I was married 22 years, had 2 children (now 22 and 21), had an affair 5 years ago, got divorced 4 years ago and am still seeing the man I had an affair with. The man I had an affair with, was married 27 years, had 3 girls (now 25, 23, 17). Everyone knows we had an affair. It was not pretty. Our girls went to high school together, knew each other. My X and I sat down and told the kids. His wife, turned his kids against him for over 2 years. My x husband and I are on very good terms, and while he is still hurt, he has forgiven me and we have moved forward with the kids' best interests at heart. My children, especially my daughter, was very hurt by my betrayal. We have openly discussed our feelings of hurt, trust and moving forward. My kids have met my boyfriend (breakfast, sushi) and are pretty good. We even did
a few days on vacation. Now my daughter is getting married - thus begins a deeper problem. I told her it was her decision, that I wanted her to be comfortable with him there - or not. She knows that I want him there, despite the fact that my X-husbands entire family knows of the affair, and is a tightly knit family, and they hold a grudge. My daughter is afraid of drama, and out of respect for her dad, doesn't want my boyfriend to attend the wedding. While I respect her decision, I don't agree with it, and I am hurt, because I feel that she is siding with her dad and his family. I just need to know how to get over the hurt - and the fact that his daughter is getting married this summer also - and I will be excluded as well. Can this pattern of exclusion continue in a healthy relationship? We still love each other, do not live together, but date and integrate a good portion of our lives.