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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4536
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My wife and I have been married for 16 years and have 3 beautiful

Resolved Question:

My wife and I have been married for 16 years and have 3 beautiful children. My wife told me last night that she is not that interested in sex and that she has anxiety attacks when she goes to bed, because she doesn't want to disappoint me. We make love once a week and i always want her to orgasim (she sometimes doesn't want any kind of assistance and just assists me). I love her deeply and just thought the kids were mostly to blame if we didn't make love, but now know that is not the case. What can I/we do to change this trend.
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that your wife has been having this level of anxiety and is not as interested in sex as she once was

Dr. Z :

May I ask, are the anxiety attacks what makes her not want to have sex anymore, or is it a general loss of libido?

Dr. Z :

Or both?

Customer:

not sure, she wants to lose weight and is not happy with the way she looks. Maybe I put too much pressure on her, I love making love.

Dr. Z :

Well the best treatment protocol for this would be a dual approach of therapy and medications typically. The therapy should be with a certified Sex therapist or a therapist that specializes in Sex Therapy (I say this because Certified Sex Therapist are usually very few and mostly near major metropolitan areas). Most Sex Therapists use an individualized version of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is the most evidence based treatment for anxiety and sexual issues as well.

Dr. Z :

In addition, the best medication for this would be Bupropion (Wellbutrin) as it is an anti-depressant that has anti-anxiety benefits too. Also it can help restore libido, and actually promotes weight loss. Here is an article describing how well it promotes libido in women and helps them achieve orgasms too

Dr. Z :

So the Wellbutrin would accomplish a lot for your wife by helping her lose weight, lessening her psychological symptoms, and helping her regain her libido to be interested in sexual intercourse again

Dr. Z :

But this medication only helps with the symptoms, which is why therapy is a must as it can help "cure" her of these issues for a longer and sustained period of time, but therapy takes time and the Wellbutrin will start to be effective in approximately 3 weeks and then reach its maximum effectiveness in 6-9 weeks.

Customer:

Can you recommend any good therapists in Manitoba, we live in Gimli but we can travel

Dr. Z :

Sure give me a few minutes to try to compile a list for you

Customer:

Do we need a prescription for the wellbutrin?

Dr. Z :

Yes you would need a prescription for Wellbutrin from either your general practitioner or a psychiatrist, which ever you prefer

Dr. Z :

So these are a list of therapists in Winnipeg that specialize in Sex Therapy, this was the closest city. The first link is a Certified Sex Therapist, so these are usually exceptionally trained. And the other 4 links are qualified therapists that specialize in Sex Therapy, but may not be certified.

Dr. Z :

Do you have any questions or concerns?

Dr. Z :

Are you still there?

Customer:

That info was great, thanks

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4536
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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