so i do feel your pain.. & that would b such a cool invention, a daily veggie pill! u should totally patent that before someone else does,, & u can come up with the actual product down the road,,, im sure thats perfectly legal & how it works , lol
& yeah u are right, i shouldnt ignore bryan completely, i def dont want to b mean,, it does sorta make me mad tho, that now, esp after the incident & everything, now he wants to b pushy about being more than friends. i should maybe have mentioned this but in the past, a Long time ago , i felt so comfortable about our 'just friend' status that we were getting ready to go some where & even got ready together in front of each other,,& he in no way made any moves back then, so why now? its just weird
i think its great u are going to a grown up dinner party, u will def have to tell me how that goes, lol..im sure u will have alot of fun with your friends :) im glad u have an easy week coming up, cuz honestly i do worry about u & worry that u work way too hard/too much sometimes,.. sorry i cant help it, i just do really care :) so im happy u will have free time to relax & i bet bruce is happy too! oh & i meant to ask how the little lost kitty is? did u get her to come out?
oooh thank u for more awesome movie suggestions! i honestly have loved every one that u have told me about so far.. if i run across any good ones i will tell u of course as well :) im hoping there will b some new good ones out this month,, but now u have given me 2 more so that is great :)
& yes! what were u thinking with your choice of friends that are girls?? obviously those are very selfish girls, lol,, & i know youre jk,, but youre also very funny, & made me laugh alot with that , lol
Thank u for promising to not overdo & to relax & take time for just yourself,,, u are always doing so much to help everyone else, u deserve that at the very least :) Im so glad that talking to me helps & that is very sweet of u to say.... i could def say the same thing about u, & i do care, verrryyy much as a matter of fact, so how could i not be trying to look out for u? as best as i can from afar, lol.. i am glad u enjoy your work tho, thats really important & i hope that is the case for me someday too :) im jealous, in a good way of course :) but if u want to switch places with me the offer is still open , lol
So how are u doing now? feeling tired yet at all? im starting to finally get there...
awww im glad u are smiling cuz now i am too :) & i agree, it does feel like u are right here with me when we talk,, which must just mean we have an awesome connection inspite of the distance,,, & like i think u said before, in sync :) & i would certainly welcome any help from u in figuring out a good career path, since u do infact know me very well, & u have so much experience in so many things,, its amazing actually :) or maybe that should just read U are amazing :)& ok, i think i will get under the covers now, i am feeling cold right now too so this will b good, infact almost shivering, geez,, & anyway hopefully i will get to sleep soon., I do really hope u have a wonderful rest of the night cuz i do really care :) so sleep well for me & i also hope your monday & half day off is awesome! goodnight dr Z & talk to u soon :)
hi dr Z ,, good morning :) i hope u were able to sleep well last night & catch up maybe from the night before.. i know i did after i got under the warm covers :) i did get up kinda early tho but i made use of it & did go to the school & got the form for the accomodations so im actually going to my dr this afternoon since they werent closed for the holiday. anyway i just wanted to say hi & wish u a nice & relaxing afternoon off as u deserve this very much! .. talk to u soon dr Z :)
hi Dr Z :)
im so happy to hear that u slept well too :) & i agree it was def worth it concerning the lack of sleep from the night before :) So i wantd to tell u i did go to the dr (& got to see my actual dr this time :) ) Anyway he prescribed teh Adderall XR like u & i had talkd about so i will start that tomorrow.,. he also will fill out the form for the accommodations i just have to remember to pick it up sometime now.., So are u have a nice afternoon off? hopefully u are doing something u enjoy or at the very least resting or taking a nap :) btw if i find out u are working tho,, well lets just say dont make me come over there & find u! lol jk :)
lol! well if i caught u working u would have to b punished accordingly,, of course...hmm,, taking away your xbox prob would b too lenient.. lol, & anyway if i told u that would take away the element of surprise,,so just consider yourself warned,, lol jk!
awww, Bruce is one very lucky, spoiled dog! & i meant to tell u that is so sweet u are feeding the lost cat,, he/she is also very lucky to have found their way to your shed :)
i think tonite im probably going to watch more of the Family Guy Star Wars,, some time long , long ago..yet somehow in the future, lol how about u? any plans besides spending quality time with the luckiest dog in the world?
(& thank u very much btw for the offer to remind me to pick up the form from my dr cuz i can almost guarantee i wont remember...)
Thats great!!! :) im so glad u said no work tonite! ..the downside of it being now i dont get to punish u, , lol jk again! i promise im not a mean girl, even tho some people (or person) may think that lately... tho it sounds like u are going to be busy 'not working' anyway, lol,,.friends get free house calls, now thats pretty cool :) i have to admit i am curious tho now about what is going on with your friend & his wife ,, so its ok u can go over & do that if u would like,, as long as i get to hear all the gory details, lol ...& yes, i am defintely just looking out for u like u do for me all the time :)i am prob more of a dog person too, unless we are talking about a lion-tiger 'liger'...that would b soooo awesome to have as a pet.. combiining lions which are very loving & tigers which are very cool looking,,, its perfect! & u would help a cat out even tho youre a dog person cuz u are so incredibly kind & sweet :)
ok, so Wow! lol.. u really did have quite the evening,, & i am sooo confused right now, i know, shocking that i should b confused, lol... So puleeeze , if u dont mind, tell me if im understanding this correctly: your friends have not been having sex with each other cuz theyre tired from their odd hr jobs,, but the husband half has not been too tired to watch porn & i assume have, well, sex by himself,, but the porn he is watching is not even with hot chicks but instead with women that might b considerd the complete opposite of that definition for well, many guys & the complete opposite body type of his wife who does not have a weight problem & never did have one even when they were 1st married, which was not that long ago? do i have this so far?lol ... so since hes feeling inferior & not wantd by his wife who has the better current job he is doing something to make his wife feel 'less than' by watching movies with women who are actually , im just guessing, less attractive than his wife? lol.. as i said, im sooo confused even after reading your message more than a few times, ,, & the other part of this is , if that was his type why did he marry someone skinny?? oh i would SO suck at your job!
& yesss, im loving Family Guy right now,, & i think im about to watch Office Space. So are u home now? i assume?
& about the liger.. i just think the big cats r so cool, & i was watching this stuff about lions & watching how loving they were with their human caretakers,,, have u ever seen that really old clip, its on YouTube, where those 2 guys see their former pet lion Christian for the 1st time in yrs & the lion literally runs up & hugs them, & nuzzles them & is obviously so happy to see them? its so awesome,,,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqhJuwUukX8
anyway, hope u are enjoying yourself now after that fun time & will talk to u soon :)
ok,, that was very funny! i cant believe u were singing the big butts song in the middle of all this, lol! well actually i can , u are hilarious :) & hmmm.. is masturbation really sex? now u have a new question to ponder while sitting in church,, lol.. we can add that to our question 'do robots have sex behind closed doors?' & start a collection of these deep, meaningful mysteries of life,lol.. & ok yes, i understand the situation alittle better & im very glad u think they will work it out cuz i know they are your friends & that u care about them & of course they are awesome, they are your friends therefore i Know they are cool :) i do understand u not wanting to make eye contact with them now tho & i think thats very cute too :)& Concerning the liger,, i just wanted to make it clear that i admire them from a distance as well & would never actually want one in real life, lol, jst so u arent thinkin now 'ok crazy, go get yourself eaten by a liger why dont u' ,,,lol
& about dinner.. ok i had a meaningful dinner of pumpkin cheese cake that i had brought home from oliverios when i got the italian food the other day,, & i know u are now thinking on what planet is pumpkin cheesecake meaningful? well that would b the planet of Lauren, i would guess, lol..& if punishment is necessary i completely understand, but that will require u coming here to find me, & i would get to see U then, oh darn ,lol,, see how i just reversed that??lol.. anyway, im so glad u are home just relaxing now, that makes me smile :) i can picture u with bruce & with his boundary issues together watching funny shows & that is a very good image :)
hmmm... well i dont think the good lord will smite u necessarily for sex thoughts in church,, but maybe just a few locusts @ your door,,or a flooded toilet in your bathroom, lol ...& btw i do love it that u hate awkward silences so u break it up with classic dr Z randomness, thats awesome, lol & wow , being asked not once or twice but FOUR times to be best man says ALOT actually, but i cant say im surprised, i know u are the best guy those guys could want as a friend, u are thoughtful, giving kind & on & on :) But i am curious,,after all those weddings did u never even once catch the garter?? lol,, (& u know im just teasing u, :) )My night has been very good, & up until about 30 min ago i hadnt even heard from bryan,, then he just texts out of no where 'are u dreaming of me naked' & im not even joking about that! l,, what the..? but , on a more positive note, i soooo loved that u were thinking of me & taking mental notes tonite,, that is so sweet & i did get a huge kick out of the whole deal :) & about the no punishment thing,, oh well, there is always the next time i suppose, so i will try not to b too disappointed :) lol
Well i think he thought he was being funny,, but obviously he doesnt get this at all.. & even tho hes my friend & i have known him since forever its really making me wonder too about being him dropped on his head at some point.. i knew he wasnt sincere with the apology about the hot tub & this just confirms it :( my reply was just a sarcastic 'yes bryan, thats exactly what i was dreaming of, u naked, u caught me' i think hes been hanging at the frat house alittle too much maybe & i know they all think bryan has been in my bed anyway...about being best man 4 times,, i bet u had some awesome bachelor party ideas actually :) u are creative & fun & funny & smart so im sure they were all a great time :)
& awww thank u,, thats very sweet about thinking about me now & i think u are now making me blush, lol
oh & i meant to ask u what Hawaiian bbq was? thats something we dont have here in WV for sure , lol
yeah u are right about the bryan situation,, so im def leaning towards he is spending too much time with his frat brothers,, they prob are putting things in his head, i hadnt really even thought about that, but i know how they are & tht makes perfect sense,, & yes,, i suppose its possible he got drunk tonite, anything is possible as far as what goes on in the frat houses.. & i do want him to cont just being my friend but at the same time it really annoys me if what he is thinking about is just sex with me..& NOTHING u could ever say or tell me about would b boring! ever... i love whatever u talk about & i love the spontaneity :)
hmm.. my favorite food... thats a good question, i by no means have an eating disorder, btw, just to b clear about that,, but i do have a weird relationship with food.. when i am hungry i will eat & once in awhile can eat alot,, ok, i guess that would b relatively alot, lol,, but still,.. its just that often, esp since the incident, im not as hungry, so i just go by what my body is telling me... but, to get back to the question,, this will prob really surprise u but if i had to pick something like a last meal it would prob be filet mignon,,& if they had it kobe steak,, & this will surprise u too but done medium rare, leaning to the rare side... :)
& no i didnt quite get to Office Space yet,, i guess its kinda late to do that now.. & i like that, yes we are a team :)
omg that is SO awesome, i love it!! LOL! im so glad u decided to share that story with me tonite :) i will say u have to give Dan credit,, he was game for anything apparently .lol or u just have a knack for talking people into things, lol either way u were just like i said, the perfect bachelor party best man/planner with your creativity & humor,, that was a great idea with the hats... & i cant believe he went into a biker bar in a speedo,, & even lived to tell about it! lol...actually i could say the same thing about going into a bar on ladies night in a speedo, that was prob even more dangerous, lol.. im glad his wife finally saw the humor in that too.. the lesbian cop was the perfect way to have a grand finale too,, so that was fortunate the way that ended up playing out.. i have to say i find it amazing u are a guy & not only have never been to a strip club but dont even see the appeal :) that is seriously verey, very, cool,, but i think u respect women in a way that most guys dont, including bryan im beginning to see.. & yeah i dont know if he is just thinking about sex with me or what but u are very sweet with all the compliments u listed above about me in any case :)
So also now i am curious,, what is your favorite food? i'm glad my eating habits are normal btw,,. people tend to give me a hard time about it sometimes so i guess i was feeling abnormal ..
So are u still watching funny shows while bruce snores?
Lol! yes u totally nailed it,, i am dreaming, well apparently daydreaming actually since im awake, about bryan naked, lol...i mean really what was he thinking i would say? come on over & lets make this dream a reality?lol & about the compliments, my ex used to find ways to tear me down & make me feel insecure so the compliments truly are meaningful to me :)& oh wow, a girl that wants to take her boyfriend to a place full of naked women who do things like lap dances & other rated R & some cases im sure rated X activities,, im pretty sure thats not something i would do, but hey to each her own, lol
Sushi is great! i also do love it, & i wouldve had it last wk but i think it was the hot tub day & i wasnt feeling hungry when we were at the japanese place.. heres a random weird fact , i love trying to eat pieces of wasabi, just by itself,, as much as i can tolerate anyway, it hurts so good ,lol
right now im finishing todays crossword, well yesterdays,, & i know,, weird & borderline geek type behavior..:)
i really dont want to stop talking to u , which always makes it hard to say goodnight, but i guess i will have to b going to bed at some point here.. are u feeling tired yet?
