How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10566
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
74815544
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Z is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Anxious & Peru

This answer was rated:

Anxious & Peru

Dr. Z :

Hello :)

Dr. Z :

How did it go?

Customer:

well, she was there, she opend the door..

Customer:

we say, hi and I asked her if she was ok, I told her I was worry because I dint hear from her last night.
she explain to me that she was at the store then trying to get her medication but they wount give it to her and she was getting irritated..

Dr. Z :

Well irritated is her MO these days unfortunately

Customer:

she told me she got food and came back home.

Customer:

MO?

Customer:

I asked her Flat out ( are we ok)?

Dr. Z :

Modus Operandi, it means basically that has been her behavior lately

Customer:

she asked what do you mean ? I say Us, she say yesm but still trying to get over the rough part, and also It did not help I dint comunicate about the appartment..

Customer:

so she say, If you not comunicating im going to let you do you thing ..

Customer:

shes droping the dogs tonight...

Dr. Z :

So she was not communicating with you because she mad at you for the apartment?

Customer:

I think so..

Customer:

heres another thing Dr Z
She had about 24 roses in her appartment, on a basin.. I went to the kitchen because I say the card you fill out when you send them you know.. and she imediately went there and got it.

Customer:

she told her dad send her flowers for support

Dr. Z :

Oh, that is a little suspicious I would agree with you

Customer:

I asked what Dad say, and she told me just encouragement,.

Customer:

and again.. here is where I need the help, because if im trying to support her, trust her etc.. I need to let that go correct?

Customer:

belive her, that the flowers where from dad.

Customer:

while I was there, the pharmacy call her, and she was.. see I told you

Dr. Z :

Yes you do have to trust her and just shrug it off that the flowers are from her father

Customer:

also I think she is geting tired of me saying.. is mmy fault and that im sorry..

Customer:

like when I say.. I was sorry about not comunicating about the appartment

Dr. Z :

Yeah I can see that because remember she likes you to be dominant. I think you should have brought up that if she was upset with you then she should have communicated that instead of being passive-aggressive.

Customer:

yeah..

Customer:

so im being "the nice guy"

Dr. Z :

You can still be the nice guy, but tell her when she does something wrong too

Customer:

I mean.. she obiously wants to stay with me.. by me asking her .. "is everything ok with us"

Customer:

also I dont think she likes to take responsability for parts in this relationship

Customer:

she keep saying (dont put it on me)

Customer:

example I asked her that we havent spend mutch time together.. and she said the last times i wsa there I was falling sleep and was tired.

Customer:

I suggested that we should do things outside of her appartment, with she agree on

Dr. Z :

So it seems like she wants to spend time with you, that is a good thing

Dr. Z :

I think she wants to be with you too, but I think both of you have to admit your faults during these tough times for both of you to move forward

Customer:

true..

Customer:

what do you think about the flowers?

Customer:

she should not be hiding a note from her dad

Customer:

but.. I rather think they came from her dad

Dr. Z :

Well they could have been sent by her father, she has been keeping you and her family very separate

Customer:

Man.. you remember the details!
you have notes or what? lol

Dr. Z :

Haha, I have a unique memory where I remember a lot

Dr. Z :

It is a just a genetic gift, no skill involved at all

Customer:

cool

Customer:

well Im kind of proud of my self for not going last night..

Dr. Z :

And I think you should be proud that you did not go over there too

Customer:

she did told me that.. I basically say im on my way and she was not done.

Customer:

what do you think of the over all situation??

Customer:

she told me this other job will be mostly days..

Dr. Z :

I think you both are working on repairing your relationship and moving forward, but it is difficult for both of you because of your schedules and her medical issues as well

Dr. Z :

But I think you personally are doing a good job

Customer:

thanks man.
I really love her and care for her, despite my negative thougs

Customer:

today and last night was rough man

Dr. Z :

I know it was tough, but you have to trust her and believe that she is being faithful to you if you want this relationship to work

Customer:

ok man.
got to go just wanted to let you know a aupdate

Dr. Z :

That is good that you went over there and it seems like it was a positive meeting. I hope you both get a chance to spend time together this weekend

Customer:

she told me every time I go over I get upset because we dont have intimacy..

Customer:

so I have to think anbout grandma and baseball

Dr. Z :

Yes think about anything else to get you out of the mood because obviously her headaches cause her to have a low libido right now

Customer:

alright.. Ill talk to you later

Dr. Z :

Good luck and God bless you as well. Have a great rest of your day

Customer:

God Bless you!

Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions