Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about your son's situation.
Could you please tell me for how long has your son been depressed and how it started, do you know what led to it?
Why do you fear he may have schizophrenia?
Which are the symptoms and behaviors he presents that concern you this much around depression and possible schizophrenia?
well he has the tendancy towards negative thinking .he was a brilliant but very sensitive child to begin with in school.but he did not top in final year of school and since then the trend started.My husband had blurted once the term schizophrenia in one of our discussions over his depressed mood.
Please tell me more abut this "negative thinking " tendency and comment on his sensitivity and how it affects him.
symptoms which worry me the most: though outwardly he presents himself good he is never happy in his mind.he has a very low self image.
I see, then he really has very low self-esteem but know how to appear fine in front of other people, right?
he cannot take even a passing comment of criticism lightly.he had to struggle a lot to cope with his engineering curriculum and faced two failures which turned out to be mistakes by university in revaluation
yes you are right.In the job scenario too he his scared that he wont be able to deliver .[
You said that the "subject" or academic-career path does not interest him, correct? Did he used to enjoy it? How he chose to work on this degree and what has kept him there is feeling this bored and not feeling nay interest in it?
I don't mind him being an introvert or quiet as long as he his happy within
That sounds very wise and supportive
Then what has led him into this depression and to stay into a program that does not motivate nor fulfill him?
that is the socially admired thing
and he cannot project himself a quitter
Base in what you are describing here, what I see points at a person who may have serious self-esteem problems, a poor sense of self-worthiness, limited coping skills. perhaps high levels of anxiety and depressed mood. If he has chosen this career mostly because of the professional and financial status it could offer to him, while he does not feel truly happy, fulfilled and specially skillful in this area, then it would not be a healthy choice and life style for him as a student nor as a profesisonal if he graduates.
Then he may have serious issues around perfectionism, codependency, and obsessive thinking, which are each tough and together overwhelming, most times leading to depression because of the inability to cope with the stress he causes against himself
These seem to be clear to me, but I do not see any symptom of any psychotic disorder here, like schizophrenia. How is his relationship with his father?
his father is a writer and an engineer businessman who did very well in a short span and lost also fast and is struggling to re-establish.he is obstinately outspoken and at te sametime gentle and passionate.my son cannot open his mind freely to him though in oter matters they are good chatters[cricket politics etc]when it comes to emotional opening he speaks to me that too after a lot of digging
I feel he seeks appreciation from his father who never gives it on face
The initial bonding and attachment developed with both parents is fundamental in the way a child's personality develops, and a father deeply shapes a son's sense of esteem, worthiness, confidence, will power, coping and much more. Perhaps the fact that he is more an introverted person, the expectations and circumstances he has experience in his relationship with both of you, but specially with his father have deeply impacted in the development of these tendencies, behaviors and on his personality.
It makes sense then it is very sad indeed. Again I do not believe, based on your words that your son has schizophrenia or any other mental illness, bu may suffer of severe depression, anxiety and personality problems. These are mental health disorders, and when present for longer than six months, require professional support through psychotherapy.
He truly needs to work on himself with sound support, otherwise these disorders would worsen and undermine his mental health, mood, functionsing, relationships and well-being even more.
I do not believe he mostly needs a psychiatrist, since he/she would put him on psychiatric medication, which could only superficially numb some symptoms of anxiety, while creating additional issues and pushing side effects. His rehabilitation process must be focused on psychological work on himself with professional support, and ideally with your support, including family psychotherapy or at least counseling.
If his father in unwilling to support him that way, please do take the initiative and look for it, since it would help him a lot to have your support with a very assertive, insightful and compassionate approach.
you are so right.his father and I have tried to counsel him time and again.we have given all freedom to choose to do whatever he wishes but he is still treading unsure grounds and with our counselling he is good for some days but goes int remittance soon.as a child he was rich now our financials are bad and he has just begun to earn.we have no good counsellers available here.could he chat with you.will it help
Spoiling a child could be as bad or worse than abusing him, man many times parents out of love and caring do spoil children while unaware of how damaging it could be for their personalities and mental health. I would love to support you with confidential counseling. Yes, this is possible through a new program that allows people who require professional counseling services to receive them from professionals.
I myself was like him but my husband has played a major role in bringing me out of it .but still it is a lifelong internal struggle
I see, n doubt it could be overwhelming, and tough to work on it, but necessary and worthy for sure, since it is about your health, happiness and well-being.
I would love to know about the program and I think my son will agree to it
This is the way it would work. You would need to post your request directed to me - Rafael- under the "Relationship" category, you would choose the lower fee option, and once I receive your request, I will send you an invitation for counseling services, with necessary information. Once you accept it, the system would charge your account and allow us to share contact information and schedule your confidential counseling session.
Please post your question-request directly though my profile here: http://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/expert-rafael-morales-toia/
Remember to choose Relationship category if the system gives you the option to select the nature of your question. OK?
thank you very much for your support.i am already feeling relieved.i shall definitely avail of this opportunity when my son is home.
You're very welcome. Thank you so much for your trust. I feel honored by it and would love to support you with confidential counseling.
thank you for your time.i will say bye for now ,then
After you rate this session, feel free to post your request-question addressed to me through link provided and I will reply in an hour with necessary information.
Bye for now. Thanks
(Please do not forget to rate session, thanks).