aww im sorry, u def need to b in bed & in dreamland asap.. I hope u have a great nights sleep too & yes will talk to u tomorrow :) i really, really enjoyed talking to u tonight,, as always :)goodnight dr Z :) :) :)
aww good morning dr Z :) its always so good to see your name come up ! i hope u have a wonderful, stress free day as well, that u slept like a rock & that youre not too tired.. i have just taken the adderall so we will see how this goes this time, not that i had any problems the last time... hope youre feeling great, i know i am smiling this morning :)
hi dr Z :)
i just wanted to see how u were doing & say i hope u have been have a good day & u havent been too very overloaded with work.. i have actually not done a whole lot today,, i took the adderall as i told u this morning but it was actually making me feel alittle weird & spacey ,, well more than usual, lol..anyway i do remember it doing this the last time at first but it went away after a couple days of it, so hopefully tahts the case now.. right now im in the middle of Office Space & so far it is veryy good & very funny & again thank u for the suggestion :) btw remind me to never have a job where i have to wear pieces of flair, lol....i still want to watch Idiocracy later too.. so do u have plans tonite? or just going to take it easy since u will b with your friends tomorrow? talk to u soon dr Z :)
first,, im so sorry to hear about your step father,, i cant even imagine how hard those treatments must b for him, and u as well having to watch him go thru it.. im very glad to hear he is close to being done with the treatments & the cancer tho, so things are going in the right direction.., still that has to b so hard for u & your family.. so is NYC where u wouldve been living if u hadnt moved? thats only like 5 hrs from here .. that is really awesome of u to move like that in any case,,& how u sacrifced & put your family first , alot of people wouldnt do that,, but then again alot of people are selfish & dont have all your wonderful qualities either :)
Overall its been a good day & it def started out very well, with me smiling after getting a surprise good morning from this really awesome guy :) i'll have to tell u about him some time , lol,.. Bryan did text a couple of times today just to say annoying things, but then again everything coming from his mouth is annoying me lately.. i wish i knew what was going on in his head.. & if he is being influenced by his frat brothers hes going to have to choose them or me.. & how does he think i could just b over & done with the incident just like that?? ok i will stop now,, sorry, didnt mean to just start going on about it like that..
Im glad youre going to take it easy after the gym & just watch some tv, u really have had a busy & not so easy day,,, & twice a wk even, sorry , i wish i could make it better :( talk to u soon..
Well your step father will certainly have all of my good thoughts & prayers that remission comes very quickly & that he will get his normal life back very soon.. i am happy to hear tho that i can help u though with smiles & laughs ,,.And so DC or Nebraska,, hummm,,, well if it had been DC thats even closer with aXXXXX:) ...Neb not so much tho, lol
So this Star Wars Family Guy is hilarious! soooo cool that Roger does a cameo in the 3rd Family Guy movie, I assume this just now was a cameo anyway... And yes I am just going to go nuts tonite & watch all of these funny shows, which are all your wonderful suggestions :)
& so its funny u mentioned getting Bryan a girlfriend cuz when he stopped by here earlier ( yes i know,, ugh) i was exactly trying to do that by asking him about a girl i know he always thought was hot & i know she liked him too atleast at one point...but all he said was 'nahh' & why? was i trying to arrange a booty call? lol....well, kinda bryan, .. he was being nice, atleast not saying anything annoying or sexual but while we were sitting on the couch i guess he couldnt keep it up being mr nice guy for too long cuz he had his hand on my back at one point & somehow thru my shirt he still mangaged to unhook my bra, thinking he was so funny.. i thought that was supposed to b funny to guys in like 7th grade..?
& Congratulations!!! that is VERY cool about your paper being published.. & the 2nd time too ! I feel very happy for u & you have so much to b proud of , u are wayyyy too young to already b this successful, & which is just another thing that is amazing about u....amazing for me would b just making it thru undergrad, lol...
So are u relaxing?,, watching tv?,, making a nice dinner? That all sounds like the perfect evening to me :)
Yes, he actually did that,, i didnt slap him but youre right i should have & honestly i was mad enough at him to do that.. but i just stood up to get away from him & told him to knock it off but he wasnt taking me too seriously cuz he was still laughing & asking why i wouldnt sit next to him now... & hmm, maybe on planet douche bag thats a good way to flirt with a girl.. & yes! more sex with himself,lol,, i agree fully,,& i probably should of recommended that to him that too.. esp since the last thing in the world i would want right to be right now is someones friend with benefits,,, i dont even know right now how i am ever going to b able to do 'that' again even in a relationship,, but i guess thats something to forget for now & worry about in the future.. & yeah, i definitely couldnt picture u doing what bryan did whether u were 13 or 20 or any age...
& so concerning how im feeling now after Bryan came over..i was doing ok, just alittle mad & alot annoyed @ him while he was still here, but now, honestly, other not so good feelings are starting to happen, . but im trying my hardest to keep my mind from going to the incident..
