I'm not sure how long of a question I can ask here, so I'll try to keep it brief.
When my mother was young, she was the victim of sexual assault. I believe this is what caused her to raise me with the idea that I should be ashamed of having sexual thoughts about women, and that the whole act of sex was just disgusting in general. As I'm not a professional I can only speculate how this has affected me as I went through my teens/20s. The relationships I had usually only lasted a few weeks. I've had numerous one night stands, and tended to wind up in "friends with benefits" situations frequently. I eventually decided that these pointless "flings" needed to stop.
Fast forward to present day. I've been seeing a woman who I've actually known for some time as a good friend. Her opinion, unlike most of the girls in the past, actually really matters to me. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and is very well balanced. The issue is that in the bedroom I just don't seem to be able to perform. At all. It's happened three times now, and each time I feel worse and worse about myself. This has never happened to me before, and I fear that my paranoia about it is just building up stronger and stronger mental blocks, making it harder and harder to actually get aroused.
I have no idea if this is normal, but I feel like it really isn't. I'm at a loss for what steps I should take, or what kinds of things I can do to try to relieve some of this anxiety
I hope this wasn't too drawn out, and I really appreciate your time.