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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about this frustrating situation.
Could you please tell me about your biggest fears about current situation? You said you suspect your wife has not been faithful, right? Coudl you describe what led you to believe this?
so what do u think could be the cause of this
Many factors could lead to this behavior, and there is no way to know but through a complete evaluation. If this behavior has been present for long enough and undermined your marital life, then it is obvious you need to do something about it. One one hand to identify if she suffers of a sleep disorder, and two, if you have a serious marital problem or not, since you said you suspect infidelity, which is very serious.
Sleepsex is one of the terms used to refer to this behavior, present in some sleep disorder, and to find out she would need to get complete evaluation at a sleep clinic. Depending on findings a course of treatment would be discussed and developed.
there has been more than one situation but i found bruises of what looked to be finger prints on her thighs and hotel was reserved on our credit card one night i was in hospital
Could you please tell me more about your biggest fears about this behavior and what yo mentioned about your suspicions around infidelity?
How did she justified such situations-evidence?
acted like i was over reacting said wanted to be close to hospital and was asked to leave, and didnt know what bruises were from
The hotel piece could make sense if your house was far away from the hospital but what about the bruises, was she already presenting this sexual behavior while sleeping or other similar?
Then that is a red flag for sure, and you said it has not been only about an isolated episode but different behaviors leading you to suspect about her fidelity?
Well, in that case then you do not need to witness a sleep disorder with sexual behavior in order to be concerned and to address this serious issue right away.
How have you been coping with and addressing these concerning behaviors for so long then?
I suggest you to get marriage psychotherapy in order to work on your marital problems, and to consider a complete evaluation at a sleep clinic to rule out this possible sexsomnia problem.