Im so glad youre relaxing,, that just made me smile, it sounds like youre having a really nice evening :) & ok if i tell u what I ate earlier u have to promise not to laugh.. so anyway, usually dont like the hot dogs u just buy at the store unless they are the hebrew national hot dogs, & so we had some here so i did that plus one of those ice cream cone drumstick things.. remember, u promised not to laugh, i heard u promise from here, 3000 miles away, :)
Lol, thats very funny! ok u did get a laugh out of me there,, several laughs actually, lol Well i was laughing but feeling bad for u too at the same time, esp since he caused u to have a mini panic,, & with good reason too! But u kept your composure without bolting out of there, which is what i wouldve done, lol... & u are the 1st person ive ever heard say their best quality was their ears, lol! that is both funny & cute :) So thank u for brightening my evening & sharing that random little story !Well i think im going to try to go to bed now,, i think dealing with bryan has made me feel alittle exhausted & if im sleeping then i cant b thinking about things. But u are right, i am safe right now, what happened with the incident is never going to happen to me again, & i was able to stand up for myself tonite when bryan was being immature.. so those are all positive things:) i am praying my dreams will b good tonite too,,, when the nightmares happen they are awful, but still i havent had one in awhile..
So I will tell u goodnight now, as hard as that always is for me to do
:( & pray that u will have only sweet dreams & good sleep so u wake up feeling great :) i hope u have an awesome day tomorrow too & will talk to u soon...night dr Z :)
Good morning dr Z :) i am feeling better actually,, i was alittle worried about having bad dreams but i didnt & infact slept really well, i actually slept til probably about 8 which is good for me :) in any case i dont feel quite so bad about what happend last night now & im doing ok. i took the adderall too & its not making me feel as weird or cloudy as yesterday either, so thats good too! I hope u slept well & are having a great day so far as well :) thank u so much for making me smile this morning too, it means alot that u care.. talk to u soon dr Z :)
Glad you are feeling better and sleeping in is good for you too. And it sounds like your body is adapting and adjusting the Adderall, so that is a very good thing as well. I am always here to make you smile and yes I definitely do care. Have a wonderful rest of your day Lauren and I am always here when you need me :)
hi again dr Z :) i just wanted to say that i forgot to tell u your random story about the restaurant ball pits & your fear of sharks in them cuz of your mean cousins was both very funny & very sweet at the same time....i was laughing but saying awww at the same time :) & dont worry, making u go into the ball pit will never b a punishment, from me anyway,, lol
i also wantd to let u know i have completely ignored all texts from the immature irresponsible guy & dont plan on responding any time soon,, good plan, yes? i wish he could hear it from someone like u how bad that stuff is since he doesnt seem to want to listen to me, but oh well plan A is i will just cont. to ignore him,, that seems to drive him pretty crazy :)
(& sorry to bother u while u are working, i hope youre not too extremely busy & are having a great day :) ) talk to u soon,.. Lauren
Hi dr Z :)
Ok I just watched Idiocracy, & it was awesome too ,, welcome to Cosco, I love u lol! So are u home yet? Oh I just rememberd u have that party tonite im pretty sure,, very cool :) im so glad u get to go have fun with your friends,.. also if there is alcohol involved maybe it wont b too awkward for u seeing the couple that u gave marital counseling to :) im just going to be home & avoiding bryan who is all worried now , like I knew he would be…but he sorta had this coming…..today has been ok but due to him & his actions last night I had to try to keep busy today so I wouldn’t think about negative things & it mostly worked. I did get to go to the gym for the treadmill action but I skipped the tanning believe it or not, I am going to cut back to just once a wk tanning at this point cuz as I said before im not going for the real housewives look :) I also was able to start to reading the trauma & mood books again today too but in a more meaningful & productive way with the Adderall,, im actually able to retain what I read & I can do it without getting frustrated & quitting.. right now the medicine is lasting most of the day but I remember now last time I eventually had to b on the short acting Adderall in the evening too in order to do homework.
So I am thinking after your ball pit story that u had to have been one very cute & sweet little boy , (naivety/gullibility adding to all of this btw) & could’ve competed in the worlds most adorable child contest :) I have never asked u this before but I was wondering, do u have any brothers or sisters? Or just mean older cousins?, lol,, well im guessing older.. My mean older brother made me believe all kinds of stuff that wasn’t true too (like unicorns were real which was my favorite animal for a very very long time) but the worst was about basements & the horrible scary things that were down there & that was the worst cuz to this day I am freaked out by basements & don’t go down into one by myself---wow, that was just now a very random & very embarrassing fact..
