How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a 49 year old son (Brett), who can not let go of his

Customer Question

I have a 49 year old son (Brett), who can not let go of his perceived hurt from when he was a child, a young man and a even now, by other members of our family. There is possibly a lot of foundation for his agner, but I can not bear to put up with his shouting and blame putting any more. I am in the middle of moving house and downsizing. I asked him if he wanted to come and collect all the tools and equipment that I can no longer keep & he is staying in our property in a little caravan I gave him, which he tows in a 75 Series Toyota LandCruiser Ute that I gave him. He will be alright for a short time, buit he keeps becoming very aggitated and ranting about everything that his family has done to him. I don't know how much to say on here, but I will give you as muich of an ourtline as I can as quickly as I can. He has problems withj his daughter and Ex- parner who used him to get pegnant, now he wants to but will not have anything to do with daughter or Ex and is very hurt about that. His elder brother (Died at 42 years of age in 2001 - Larry) would not let him have materials to work with from my business which I had to walk away from, after heart surgery & a stroke inm 1981. I gave the business to Larry, because I was in a bad waymyself after the Coronary Artery Bypass Surgery. I am now 78 years of age and have had CFS, Fibromyalgia, Thrombosis, two lopts of CABGs (1981 & 1997) as well as a Stent +/- 2007, Atrial Fibrilation Pacemaker fitted, Pulmonary Embolisms and Spinal problems for which I have had unsuccessful Surgery & attend the RB&WHospital Pain Clinic with Pros Julkia Fleming and need to keep an appointment next FRiday, because of my pain. Brett's sister was supposed to help him get in contact with his daughter (now about 16 ???), took over too much and had a lot of contact without Brett. Now he resents her & her husband and will not have anything to do with her. He says his other sister has taken him down in many ways. Last night he saw some photos on my computer of my 55th wedding anniversary family get together, including some of his Ex and daughter, to which he was not invited, because he has repeatedly said that he will have nothing to do with the family. He ranted last night, but came back later and was quite sociable. This morning my wife went past his caravan ( he usually stays in until 10:00, 11:00 or 12:00 in the morning) and he started out OK, but she gets confused quicklyand they were discussing something about the distance to where we were moving to. She often get muddled about conversations and expresses herself poorly. He became very aggitated while speaking to her and suddenly started shouting and talking about his EX and his daughter being more important than he is and going back over every wrong he sees as being done to him. when he does this there is possibnly a lot of truth in what he says, but he expects me to hhave fixed everything always and it is always that I have done nothing to help him/support him. He is quite abusive swearing and shouting. I knopw he doesn't really mean it, but I am not as good as I was and this is affecting me, my wife & he himself. He needs help urgently. HE was seeing a Government Psychiatrist in Ipswich. His GP (who I believe didn't think treated me very appropriatly and I had to get othert assistance to find out that I had the embolisms in my lungs). because Brett adamitted to him that he had experimented with a few drugs some time previously told the Psychiatrist that Brett was an ongoing drug user. Brett believes that she antagonised him purposly, to make him upset, then told hiom he was a very angry person and called in her bodyguards. For several years he has seen nobody for his mental health problems, but sees and African GP in the Ipswich region, whom Brett more or less tollerates and thinks is OK.

I don't know what to expect today now - not violence - but nobody can live vertyu well or safely with all the problems and yes anger in his head. I am very concerned for his well being. I haven't said yet - Brett is on a disability pension. He seems to be developing all the health problems that I have had, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Embolisma in his lungs, A Thrombosed Jugular vein, for whioch he had trouble getting anyone to believe that he had, an inability to adjust to Warfarin ( as did I). HJe had a motorcycle smash afetr he finidhed his apprenticeship, which he undertook with me, after he resfused to go back and finish Gr.10. I managed to get the Apprenticeship dept to agree even though his levels were below apprenticeship entry at that time. After the smash I did try to help him, but it took a long time fort his badly broken leg to mend and he had pins in it for ages and it rebroke after he left hospital. I ran a family business where I was on call 24/7 doing Industrial Electrical work for over 12 years and I had worked for others in a similar manner for all my working life. Do you have any ideas Bill Pilgrim.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help with this situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your son seems deeply disturbed.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He has issues with every family member in his life, despite the great deal of kindness shown to him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You mentioned that he is the way he is now because of "perceived" hurt (I presume hurts) that he received continuously from childhood until now.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Since you said "perceived" I assume that he is the one perceiving it, rather than you or the rest of your family.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I am assuming that the onset of his condition, which seems to be characterised by exaggerated claims and thoughts of being persecuted.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

came about later in life, rather than in his childhood.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is possible that this behaviour may be due to either his motorcycle accident, or because of extensive drug use.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He was probably thoroughly examined at the time of his crash for head/brain injuries.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He could be examined again for any brain lesions by taking scans.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Although drug use could bring on these symptoms, you would probably know if he was a major drug user. Drugs such as LSD or Exstasy could do this to him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If not, then it is most likely that he may be suffering from a psychotic disorder, called Delusional Disorder, Persecutory Type, in which he believes that he is being in some way intentionally cheated, drugged, followed, slandered, or otherwise mistreated.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

