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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4826
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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pre mature ejacuelation. ive had a experience with a

Resolved Question:

pre mature ejacuelation. ive had a sexual experience with a woman who did not reach me on a sexual level. this was my problem. i required alot of phisical stimulation to become erect, and lasted only a few seconds.

on the other hand a woman who gave me the proper time, i lasted long enough that she reached a climax first and i only climaxed when i focused on the pleasure.

i do not think i have a problem however. i am not a professional. is their a way to mentally
avoid an accident? does my body ejaculate fast only because my subcouncious treats the situation as a masterbation like " get her done" moment?
how can i prevent such embarrisments?
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 9 months ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that you are having this difficulty currently, I can imagine how distressing this can be for you

Customer:

thank you i am very concerned however i remain with a positive attitude

Dr. Z :

I think regarding the pre-mature ejaculation it is psychological in nature and not just because in your subconscious you viewed it as a "get her done" moment, but also because you were not sexually compatible with the woman like you stated

Customer:

i have to note that during my positive sexual encounter fore play was accounted for, and mabie this may count perhaps not. i was taking a half dose of a testosterone pill called enpulse

Dr. Z :

Foreplay can be really important for you and maybe that is something that you need to really get started with your sexual arousal and that is what you meant by her giving you the proper time. This is a personal question, but may I ask how often would you say that you masturbate on a regular basis?

Customer:

i want to say 5 times a week.

Customer:

lets call that an average.

Dr. Z :

Okay that is a good amount, sometimes individuals who masturbate too frequently, like 5 times a day, and yes that does happen can have sexual dysfunction issues. Yes I would agree your masturbation rate is average. I think you are more of a sensual person and enjoy taking your time and foreplay more to get you sexually aroused

Dr. Z :

This is your preference, and there is nothing wrong with it as we all have our particular preferences when it comes to sexual intimacy

Customer:

if your intending that i cant enter a situation pre cocked sorta speak. or like quagmires "epatchie penis e nay chuck"

Customer:

than yes. i cant not do that

Customer:

can not do that...

Dr. Z :

Are you talking about Quagmire from Family Guy?

Customer:

yea... im just trying to give an example of what i think i should be like..

Dr. Z :

No I understand, I am little behind in watching Family Guy so I do not remember that particular reference, but I know the character. I think you do not have an issue and if you want to mentally avoid this scenario in the future, then you can use more foreplay in your sexual intimacy and take your time, which most women like a lot, and that should work well for you.

Dr. Z :

You can try sexual therapy as well, but truthfully I do not think you need it for this issue as I do not believe that you have true premature ejaculation, I just think you were not sexually motivated because you were not sexually aroused due to the lack of chemistry between you and the woman you first described.

Dr. Z :

Also you may have had some anxiety related to these being "escorts" as well and many men have anxiety when they hire an escort and that can cause these issues too

Customer:

ok so it is somewhat normal for guys to also need an emotional warm up, also. but what brings on the sudden need to release?

Dr. Z :

It is normal and common for some men as they need that intimacy and closeness to achieve sexual arousal and go for a longer time during the sexual intercourse.

Customer:

she was using her hand to get me hard and almost made me after just a moment so i stopped her long enough to loose the sensation but not long enough to loose the erection. then about 5 strokes in i came and it seemed like the muscle to hold it in just wasnt strong enough to suppress it

Dr. Z :

I can recommend some therapy techniques for anxiety, but your issue may continue if you are still not given the proper amount of foreplay that helps you to get aroused.

Dr. Z :

Well you could have been very excited and the anticipation is what caused your to ejaculate sooner than you wanted, this occurs with men and can be caused as an anxious reaction

Customer:

if you can just recomend a good audio book on sexual anxiety that would be very helpful, however i fear reading alone will not help me conquer this...

Dr. Z :

Well can I ask, have you had a sexual relationship with a woman before you started seeing escorts?

Customer:

my experience in my opinion is lacking for sure. i have not had many women refer to me as a boyfriend as much as a friend. however i have alot of female friends however i cant seem to seal the deal. i need to work on my sudduction i assume.

Customer:

but to anser your question i have had one woman of 6 months before ive started the escourt services to boost confidance and experience

Customer:

it ended due to a poor sexual experience

Customer:

i work on the road and the amount of sexual encounters were about 4... which is the ammount of times i was at home

Dr. Z :

Okay so you are relatively inexperienced in your own words regarding sexual intercourse, most men in the beginning of sexual intercourse frequently ejaculate very quickly because of the excitement, this is very common

Customer:

the ammount of escourts is also 4. 1 good 3 bad

Dr. Z :

One method you can try by yourself or even with a partner is to masturbate close to climax and then stop preventing you from ejaculating. This will help you get better control of those muscles

Dr. Z :

There are not many audio books on this issue, but this is a good book on the subject

Customer:

but im not that excited. their is no heart racing expierence, i enter the situation knowing the outcome, it just seems like my body gives up and i just release

Dr. Z :

Also this website has a 35 minute audio on Sexual Performance Anxiety too

Dr. Z :

That is most likely because you are not in a relationship with these women. I think you want a relationship and closeness, but you know that is not the case with these women and that leads you to not be as invested with these women

Dr. Z :

The one escort you had a good time with gave you more foreplay and made you believe in a way that you were in a relationship with her (an illusion) because she gave you more personal time and foreplay, which made you more emotionally invested

Dr. Z :

Here is a Premature Ejaculation audiobook that I found, but it is based on hypnosis and hypnotherapy does not have a strong scientific backing from most studies

Customer:

ok i think i understand, however if i accomplish the closeness and relationship with said woman and the problem still persists, i believe i will 100% enter a state of depression and as much as i hate giving up, i fear that ight be the case. the escourts are ment to shake my fears of intamasy and inexperience. can my lack of control also play a factor?

Dr. Z :

Well most sex therapists would tell you that seeing escorts is not a good "cure" for this issue. Right now you are thinking about it a lot, which means it can cause you anxiety or more specifically performance anxiety. The longer foreplay gets you in the mood more and helps you not focus on this issue which gives you a better sexual experience. I can recommend some good techniques that you can practice

Dr. Z :

If you have less anxiety, then most likely this will not occur for you in the future, but for your preference I think the closeness and foreplay are key things for your sexual arousal, just like everyone has their own unique triggers for sexual arousal

Dr. Z :

Also if you really wanted to the "quick fix" to this, it would be medication called a SSRI antidepressant that has been prescribed for people with premature ejaculation issues, but I would not recommend that for you as medication is not a cure, only therapy is a cure. The medication just lessens the symptoms of this.

Customer:

ok i am going to take a serious look into anxiety and discover my weakness. i believe this is a mental problem and medication should be avoided unless diagnosed with pre mature ejacualtion by 2 or more doctors. thank you for the conversation i feel it has helped the situation. i look forward to listening to this audio book

Dr. Z :

I would not recommend the medication either, I just wanted to give you all your options for this issue.

Dr. Z :

I am happy that I was able to help you tonight, I hope that this issue resolves swiftly for you and I believe that the books can help you and if you want me to teach you some anxiety treatment therapy techniques, please let me know. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Dr. Z :

Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much

Customer:

your welcome have a good night

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4826
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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