It sounds like your day was busy but that’s great u have the interns, to help with your work AND to entertain u with gossip as well, lol, since they are all female :) I was so happy to read that u are not bothered by my messages & infact encourage them cuz I feel the exact same way about yours… I love talking to u as well,, & I smile whenever I see something from u :) Well I know u are prob going to the party soon if u haven’t gone already but if u get a chance later or tomorrow I would absolutely love to know how it went :) Talk to u soon dr Z ..
hey u are back :) :)
first of all do not even worry about spelling or grammar mistakes ever ,, with my spelling/grammar i would never notice anyway, lol...so it sounds like u had an awesome time!! that is so great & i am smiling just hearing about it.. & the dinner sounds like it was perfect (complete with broccoli, yea!).. & although formal is uncomfortable i bet u looked very good (& handsome) :) im not sure what the game Celebrities is i guess, but now u have me curious..i might have to look that one up.. ohh so was the feuding couple there tonite? & if so was it all good?
Idiocracy was def a great movie ! & yes, its kinda scary, esp the first part where they show, well, i will just b mean here & call them the dirtballs, reproducing like crazy. I just now listened to your friend's YouTube clip & its very funny, lol, i will haave to listen to more of them..
& yes u were def a very cute kid growing up im sure of that & what happened i think is that that just continued now on into your adulthood only the term cute changed to things like very handsome & attractive :) Thats soooo funny u were always climbing on things as a kid , i can totally relate cuz i got stuck with the name monkey by the adults, lol, & im not even joking,. & that is also so funny about u & your tornado gear,, i didnt see twister tho so im not sure what the belt or pipe would b for, lol... & about basements, yeah, please no basement punishment.. when my brother really wanted to freak me out , he would get me to come downstairs , (& i used to fall for it, many times) & put me in a big cardboard box turned upside down in a way it was hard to get out, then turn off all the lights & run upstairs & close the door...nice brother huh?lol
My night has been very nice actually,, i put my phone ringer on mute so i wouldnt b tempted to answer bryan & after Idiocracy i started a marathon of American Dad on Hulu,, right now im watching the episode Your debt your life & this one is really making me laugh...
So are u in your pjs, relaxing with bruce now?
ok, so first of all u are not average in any way, in any stretch of the imagination! so, now that that is cleared up,, yes! Celebrities def does sound like alot of fun, & i cant believe u have never called & invited me to play it before, oh thats right, u still cant call, lol...but now im wondering if there is a way to only have certain peoples ring come thru, im sure there is, i dont read instructions...ever.. so there is today's random fact, lolWith bryan u are right i do need to b more assertive,, well pretty much with everyone i suppose, ... but today was just not a day to deal with him for me,, i get mad all over again whenever i think about last night,, which prob sounds kind of stupid, but at the same time it did throw me off somewhat & i dont need that right now..
so for todays health report: with the treadmill i was on it for 35 minutes, which is about all my boredom will allow for, improved from 15 minutes pre-adderall. i usually have the pace at anywhere from 5.6 to 6.2,, for dinner, well, not so good., i had literally No appetite..so i drank a mello yello zero (very good non diet tasting if u like citrus) & had a few candy cane kisses,,which i would classify as scrumptious (yes, good word choice! lol) however..but that has been it ,, sorry :(
I have actually been in my pjs since like 7 pm , lol..& yes, my little, well, not so little Bella, is here next to me making those funny sleep noises that she does so well....
so are u going to b up for alittle while u think or are u feeling tired after the party?
Lol! Yes u are such a bad, bad guy for not inviting me before u knew me & then no way to do so even after u did know me, lol…terrible really.. & no,, don’t worry I didn’t take that at all as a put down, , I just know assertiveness is def something I have had issues with lately in particular,, any kind of assertiveness with my ex was crushed & stomped on,, so this is def something I will have to work on.. & youre right, there is no reason to think about last night right now, it will just make me upset all over again & serve no purpose.. & thank u for offering to let me vent,, but I wouldn’t do that to u, I want to tell u positive & happy things as much as I can & I don’t ever want to be a complainer kind of person either..
Adderall definitely takes away the gym routine boredom & helps actually with getting a lot of boring things done.. I meant to tell u thank u for the nice compliment about me being beautiful just the way I am,, I don’t think ive ever felt that way, well prob a lot of girls actually,, but in any case that was very sweet :)
I promise u, & u have my word, I will eat something good tomorrow..:) & I loveee mello yello…& then when they came out with Zero it was even better,, as u know I love sugar, but just not in soda, for whatever reason..