A person with this disorder would otherwise function and behave normally and would not be affected markedly apart from direct consequences of the delusion.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

His psychiatrist should be able to recognise this behaviour but maybe is not capable. I am surprised to hear that she had bodyguards. to protect her, but perhaps he gets very out of hand.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If this diagnosis is actually made, there are medications that will keep him on a more even keel

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your best move is to speak with his psychiatrist or another one and suggest that he may be suffering from Delusional Disorder, as his behaviour fits the symptmoms

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I wish your family great success for the health of all of you including Brett. I shall keep all of you in my prayers, Bill.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHCC

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Sir some of the hurts are quite real. We all have these problems in our lives, but of course some more than others. The problem is that he appears to dwell on everything instead of living a life. He can't seem to rise above any thing that has hurt him the slightesty little bit. As far as I know he hasn't used drugs very much and seems to be offended by a suggestion that he would. I don't believe that the lady Psychiatrist is very capable. A person taking on such a position should be able to read her clients. I believe that as soon as the bodyguards became obvious that any relationship would start to slide down the drain and would be difficult to recover. I had lengthy experience from teaching young and olderr adults. I treated my sdtudents well, but never had one face me down over any problem that occured. My son seems to exagerate his problems, even if they did occur. They are not occuring now except in his mind. I think maybe he wants people punished for past misdeeds no matter how bad or how small. He is very low on confidence and is continually trying to tell me and others how well he can do things. He is really quite capable in many practical areas., but only seems to be able to associate well with people in a low Socio-economic region. I am a little sorry I contasted this site, as it seems that you are not in a p[osition to do much at all. I hadn't realised that you were in the States. Unless you have more solid materiall and places to consult, it appears that you are not able to assist all that much. No professional in Australia would even talk with me about Brett's problem. I need more definite ionformation, about particular professionals or Gov. departments where I may get help for him. I have no money and he has less..


 


Charge me something as I have used the service, but gained little.


 


Regards. Bill Pilgrim.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Bill,

I believe that I have given you more information about Brett than you have received from countless sessions from the cowardly psychiatrist who is afraid of a man with delusions.

Yesterday, at a military base, I interviewd a soldier who had spent 8 years as a marine forward gunner in Afghanistan and Iraq and participated and witnessed in hundreds of killings, and as a result, told me that he had homicidal thoughts and was ready to kill someone "in a heartbeat". I was surrounded by soldiers but I told nobody, took him aside and convinced him to get therapy. I even brought in another therapist from the VA. If you care about your clients you don't fear them and they will never hurt you.

Instead, he gave me a big hug and said "thank you brother for listening to me and hearing me and trusting me."

This psychiatrist is not good and has not told you what I told you.

Your son, most likely, has a psychosis, called Delusional Disorder, Persecutory Type, unless he is otherwise damaged, but I do not think so.

He is psychotic, i.e. severely mentally ill, and will not respond to logic but can be helped with antipsychotic medications or mood stabilisers with the help of a properly trainined and motivated psychiatrist.

I have given you excellent help.

If you just give me positive feedback, I shall be satisfied. I do this for a living, but above that, I do it as a service to others because I love people and because I am effective.

In any case, I hold your family in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

You have done as much as possible. I just need more practical local help. I had observed much of what you say & I don't doubt yopur work or skill.


 


Regards Bill

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Bill.

I do not doubt that you can find some better local help. Its time to start making inquiries as your son's condition will not improve but may deteriorate.

Thank you for your confidence in me. I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Don't know what happened, this program suddenly took my letter to you away. I don't know if you will get it or not. It is only a few words, that do not mean much on their own. I shall not start again as I Am very tired. I am going to have a long hard day (for me) tomorrow and I am still in a lot of pain now. In a couple of days, possibly Sunday or Monday, I am driving to Bundaberg to help my daughter. My family cetainly keeps me busy. I will be glad when I can relax for a long time.


 


My regards & good wishes, Bill Pilgrim.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Bill,

You do put out a lot of love and effort and concern for your children. It will come back to you in future, when you need them.

I am sorry if something you wrote disappeared. All that you have written that was transmitted to JustAnswer is on this page.

I know that you are tired and in great need of some rest. May I suggest that you treat yourself to a fine meal, and then do something relaxing for you - whatever is your heart's desire.

Get a well deserved rest.

I shall keep you and your family in my prayers.

If you need any support, please don't hesitate to get back to me.

Warm regards,

Elliott

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
5114 Satisfied Customers
35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.