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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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a question on narcissism. OKMH1027100

Customer Question

a question on narcissism.

Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help with this situation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are obviously disturbed by his controlling and blaming nature.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You have to become like a bullfighter and let the bull charge you and turn out of the way and let him harmlessly hit your cape.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

In other words, you do not have to respond to his attacks as you have previously.

Customer:

He lives upstairs and I have lived here for 5 years. I knew of his violent and abusive nature for that long. I have stayed out of his radar but it hurts to hear of the fights with his live in girlfriend. Reminds me of my first marriage complete with broken bones.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

A narcissist NEEDS admiration or control.

Customer:

He now has turned his abuse on me because I feel the feral cats and one attacked his.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If he is actually being violent towards his girlfriend, you can call the police. If she is actually injured then it could become a criminal matter.

Customer:

sorry I feed

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I understand what you said. I also feed feral cats. If one attacked him it was probably in self-defense.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You can tell him to mind his own business, or just continue to feed them without responding to him. He is not your boss.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Just agree with him but continue to do as you please.

Customer:

He just yells at her. I have spoken to her in secret and the police were called as you can hear him from the street. He is convinced I did it and now everytime I go outside he watches me and then yells when no one is watching. I have learned to ignore. but the other day, he fought with her and came down stairs and banged on the door and yelled through that she was leaving him and it was all my fault.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Narcissists want to control and dominate.

Customer:

I do understand what you are saying, and you think this will calm him or intice min

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is alright. You can tell him to stop harassing you or you will take him to court.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I also suggest that you keep a recording device at the ready to record any threats or harassment that her perpetrates against you.

Customer:

He has not a lot to loose on that, he was arrested for possession when the police came when they were called and he left weed out when they came in .......which is also my fault.

Customer:

He was trying for a pardon,,,now...which is now my fault.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do not fear him nor show him fear. Narcissists do not like to be resisted and they will leave you alone and find a weaker prey.

Customer:

Really it is funny but I found out not to laughat him

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Why?

Customer:

I laughed at him on the porch while I was feeding the cats and he put the truck in reverse and got out and started telling me my attitude better change or he will make sure I stop laughing

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That is the time to click your recording device on RECORD.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What would he do? Physically assault you?

Customer:

He wont hurt me but he will either poison cats or shoot them or key my car. That is his way

Customer:

Thank you. I will get a recorder and keep it handy. Never thought of that.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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