I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that you are having these trust issues with your partner, but they are understandable giving your history with your past relationships, this current one, and your father.
Before your partner's cheating incident, did you have trust issues as well?
Okay, so your partner's depression just reinforced your trust issues and possible insecurity, which again is understandable.
I think if you end this relationship, you will just continue to have trust issues with your next partner, so ending it is not a good solution
I would like to recommend the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help with this anxiety over your trust issues. CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen.
This is the most evidence based therapy to help you think more objectively and not negatively, so you can learn to trust again
Would you like me to recommend some good CBT techniques and books for you?
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen anxiety symptoms. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
Also individuals with severe anxiety have a poor coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your symptoms better.
In addition these books can be helpful too
Yes you should do them daily to help them be more ingrained in your mind
Right now you are trying to retrain your brain to think more objectively and not as negatively
Seeing a CBT therapist in your area would be the most ideal as they can work with you on these techniques, but if you do not feel comfortable then you can just practice these techniques in the books and the ones I gave you in the links
Here is a good way to find a CBT therapist as well in the UK
You can tell him, but try not to dwell on it. Also let him know about these techniques and he can try to reassure you and put more objective thoughts in your mind as well
He can be a support for you through this treatment
Yes you should not stop him doing these things, just like he should not stop you either.
Yes controlling is a sign that you are jealous and do have trust issues, so you try to control him to cope with these issues, but that will just push him away. Once the CBT techniques start to take hold and you trust more, you will notice that you will not feel compelled to control him as much
Anytime, Is there anything else I can assist you with?