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RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I havent had many times but what happened with me once

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I haven't had sex many times but what happened with me once the intercourse starts I cannot stay in more than a minute even half a minute and then I ejaculate so the penis goes soft and that does not satisfy my partner. Should I take pills for hardness and last longer? Thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this problem.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

How long ago did you start having this problem?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What you are describing here is known as Premature Ejaculation, this is a common sexual dysfunction, and it could be caused by different psychological and physical factors. Could you please tell me how long ago did this problem start and if it has been this way since then or if some times you can attain and keep good erection lasting longer?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When you masturbate alone or with your partner, do you also present the same problem?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The first step to take here is to make sure you do not have any medical condition causing this dysfunction, in order to know that your primary care physician would have to evaluate you and if everything seems fine with your general health, including your hormones, he would refer you to the urologist for more specialized assessment. If this expert tells you there is no problem at that level either, then you can be sure, this is a psychological problem.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Around %30 of males suffer of this disorder at some time in their lives, most times because of stress and anxiety related problems. Thus as soon as the psychological issues are addressed, the problems goes away.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

First you would need to work on identifying sources of stress-anxiety in your life and developing better coping- stress management skills. You said you haven't have sex many times, which could be an important factor leading to this sexual dysfunction, once you are a young adult but without much experience, what could be associated to different personal factors creating anxiety around this area, as I previously explained. Many times religious beliefs, value system, introversion or shyness, or any other problem could lead the person to experience this dysfunction. It could be temporary or become chronic if untreated.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If it's psychological, the person would need adequate psychotherapy to learn how to develop better stress management and better coping and anxiety reduction skills. If there have been any past negative experiences affecting your sexual performance, they should be processed in therapy for you to rehabilitate from them. A good psychotherapist with expertise in anxiety disorders could help you with this process, and a sex therapist could be the professional with the best expertise to help you around anxiety and other psychological problems causing a sexual dysfunction like this.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

There is not drug that could cure or rehabilitate you from this disorder, for rehabilitation only psychotherapy could help you, but there are drugs for anxiety that are used to control the anxiety symptoms, what could help in that way the sexual performance, but remember that if this is not a medical problem, but psychological in nature, only good psychological treatment could allow you to rehabilitate from it. You could try yourself to learn relaxation technique, anxiety and stress management, try to improve your self-confidence and more by yourself or though different programs, but the most direct and effective way to address it would be through necessary professional support as previously described. If you suffer of anxiety or depression or of any other mental health problem, please get psychological treatment as soon as possible, since they use to be behind this sexual dysfunction, and once you rehabilitate from them, the sexual dysfunction uses to end.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

RealSupport and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Rafael M.T.Therapist says:
7:00 AM
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
7:00 AM
I am very sorry to know about this problem.
7:02 AM
How long ago did you start having this problem?
7:06 AM
What you are describing here is known as Premature Ejaculation, this is a common sexual dysfunction, and it could be caused by different psychological and physical factors. Could you please tell me how long ago did this problem start and if it has been this way since then or if some times you can attain and keep good erection lasting longer?
7:07 AM
When you masturbate alone or with your partner, do you also present the same problem?
7:13 AM
The first step to take here is to make sure you do not have any medical condition causing this dysfunction, in order to know that your primary care physician would have to evaluate you and if everything seems fine with your general health, including your hormones, he would refer you to the urologist for more specialized assessment. If this expert tells you there is no problem at that level either, then you can be sure, this is a psychological problem.
7:14 AM
Around %30 of males suffer of this disorder at some time in their lives, most times because of stress and anxiety related problems. Thus as soon as the psychological issues are addressed, the problems goes away.
7:20 AM
First you would need to work on identifying sources of stress-anxiety in your life and developing better coping- stress management skills. You said you haven't have sex many times, which could be an important factor leading to this sexual dysfunction, once you are a young adult but without much experience, what could be associated to different personal factors creating anxiety around this area, as I previously explained. Many times religious beliefs, value system, introversion or shyness, or any other problem could lead the person to experience this dysfunction. It could be temporary or become chronic if untreated.
7:23 AM
If it's psychological, the person would need adequate psychotherapy to learn how to develop better stress management and better coping and anxiety reduction skills. If there have been any past negative experiences affecting your sexual performance, they should be processed in therapy for you to rehabilitate from them. A good psychotherapist with expertise in anxiety disorders could help you with this process, and a sex therapist could be the professional with the best expertise to help you around anxiety and other psychological problems causing a sexual dysfunction like this.
7:30 AM
There is not drug that could cure or rehabilitate you from this disorder, for rehabilitation only psychotherapy could help you, but there are drugs for anxiety that are used to control the anxiety symptoms, what could help in that way the sexual performance, but remember that if this is not a medical problem, but psychological in nature, only good psychological treatment could allow you to rehabilitate from it. You could try yourself to learn relaxation technique, anxiety and stress management, try to improve your self-confidence and more by yourself or though different programs, but the most direct and effective way to address it would be through necessary professional support as previously described. If you suffer of anxiety or depression or of any other mental health problem, please get psychological treatment as soon as possible, since they use to be behind this sexual dysfunction, and once you rehabilitate from them, the sexual dysfunction uses to end.
7:30 AM
Does it make sense?

Please feel free to ask any other questions you may have or to reply to mine, since I am here willing to support you as possible. Thanks.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Of course, it does make sense. Thank you for this valuable information. I had sex 10 times over 3 months in my whole life. Every time we start the intercourse, I feel pressure on my penis that makes me unable to control it, however I tried to use PC muscle before when I had sex first thing in the morning and I lasted for 20 minutes and that was surprising. I used to masturbate in the past but not that much. Sometimes once a month or I may not for 3 months. When I masturbate I don't last for longtime. Because when I was 18 till 21, I used to do it and I was always afraid that my parents see me therefore, I always wanted to finish quickly. What if I use Viagra and Prozac? Thank you

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