& your random question is easy for me to answer..& my answer might b the most boring one, but I would pick right here, the US , & for sooo many, many reasons, so to make a long story really really long: for all the criticism I trust the system here, I don’t have to worry about civil wars or govt turmoil, or getting shot for my religion or beliefs since they can be anything here,, I speak only English, I blend in here, there are about a thousand fast food choices, I don’t have to worry about water that makes u sick to drink,, the best medical care is available here if I would need it, u don’t have to wait 9 months for things like CT scans, friend & family are here, I feel safe here…& probably many other things I could ramble on about but I will spare u that,lol….. I do want to say however there are prob 1000 diff places in the world I would love to visit, I just wouldn’t want to get stuck there probably…
& no facebook acct? lol.. what the...? jk,... but seriously tho, why not? lol :)
& sorry this response took so freakin long, i know lol,, i had typed it & when i clicked reply it disappeared! so this is the re-do..
Well, to start with your last question.. (& this guy i am messaging is sooo anything BUT random, lol..).. anyway, it is SO very difficult for me to stop messaging this anything but random guy, for one thing...also this weird thing happens to my energy where it goes up 1or 2 or 12 levels, lol, when i am messaging/chatting with him, ..not sure what that is about but i'll take it :) But honestly he is the only reason im up right now, i was done watching American Dad long ago, lolok & one last comment on this thing with bryan before we dont discuss it anymore right now.. i agree i wouldnt have gotten up & moved prob at one time, so thank u for pointing that out to me, i swear sometimes u know me so well its so very crazy & so amazing...:) i like it btw
Concerning this country, it has def faltered im with u there & there are many many many flaws,, i was just basing my thoughts more on what some of the alternatives could b, & how much worse it could be, esp if youre a woman, come to think of it ...& i just watched that clip & i absolutely loved it! that really was awesome,,thank u for sharing ,,,i love your clips, please send them as liberally as youd like, any time, :) & on an unrelated note, if u wanted to move to the great nation of the East Coast i wouldnt probably argue with that, lol..
Hmm, where would i like to visit... thats a tough one esp since ive never been anywhere.. it would have to prob b somewhere not too cold, although actually i did go to toronto once & had an awesome, awesome time..but that was in a summer month,, ok but back to the question.. i would love to go to someplace like israel with all of its history but wayy too scared of the mid east... spain would b a good choice , i love the beach, imagine that, lol,, i think south africa sounds absolutely beautiful, & they have beaches there...so yeah, that is something i would have to think more about actually....
so how are u doing now? are u feeling tired ? what time do u have to work anyway?
ok good :) i just wanted to check & make sure about your morning ,,,, i didnt want to make u have a miserable day tomorrow by keeping u up too late is all :) But i am feeling energized as well!& yeah that is very true about u listening to me, u do listen like no one ive ever met, im very sure about that..& tons more than any guy ive ever met,.. its one of your many, many awesome qualities that i admire so much about u thats for sure..i mean i know its part of your job as well to do that for people on a daily basis but even so u have real talent for it that i bet many even in your own profession dont have :)
I would absolutely love to take advantage of the phone service btw :) ..i guess maybe i was waiting for a cue to come from u since i dont know with your schedule when a good time would b? but i would love to do that anytime..
so, king of hyperlinks, that is very very cool that u are considering coming back east :) i think its very funny u were only in WV once 'to your knowledge'...which makes me think u are worried u may have been here other times but possibly kidnapped with your eyes covered at the time taken here..or in some sort of black out state, lol.. But in any case if u ever need a tour guide around the great state of wv i probably could come up with one,, lol
I LOVE the reason u really like Ireland, lol,, that is so awesome...France , Italy & Greece all sound wonderful too,, i have always wanted to go to paris, actually.. even tho i know theres no beach there, lol...but thats not a stipulation by any means...now im not so sure about south africa tho...& thats so cool about the French passport....
so are u watching tv ? youre not reading work related stuff right now right? lol
ok,,'the word', lol jk... thats funny tho that u werent wanting to seem pushy & i was waiting for u to push concerning the phone system.. i sense a new chat to your neighborhood coming very soon tho , lol..i was just teasing u about the wv trip (s) , which i know u know.. but it is very cute u are such a heavy sleeper youre not sure where youve been,...cute & risky, depending on who your friends were, lol
Yes, Paris sounds absolutely wonderful, i will def have to go there someday... i know i told u my parents are actually going to several places in dec & im not going but my mom actually brought it up again not long ago , i guess its still not too late for me, but im just not sure i want to go with mom & dad.. theyre going to fly to Prague, then go to Budapest, some place in Germany maybe she said?, but then Vienna for sure.. oh yeah, no more travel talk, sorry, i forgot.. so now u need to return your passport to the safe, or not, lol...a spontaneous trip to anywhere is never a bad idea...
