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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello Bill My wife and i have serious miscommunication issues.

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Hello Bill

My wife and i have serious miscommunication issues. she gets upset if i talk to freind , smile at a sales lady , talk to my parents , my sister etc. who ever is nice to me is an enemy to her. she is saying that all of them are bad and are conspiring against her. she like me talking to her parents and her relatives and very much supports that. she never comes with me if i have an invitaion from my freinds or relatives. she picks up a fight i ask her to speak or to be nice to any of my parents ,friends , relatives etc. After marriage i had various humiliating and embarrassing situations because of her indifferent attitude. she left the house and did not come back till evening when my sister visited our house. now we have two kids. i was active in the church and choir. she was very much against me doing that. now i have stopped going to church. i am scared to even talk or smile at a friend when she is with me. no body calls me on phone now a days. My parents passed away within one year of my marriage, i have one sister. if my sister even phones me she will get upset and will start creaming and swearing . she walks out if i try to defend. my elder child is now two and a half year old. my child is having to see all these daily fights and ugly siituvation. poor child looks confused . my home is becoming hell. what do i do.
Anoop

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

Bill is actually not online right now and has not come online very often in the last 3 months, but I would be happy to help you with your situation and concern if you like

Customer:

yeah sure

Dr. Z :

Okay, so for how long has your wife been behaving this way if I may ask?

Customer:

we are married for 4 years now

Customer:

all 4 years its been like tis

Dr. Z :

And before the marriage was she like this?

Customer:

i dont know , in fact it was an arranged marriage , we knew each other only six months before our marriage, she was quite normal at that time

Customer:

not this possessive

Dr. Z :

Okay that is understandable, does she hold grudges frequently?

Customer:

yes, it gets worse if i have to go out for some time, she creates all drama before i go

Customer:

her brother is a chronic schizophrenic, family is very conservative , never gets along with other people , always talks negative about others

Dr. Z :

And how old is your wife?

Customer:

she loves her sisters family and her parents very much, and behaves very well

Customer:

she has very few liked relatives and is very nice to those

Customer:

she frames stories about my family parents sister relatives etc and always try to prove that they are all bad people

Dr. Z :

So she can behave appropriately in from of her family and relative, but not others. I believe that your wife may have a personality disorder called Paranoid Personality Disorder or possibly a Delusional Disorder Paranoid Type. Here are some links describing them in more detail for you.

Dr. Z :

Most likely she does not have schizophrenia as she is able to control her behavior around certain people, while a true person with schizophrenia is not able to do so.

Dr. Z :

But because her brother has a psychotic disorder, there is a greater likelihood for her to get one as well as genetic studies show strong sibling genetic factors involved with these disorders

Customer:

yes , she doesnt have schizophrenia, certain times/rarely she manages to behave well, i could see that she had struggled very much to do so

Customer:

how do i treat her

Dr. Z :

Well the best and most effective treatment is for intensive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and the possible use of antipsychotic medications. The CBT therapy should be done by a professional psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist

Dr. Z :

This is a difficult situation for you, but self-help therapies will usually prove ineffective for this disorder

Customer:

i see , is there any advice you would like to me on how to handle things in these circumstances as i most of the times get disheartened and weak seeing these things

Dr. Z :

Well I would like to recommend a couple books for you to help you interact with her and support her through this. But the best advice is to get her into treatment as soon as possible and CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen. So if you try to support her by providing objective view points this will help her treatment. Give me a minute to get you those book ideas

Dr. Z :

So two of these books are specific for Schizophrenia, but the same principles apply to your wife's 2 possible disorders, because of the delusions and paranoia.

Dr. Z :

These are from the U.S. based website but I am confident that you can find them online from any store you choose to use

Customer:

ok , i shall refer to these , thank you very much sir

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help and I hope that your wife gets the treatment that she needs. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. Before

Dr. Z :

Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much

Customer:

sure i would do that sir, thank you very much

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome :)

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