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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My 7 year old daughter has a very good friend/neighbor/schoolmate,

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My 7 year old daughter has a very good friend/neighbor/schoolmate, a boy who is the same age. They spend a lot of time together and get along really well. His mother and I have noticed that they have become physically affectionate with each other, mostly hugging and soft tickling. There is NO kissing and NO touching of genitalia. We are wondering how to handle this. Is this inappropriate? Should we say something to them?
Thank you.
Sarah

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For children this age to develop close friendships promoting their good mood, socialization, development, growth process , coping skills and just to enjoy their age is wonderful and should be supported and motivated. ,

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do not see ay unhealthy behavior in what you have described here, and as long as you provide good and consistent sexual education to your daughter, there should be no issue.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What's your biggest fear?

Customer:

I am aware that I am probably projecting my own fears as a sexual abuse survivor. I also remember exploring my sexuality in an inappropriate way and at an inappropriate age with other children whenI was growing up. I fear that their affection will evolve into something inapprotriate

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know you underwent sexual abuse as a child.and can see why you feel this concerned, and how aware you are about the nature of your fears, and I agree with you, since this is a normal reaction for most people in your shoes, it shows you care, love and want to protect your daughter from any suffering and abuse

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can tell you that sexual behavior between children, even from infancy is totally normal, from observing to touching, and most times it is driven by curiosity, and then as part of normal development and growth, and as long as they receive good sexual education and healthy parenting and support, even those sexual behaviors should not be considered as negative. In this case, I do not see any negative behavior here, please work on your feelings and fears, in order to feel more comfortable and to enjoy more your parental experience, which is unique and a real blessing, even more now that your child is this young.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do recommend this books as excellent tools for sexual education that parents could use to make a very good job, instructing themselves on how to support their children, while they learn about it: Let's Talk About Sex, Asking About Sex and Growing Up, and It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families

Customer:

Yes. Thanks so much

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Thank you for your trust. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible.

Customer:

I appreciate that. I am happy to have found this resource.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am glad to know it's been this helpful. Thanks. Take good care.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

(Please do not forget to rate session before you leave the chat. Thanks).

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