Most spontaneous thing.... wow...all im coming up with are irresponsible things, lol,, um, ok once in HS my boyfriend & i took off to florida over spring break without really planning it , we just started driving south until u couldnt drive any further cuz we were in key west, lol...& without really telling our parents the truth, of course they found out the truth,, but over all it was probably worth it, its one of my better HS memories, if thats what u want to call it... how about u? i bet u have done many many spontaneous things..
& in between talking to u i have been cleaning/putting things away in this room,, i go between have everything exactly in its place to having stacks of like mail, or books or crosswords that pile up, so i was fixing that..
oh wow! LOL...12-13 hrs for an In N Out burger, all the way to las vegas, lol, that is so funny, as well as the "guy telepathy",,..these must b some really special burgers tho, u are making me very curious about them...& that is extremely cool if u guys started a tradition like that, lol... i love that news spread across campus & professors were involved too! & yeah we had a lot of fun in florida but im not sure how we thought we were going to get away with that, never mind the fact im a terrible liar..lol& of course im still up talking to u, i have no 'shut off' when it comes to our conversations, & therein lies the reason its so hard to say goodnight everytime :) & u havent kept me from anything, dont worry about that & even if u did, this is more important & what i wanted to do.. :) but i know u have to work so i think i should let u get alittle sleep probably? im going to b feeling bad for u all day otherwise, & prob worry that youre ok...
:) im so happy u feel the same way about our conversations...i agree i could keep doing this indefinitely i think, lol.. but i will say goodnight to u too & i will def have a good & happy mornings sleep now :) u have a wondrful day as well,.. & will talk to u very soon! goodnight dr Z :) :)
good morning dr Z :)
i slept well but still got up kind of early, which was ok because i actually still have alot of energy..& my mood is VERY good after talking to u last night :) I love talking to u & had so much fun last night too! I hope u are doing ok tho, cuz i know u had to get up early & of course i worry about u... i hope your day is easy so u can relax & not feel too exhausted ...hope to talk to u very soon dr Z, & maybe we can try the phone system then :)
Hi dr Z :) it feels like a really long time since I talked to u now, & I honestly really feel that way too, lol. did u have a busy day? I hope if u did u were feeling ok enough to handle it, although u did say u have a history of going to work with no sleep… I still worried about u & was thinking about u & how u must be feeling.. I felt kinda weird but ok & awake today, but regardless, like u said it was sooo worth it!, ,, im just now starting to feel it tho from last night I think..
So I meant to get here earlier but u have probably guessed already what happened today, ,which is that bryan came over & I did let him in. he brought me flowers & said he was sorry & didn’t know why he thought that it would b funny to do that to me the other night but he realizes now that was a mistake due to the way it upset me.. I didn’t want him over at all though cuz seeing him still made me really angry & I am not even sure this was sincere from him, I mean how do I know he wont do something like that again? Or worse? And he said things like he knew my ex was horrible & he didn’t want me mixing him up with my ex but how is he going to say that & then do something like he did? & since my ex as we know isn’t capable of love the only reason he must have been with me was for sex & now it feels like that’s all that bryan wants from me too.. & maybe I am completely wrong about that, I hope so,,,,,so ok im done ranting now, sorry..
So i did want to tell u this story,, bryan did try to make me laugh tho at one point & reminded me of how crazy I am,, we were talking about skiing, & here is today’s random fact about me: I like to keep my things nice, you know like car, bike , skis, those sorts of things, but maybe alittle obsessional with it at times. Anyway he reminded me about when we were skiing last yr & at one point on the slope half way down there was a more flat area before u go down the next part,, so anyway I had stoppd to wait for bryan & while I stood there I thought I saw a scratch on the tip of one of my literally brand new atomic skiis so right in the middle of the slope I decided to try to touch the tip to see if it really was a scratch,, meanwhile skiers are whizzing by me & bryan came up laughing so hard & was like wth are u doing lauren?? Lol because really there was no way to reach that far #1 & #2 I was going to get plowed down by the other skiers, lol…. & all I said to bryan was don’t u worry about why Im trying to touch my skis , lol,, (it turns out there was no scratch btw , lol)
Well im in my pjs now & bryan is gone & im just trying to relax now & I hope u have been able to do the same this evening :) oh I wanted to tell u I did eat as I promised u & that mcdonalds right now has 2 pumpkin pies for $1 :) & you’ll know if im lying about anything (such as eating) even on chat prob cuz I really truly suck at it , lol whenever u think is a good time we can try the phone system,, or if u want to try it tomorrow that’s cool too… are u in pjs too yet?