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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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how to help my adult mildly retarded child from transferring

Resolved Question:

how to help my adult mildly retarded child from transferring all of her negative feelings towards me. She feels has turned white because she attended a square dance weekend party and hates it. Now I am the object of all of anger both realistic and unrealistic. What should I be doing. She also has had several recent deaths in the family. Indeed she has transferred her negative feelings of loss and others to me and blames me for all of her problems. What should be my response.
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 9 months ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me more about your daughter and her abusive behaviors?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long has she been this abusive towards you?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You said she has mild mental retardation, but also has a psychiatrist. Which mental health disorders she has been presenting?

Customer:

She is fuzzy towards me. She jumps when I speak or enter the room. She is obedient but anxious. This behavior for last 4 days. unrealistic ideas for years. She is depressed and bi polar which schizophrenic unreal ideas.

Customer:

She is tense all the time. She exhibits anger both in the home and at the workshop she attends.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, I am very sorry to know about her serious mental health situation, Each one of these disorders are truly challenging, but if they appear together, no doubt things could easily get overwhelming.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Is she only this way towards you, not towards your husband , relatives or other people?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Which are the therapeutic programs she has been committed to in order to work on her rehabilitation?

Customer:

She is the way towards me primarily. She has also been this way towards my husband. I am told she was quite angry at the workshop too. She however blames me for all of her problems especially turning white.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see. Could you please comment on the last questions about the treatments she has been receiving?

Customer:

she receives monthly psychiatric therapy. she receives weekly therapy at her workshop. it is geared for people with mental health problems.. she is on psychiatric medication and takes it as prescribed. it has been recommended that one of her meds be changed from latuda to Geodon but she refuses saying I am crazy, not her.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then the only treatment she receives besides of psychiatric drugs is through this workshops she attends once a week?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please tell me more about these workshops? What about individual, group and family psychotherapy; and about other therapeutic interventions?

Customer:

She is fairly cooperative with both the workshop and her individual therapist (psychiatrist). She is committed to her treatment. She just reached a snag and can't seem to get out of it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then her psychotherapist s also a psychiatrist.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For people who present mild retardation, and bipolar disorder with psychotic symptoms, it is essential to keep consistent individual psychotherapy, including therapies where she could actually develop and improve more assertiveness, insight about reality and sense of respect and responsibility.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

These therapies can only be helpful if the daily life activities support this therapeutic process, where the person has responsibilities and productive activities allowing her to make of her rehabilitation process. development and learning processes concrete realities; otherwise the person would tend to worsen her mood, insight and ability to cope and share, to promote a healthy and more fulfilling life.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Whenever she presents any abusive behavior, you would need to immediately confront those unacceptable behaviors, while keeping your own emotional control, showing her that you can cope with those situations and that you cannot be manipulated by her.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Once you confront abusive or unhealthy behaviors, you set and confirm healthy boundaries, and do not engage in any form codependent discussion with her, in this way she would know that it would be useless to act out her anger and abusive ways against you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer:

It makes sense. I am trying to see how I can utilize it on a daily basis. So do not accept abusive behavior towards myself. Does not include negative name calling. So far I try not to react to them. Should I try to stop that too?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Mild mental retardation limits her cognitive abilities but should never justify any form of abusive behavior, which should be immediately and consistently confronted in assertive ways, supported by your husband and other family members, and directly addressed by her psychotherapist in her sessions.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, please, do never allow any form of abuse, since that could only distort her personality enabling further abuse and dysfunction.

Customer:

I will encourage my husband to be supportive of me. he has unrealistic guilt feelings and at times defends her when she is wrong. I will let him know about this conversation and perhaps he will help her this time.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Name calling, nor any other form or verbal abuse is acceptable under any circumstance. the same way you educate and support a little child development and learning processes, with healthy affection and sound discipline, you need to do the same towards her, even more consistently since she is an adult and knows very well what is wrong and unacceptable and what is not.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do work on it together and with the psychotherapist' active support, since what you are describing here does show personality disorders, fueling her acting out in these abusive ways, more than a direct consequence of mild mental retardation or bipolar, which obviously get worsened by her abusive and distorted personality an behavioral patterns.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please do so, since this is something you need to work on as a team, eradicating any form of codependent enabling, and the guilt you just mentioned, could have been doing just that, sabotaging her rehabilitation process and the support you need to provide.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is the link for our session: http://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/83h9g-help-adult-mildly-retarded-child-transferring.html

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust

Customer:

Thanks for your help.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing to support you.

Customer:

You indeed helped

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am glad to know that. Please take gentle care and consistent action.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

(Please do not forget to rate session before leaving chat. Thanks).

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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